Hi Ovacomer
It is now just over 3 months since my Mum passed away, I have worked through the surreal - did this really happen stage and am now going through the same stage of greiving as you. There were more tears when she was alive, than now.
I visited Mum everyday for the past 41/2yrs since she was moved into a CH,dementia secured. I oversaw all her care/care plans etc worked as part of the team caring for her, latterly feeding her. Words/speech/molibity gone, but she kept her happy demeanour, so I still ensured her care and enjoyed hugs/kisses etc etc. Now, although like you positive about the release for Mum and also for me, I am now resting, recovering and re-adjusting. I don`t feel guility. I don`t feel a gap in the day, but I am now beginning to miss caring for her, as well as her hugs, her touch her smile- I called it "mutual comfort" we shared although she didn`t know who I was. . I am retired. My family now are back at the top of my agenda especially my hushand, (I`m going to treat him to a holiday of his choice as a thank you for his quiet, unselfish support over a long period) they are all now experiencing the new me, released of the responsibility (Im the only child) and the trauma of the past 8 years etc.I am able to keep my mind busy, but its when I`m still. I still find Sundays difficult. Mum passed away on Mothers Day this year. I don`t think there is any answer as to how we deal with this feeling, other than allow the thoughts to happen, churn it over in my mind, then find a positive and I think eventually this feeling will pass. I try to file negative memories in bin 13! and look to the positive and look forward. Gardening is becoming my therapy, so when negative or tearful, if I can, I go out into the garden, even if its just to dead-head flowers or move a few pots around, taking in the wonder of life.
I hope this helps you and perhaps others from TP will have similar feelings.
I wish you well.
Heather x