Deb, about the struggle over the carers--I've seen others on here post about having a similar issue. Maybe one of them will respond to you, but one tip I've seen involves somehow convincing the person with dementia that they are doing the carers a favor by "allowing" them to come and work. Sometimes this involves a story about how they need the money, or they need the training, or something bad will happen to them if they can't work at your house, or that they are free, or some combination of the above. Maybe there is an approach in there that could work.
I'm glad you got a sympathetic ear from the bank person!
I'm glad you got a sympathetic ear from the bank person!