Help. Desperate and in despair and I do not know what to do

Kazza72

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
202
0
West London
They're sending her home tomorrow...if I had refused I think that in itself would have sealed my fate to being homeless...they claim they are going to try and get me more help though


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Sad Misty

Registered User
Jun 8, 2015
31
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Okey well lets try to look at this in both points kazza dear

1 Thats to bad that they sending her home however she might be in the eyes of the hospital "well enough " fore her to do so so they dont have any choice (we have the same iccues over here with patience being not to sick to get in custody but not well enough to be out ether )

2 i do still i say you managed to open there ears as they have informed you they will try to (sadly this is a specific process (i have the same with me and stepping down as im stuck until they have organized the relief roughly 2 weeks ) So i would say you have won the first battle dear and now al you have to do is keep stressing you're standpoint dear ,and also if she again gets worse (i truly hope this will not happen ) and if so emidietly without dought call the same as nr´s as you did before and dont lock you're self in the bathroom and dont wait. First sign get on the phone (the more you have to call fore help and send her back the faster they will feel they have to do something as then it becomes a "emergency" that cant wait even fore them and they have to act on this problem .

you have done good Kazza now do try to hang on to this first victory and continue to stand up fore you're feelings in this matter dear . Stay on them to get results and be a nucence fore them and demand to know whats happening etc.....
 
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LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
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Brixham Devon
They're sending her home tomorrow...if I had refused I think that in itself would have sealed my fate to being homeless...they claim they are going to try and get me more help though


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Claiming and trying is just not good enough. Refuse to have your Mum home as you can't keep both of you safe. Insist on seeing the Hospital SW and get their 'help' ideas in writing. Has your Mum got keys to get inside?

Really feel for you Kazza
 

Sad Misty

Registered User
Jun 8, 2015
31
0
Claiming and trying is just not good enough. Refuse to have your Mum home as you can't keep both of you safe. Insist on seeing the Hospital SW and get their 'help' ideas in writing. Has your Mum got keys to get inside?

Really feel for you Kazza

with al due respect Lyn as far as i understand this if kazza " refuse" to take her they might send kazza out on the street as its HER apartment and HER lease ,i do on the other hand agree on the other things writing is ALWAYS better then verbal :eek:
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
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South coast
I do hope that they dont send her home yet. Hospitals are not meant to discharge people before the care package is put in place - although it often happens.
If she does end up back home then if the same problems that put her in hospital happen again do not hesitate to get her back as an emergency.
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
859
0
Lytham St Annes
They will not put you on the street, or make you homeless, as already advised - you too are vulnerable, due to the situation you are now in with Mum.........keep on to the housing officer and if no joy........COMPLAIN.
 

Kazza72

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
202
0
West London
Thanks all. Our social worker gave me a call and is going to try and place mum into emergency respite. I need to recharge, am no good to mum as I am at the mo. Thank you to everyone who has shown concern, you were all a huge help to me, it was comforting to know you all care x


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LYN T

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Aug 30, 2012
6,958
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Brixham Devon
with al due respect Lyn as far as i understand this if kazza " refuse" to take her they might send kazza out on the street as its HER apartment and HER lease ,i do on the other hand agree on the other things writing is ALWAYS better then verbal :eek:

Kazza won't be just 'out on the street' there is due process to follow before anyone is evicted. She has possibly got a good case in at least being rehomed to another council property. She is vulnerable and has been a good carer-that may go in her favour. As has been mentioned before Kazza needs to get help from the CAB, but her most urgent problem is in fighting her Mum's corner and getting the help that is needed. I fail to see how accepting her Mum home without an extablished care plan will help.

Kazza-well done in getting the hospital SW on side-you must be exhausted but I hope you have some better news today

Love

Lyn T
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Kazza shelter gives some good advice about what happens when someone dies/leaves home to go to CH, AND it can put you in touch with someone who could possibly fight your corner

england.shelter.org.uk-type into google-sorry link wouldn't work
 
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Sad Misty

Registered User
Jun 8, 2015
31
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Thanks all. Our social worker gave me a call and is going to try and place mum into emergency respite. I need to recharge, am no good to mum as I am at the mo. Thank you to everyone who has shown concern, you were all a huge help to me, it was comforting to know you all care x


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Glad if i could be at some help Kazza now good luck dear i really feel fore you and the present situation you are currently in

Kazza won't be just 'out on the street' there is due process to follow before anyone is evicted. She has possibly got a good case in at least being rehomed to another council property. She is vulnerable and has been a good carer-that may go in her favour. As has been mentioned before Kazza needs to get help from the CAB, but her most urgent problem is in fighting her Mum's corner and getting the help that is needed. I fail to see how accepting her Mum home without an extablished care plan will help.

As i previously stated im not familiar with sed country's laws and i can only go with what is sed by Kazza, however it sounds fair what you' are saying reg the rules so why would i argue against that ? Oh i agree 100 % , again you're right and i never sed otherwise , i agree. Thats what i would and asked fore the same as you are referring to (we have regular meetings as well as when i pull the alarm we emidietly have another "extra" meeting like we have tomorrow with al involved in mums life and al is in writing ) ,What i sed was based on kazza`s own statement that Kazza risked being homeless thats al Lyn. In no way shape or form did i mean to criticize you're knowledge or wisdom on whats the best thing to do in Kazza`s case , So al in al we are in an agreement Lyn. However as i sed as im not familiar with the rules in sed country so i can only go by Kazza`s own statements in this case

Btw here`s the advice i got from mums Dementia nurse yesterday when we (just me and her ) had a "pre" meeting. When the caretaker is starting to go down further in its illness its often better that the caretakers (usely family members ) stepping back and let others take over due to the " emotional " bond that is between family members . So Kazza dear you're doing the right thing according to the same advice im getting with my mum
 
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Kazza72

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
202
0
West London
Thanks to everyone who helped me earlier in the week.

I'm not sure if I had some kind of breakdown last week. Mum was taken to hospital late Monday night, I last visited her Wednesday....I haven't left the house since. Forcing myself to go to the hospital today, back to work tomorrow, am scared, life is turning to s**t but for mums sake I think I'm going to have to forget about the council tenancy and place mum into a care home where she will be properly looked after. I can't so it anymore, me and mum are bad for each other. I'm tired and I need this stress to stop.


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Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,242
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Cotswolds
Kazza, I'm so sorry things are so bad for you. I agree it would be a good idea to see your GP about your stress....also that your mum probably does need 24/7 care. You are making good progress, and you'll get there in the end :)

Please look after yourself, you really need to, I think :)

Holding your hand :)

Lindy xx
 

Sad Misty

Registered User
Jun 8, 2015
31
0
Thanks to everyone who helped me earlier in the week.

I'm not sure if I had some kind of breakdown last week. Mum was taken to hospital late Monday night, I last visited her Wednesday....I haven't left the house since. Forcing myself to go to the hospital today, back to work tomorrow, am scared, life is turning to s**t but for mums sake I think I'm going to have to forget about the council tenancy and place mum into a care home where she will be properly looked after. I can't so it anymore, me and mum are bad for each other. I'm tired and I need this stress to stop.


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Even if you had it was sadly to be expected kazza dear :( Okay thats to bad but again we al knew this could happen dear , not good but i can defenetly understand you :( , right now it might look a little on that side Kazza but i can tell you from experience if you just keep fighting against it things will turn around fore the better dear, if you think this would be fore the best then this is the way you should do it kazza ,and from what you have sed i have to agree on you're desition 8as i sed i had to take a similar desition as well :(

Don't give up Kazza but as i sed earlier also dont forget about you're own health and life
 

Kazza72

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
202
0
West London
My troubles are far from over, but mum needs to be safe and well looked after. Am on the verge of losing my job as the issues if being a carer have prompted my employer to force me into a corner resulting in me needing to find another job...and homelessness on top of it....no family support...I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and for that I apologise, But I have no fight left in me.


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AlsoConfused

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Sep 17, 2010
1,952
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Hi Kazza

I'm so glad you've decided you MUST now take care of yourself. You've given your all in caring for your Mum; now the only practical course is to put yourself first for a bit.

I hope and believe the practical problems you face over housing etc will become much more manageable and less scary once you've had a little time to recover from all the burdens you've carried for so long.
 

Sad Misty

Registered User
Jun 8, 2015
31
0
My troubles are far from over, but mum needs to be safe and well looked after. Am on the verge of losing my job as the issues if being a carer have prompted my employer to force me into a corner resulting in me needing to find another job...and homelessness on top of it....no family support...I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and for that I apologise, But I have no fight left in me.


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Sadly i have to agree with you on that one Kazza :( , Again i know how hard this desition must be to take fore you but we know this is the right one dear. You have not yet lost it dear now its time to fight fore you're situation Kazza (talk to you're boss ). You aren't there just yet kazza and until you are try to by some time and save a mush money you can spare and look around fore another apartment (thats actually what im doing only in my case my landlord died (i rent house on the country side) a few month back and im saving as best i can to buy a cheap other house and buying time as best i can to be able to do this. In the mean time i look al over at different other options ) . Sadly this is al to common in this case and i can tell you i have only 2 from our family that does support me as well but only verbally as they live too far from here :( Why should you have to feel you're sorry fore feeling sorry fore you're self fore once kazza ? If i had a dime fore every time ive sed the same or anyone i have helped in the past i would be a milonere kazza you defenetly have lots of fight left in you kazza dear its just a matter of finding it from deep within (trust me on this )
 
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Boldredrosie

Registered User
Mar 13, 2012
244
0
Am on the verge of losing my job as the issues if being a carer have prompted my employer to force me into a corner resulting in me needing to find another job...But I have no fight left in me. Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
I hear what you're saying about having no fight left in you -- I totally get that but I don't think legally you can be forced out of your job because of your care responsibilities.

Have a look here https://professionals.carers.org/carers-rights-work