Starting out with a young husband with forgetfulness

[KatieClaw]

Hi apologies if this is a long post....
My husband 48yrs has changed over the past 12 months from a personality perspective to the point where I was actually saying he's not the man I married. There's been the forgetfulness starting jobs around the house not finishing them, not remembering dates, not telling me his parents were coming to visit, oddly chaotic stuff. But he's always been distracted so I put it down to that. Then since Christmas ive been saying he needs to go to the GP as his memory is rubbish. He obviously refused told me I was making it up and it was all so vague it was in my head.

Since March he's lost 2 bank cards, his wallet separately, coats, etc. then on holidays over Easter he forgot ten years of his sisters working career. It just wasn't there. He blamed tiredness. But there was this strange blank look. Then 3 weeks ago he forgot a wedding we were going to. As you can imagine there was anger as it came out the night before the wedding. A close friend over email suggested dementia so now I was worried. The day after the wedding he had that blank look again but this time he couldn't remember where our son was. Blank. Just not there. I booked the GP and made him go. It turns out he's had some issues at work. So on Tuesday we have an appt at the memory clinic. I've noticed and others have noticed periods brief though they are of confusion, struggling with words, unable to do simple maths, forgetting dates, holidays, people, going to the shop with our 7yr old daughter and not remembering what he went for. All this since the GP.
I'm terrified. Borderline depressed mostly because he has moments of lucidity then he's back in the 'everything is awesome' mode as he is rationalising it and really can't understand why I'm worried because he feels fine. He's refusing to tell his family. There's history of multi infarct dementia in his grandmother. I think his family would freak. My family live in Ireland. I have amazing friends but I'm living this alone. I know I'm jumping the gun let's face it this could be anything right....? But I know enough I'm a nurse and I've talked to enough colleagues - they all get that shugar it's not good look right before telling me it'll be fine- to know something's coming. Has anyone had experience of the memory clinic or similar experiences?

 

[Alison N]

Hi Katieclaw, I'm sorry for what you are going through. The symptoms you describe are the same that my husband went through over the last 2 to 3 years. I just put it down to 'not listening to a word I say' syndrome. Like you, I insisted he went to the doctor and eventually he was referred to the memory clinic.

He was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment but because of his age (51) he was referred to the London Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery. Last September he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I know all you can do is worry but don't jump the gun. It may be depression or MCI which is not always permanent. You mention there are issues at work which could affect the way he is behaving. Has he been prescribed any anti depressants?

You will find so much support on this site and I am sure others will give help and advice.

Take care

Alison

 

[KatieClaw]

Hi Alison
He's had depression related to beta blockers for high blood pressure in the past (something the GP forgot to tell us was really common) this was 6 years ago. I know the symptoms and he's definitely not depressed. He's really normal aside from odd moments of confusion and forgetting stuff. He describes it as being blank and then when he gets a 'hook' everything comes back. This is whats happened at work. He's been talking to someone and had no idea, he describes it as being completely blank until hes got the hook. Meeting a new member of staff then the following week meeting her again and having no idea who she was, completely blank until the following day when speaking to another colleague he had a hook and remembered everything.

At the minute I'm hoping for the best but preparing myself for the worst. It's the not knowing that's the worst. Thanks for your reply.
Carol.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Sorry to read of your fears Katie. You've come to the right place here; there's a wealth of experience and knowledge, and you'll find kindness and understanding.

You're right to fear the worst but hope for the best, because so many things can look like Alzheimer's but are something else entirely. A urinary infection is a case in point. So it's good that he's seen his GP.

Sending a (hopefully) comforting hug.

 

[KatieClaw]

Thanks Anne we'll just have to wait and see