God Ann, hope things are better today. You've probably already thought of this and investigated. Is she getting too much stimulation at day care? Do you know what I mean? not very good at explaining myself, but when mum has had a busy day, I just can't calm her down, the connections she makes with what she has seen or heard through the day are truly strange. Probably talking out of my hat, but thought I'd throw it in there!!
Great minds, Tin - I've wondered that myself!
As far as I can make out, Mil choses to spend her day in the main section of the home, rather than in the day care unit - she sometimes spends time with a damp cloth, going over the tables, she will maybe fold tea towels and maybe help put flowers into little vases - same sort of 'little' jobs she will sometimes do here at home. So, she isn't involved with the activities in the day care unit hardly at all. In the main home, there is entertainment of some sort once or twice a week, though she often choses to go sit in one of the other lounges rather than watch or take part. Now and again she goes out for a coffee to a cafe with several others. On Tuesdays she has singing for the brain and the hairdresser calls once a fortnight on that day too. But, most of the time, I'm told she tends to sit, often snoozing or sometimes chatting to staff or residents, though she does tend to move from lounge to lounge throughout the day. I don't think that there is a massive amount there to over stimulate her - but who knows? I do know that there are two 'difficult' residents there, that she tends to clash with - I was really shocked the first time I heard the way that she spoke to them, and vice versa - but from the staff reaction, its not an unusual occurence. I have wondered if on days when she is very agitated, if she has perhaps had more than the usual number of run-ins with either of those two residents?
Yep, I promise 2jays and Lynn - I have thought through the 'worst case' scenario and tried to prepare so that I have something in place before things hit melt down xxxx
Spamar, Mil is constantly covered in dreadful bruises, mainly on her hands but also up her arms. I've worked out that a lot of it with her is caused by her gripping one hand with the other to try and stop the shaking - but with others, I've watched her just slightly mis-judge a doorway and give herslef what ou would think would be the tiniest of bumps - then seen the massive bruise that develops as a result
If you are concerned, just could phrase it that you know how easy he bruises, but ask could a note be kept by staff if they spot how he is doing it? Being asked to record specific instances of something can make staff be a lot more careful!
Just seen your last post - Absolutely disgusted that someone from a so called support agency could be so stupid and uninformed! I've had similar comments from 'aquaintences' over Mil being in day care 5 days a week - what they don't know is that a lot of the time she is there, I too am sorting paperwork and finance, cleaning up after her (washing/ironing/checking her room for hidden 'delights'!) or like this morning, nearly 2 hours spent picking up things she needs from various shops. I hope to goodness they listened when you put them straight!
I did film her once, in the early days pre-meds, Grace - I just did it so that if when we did see the consultant and she pulled her then usual convincing trick of appearing quite calm and rational, I'd have some back up - the difference between the two behaviours was so pronounced that I don't think I would have believed an account of it without some sort of proof! Although they don't seem to get what we get in day care, I think that there are enough 'flashes' of awkwardness for them to realise how bad she can get.
Red, Hun - I can't blame you for just wanting to get home - I bet you are exhausted! Its so stupid how they can make you jump through hoops over things like 'original' death certificates
Where on earth is compassion and consideration at what is obviously a difficult enought time?
Not a brilliant morning for Poor Old Mil - continuous fretting from the moment she came downstairs, worried about getting to college on time, worried about the weather, the trains running late, what about the roadworks? After brekkie and having her hair done, she went to sit on the sofa and the tears started - what was she going to do? Her bag was lost, and her shoes, she had been looking for them for the 'last two hours since I got up' - she hadn't, obviously, this was the first time they had been mentioned and she certainly hadn't 'looked high and low' as she was insisting. They were in the usual place, but this business of crying about something before there is any need is so frustrating.
Once she had gone, I went down to DLS and bought 2 new mattress toppers, some even more absorbant pull ups and some extra absorbant pads for the netties that the continence clinic have sent. I also bought yet more wipes, more gel, two more pillows (I've had to yet again wash the 2 from last night, because again, she had stripped off the cases and put the pillows over part of the wet patch, and they are on their last legs), more spray cleaner and more air freshener for her room. Nearly £100, gone - just like that! She can afford it, I know, but my blood boils at how much they charge for these essential products - she will, if they work, start getting some of the pads/pull ups from the continence clinic - but those orders can only be changed every 3 months, so till then, she will have to 'stump up'. We're also thinking about disposable kylies - simply to cut down on the washing - but the cost is astronomical, and if she gets night time pads/protection from the clinic, she will not get kylies as well.
I'm now puzzling as to where I'm going to store all her pads - the packs for the netty pads are blooming huge! This house is turning into a flipping care home with all the stuff she needs!
