My life- without the one I love

[LYN T]

Saffie-thank you. I feel as though I've been putting too much pressure on myself to stop being so down. You are right there is no timescale for such things. I feel as I do and it is 'normal' Your kind words have put things into a better perspective.

Di -I so agree with you about TP. I don't tell either my daughter or best friend how I really feel I just can't. That's why I come on TP to offload my feelings-it's all I can do

Thank you for understanding

Love,

Lyn T XX

 

[Tears Falling]

Girls you are all doing so well. Continue to be kind to yourselves. It will take as long as it takes and to be honest I am not sure it will ever go away, you learn to live with the situation only.

My mil passed suddenly 3 years and 6 months ago. My fil says that it feels as if it's just happened. On a good day it feels as if it was just 3 months ago. If he gets 1 month for each year that passes then that will be a blessing and hopefully will ease for him.

 

[LYN T]

A little update! The cottage I was going to buy in Devon had such a bad structural report that I've pulled out of buying it I've been back down to Devon and I've seen some more houses which I am pondering over Different part of Devon-I get around you know!

I was very upset by the Estate Agent who was dealing with the original buying of the Cottage. She had a right go at me! She told me I was causing a lot of unhappiness by pulling out and there was nothing wrong with the house (the survey showed penetrating damp, rising damp. trouble with the chimney and roof-and those were just a few things) In addition the woman who owned the cottage with her Husband was suffering from depression and NEEDED to move closer to relatives. I put the phone down on her and burst into tears.

She then left a further two messages on my mobile-I didn't respond. Luckily for me my friend and neighbour works at the Estate Agency who are selling my house-she is quite fierce-and very good at her job. When I was away P phoned T and told her to back off-that means no more phone calls. Phew! Sometimes I'm not very good at standing up for myself.

So that's that! Off to Devon again on Monday to look at the houses on my short list.

My trouble is whenever I look at a house I always wonder what Pete would have thought of it, and would he have liked living there.

Oh well life was never meant to be easy was it?

Looking to see what's happened on TP since last Wednesday!

Love to you all

Lyn T XX

 

[Grannie G]

There`s nothing wrong with taking Pete with you to your new house Lyn, I would hate to think I`d left Dhiren behind.

I know it might sound daft to people who haven`t experienced loss in this way but if you want to take the feeling of Pete with you then do it.

The first estate agent needs reporting to Trading Standards. I know you might not have the emotional strength to do this but she really should not use what was bordering on threatening behaviour or harassment.

 

[Saffie]

I'm sorry you've had these setbacks Lyn, both in buying the cottage and the behaviour of the estate agent. That's just what you don't need and I'm glad your friend put her straight. Emotional blackmail and bullying is so very wrong - and unprofessional to boot!
I hope you find one of your other options fits the bill perfectly.
I'm sure that taking Pete's ideas on where you might live with you when you are looking can do nothing but good. He will be there with you in heart and spirit so it's very fitting.

Good luck with your house search. xxx

 

[WIFE]

What a miserable disappointment Lyn but on the scale of what you've been through in the last few years - not worth stressing over too much. Another property will come along and hopefully this time it will be the right one for you - and dear Pete - to move to. Perhaps bereavement makes us extra sensitive towards other people - my darling grandmother used to say "Just let them all go and boil their heads". I've tried it and it works in many upsetting situations. Lots of love DI

 

[jan.s]

Oh Lyn, the original cottage just wasn't meant to be. It is so sad though that estate agent felt she had to behave like that, obviously upset at losing her commission

It's good to take Pete with you, he will help you to choose the right place, and you'll know when you find it.

Good luck with your house hunting next week.

Jan x

 

[Soobee]

I am very angry that estate agent upset you like that. You had very good reasons for pulling out and she had no right to try and blackmail you into carrying on the sale out of pity.

Something better will come along soon, I am sure.

 

[2jays]

The house that's perfect for you in every way is just about to come on the market within the next week - you might even see it whilst down house looking....

That other house whilst seemingly perfect, obviously wasn't.

To become an estate agent in certain agencies.... Part of their roles/duties is to have their compassion button removed....

In my time of purchasing 10 homes (due to himself changing jobs) I've met those who only think about their commission..... and I've met those who only want to help you find your perfect home.

You will find the perfect home xxx






Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[NanLorac]

Sorry about your cottage Lyn. There is a house in Devon just waiting for you to find it.
Good luckx

 

[LYN T]

Sorry about your cottage Lyn. There is a house in Devon just waiting for you to find it.
Good luckx

I hope I've found it! I've been back and forth to Devon so much I feel as though I could drive there blindfold! I was determined not to buy something in a panic! So I have found a much more modern house in Brixham-I fell in love with it and to be honest, I think it is much more likely to be my forever home than the other one. It's full of light (large windows), semi rural but only 1 1/2 hours away from the fishing harbour. The lady who owns it is going to vacate on completion! Only 40 minutes from Pete' relatives and easy to get to. It's quiet, it's serene with a park round the corner (Dogs happy) and a walk over the hills to get to a beach. Above all, and best of all, Pete would have loved it there. We had a few days in Brixham many years ago-happy times. I remember both of us sat having a coffee on the quay and watching the fishing boats come in-Pete was delighted to see the seagulls following them. A sunny memory for what were sunny times.

The couple who are buying my present home are being very good and haven't withdrawn from buying. So that's where I am-I hope I haven't written this too soon!!!!

Love

Lyn T XX

 

[Grannie G]

Good news LYN. My fingers will stay crossed for you until completion.

 

[Il Gufo]

Mum's funeral

Deleted by Il Gufo as posted in wrong place.

 

[Il Gufo]

Posted in wrong place

I'm so very sorry Lyn T. It's been so long since I posted on her, and I seem to have piggy backed on your thread. Please accept my apologies, and also condolences for your loss. I will see if I can work out how to move my very lengthy comment.

 

[Saffie]

O how lovely Lyn! It sounds wonderful.
Is there a village within walking distance?

I do wish you could have gone on Escape to the Country though!
I feel I'm a near expert on what to buy for an escape now, I've watched so many.
Large country family kitchen, en suite, utility - all things I've managed to do without for many a year!
I now watch them all over again on Really!

I'll keep my fingers crossed it all goes through smoothly.xxx

 

[LYN T]

O how lovely Lyn! It sounds wonderful.
Is there a village within walking distance?

I do wish you could have gone on Escape to the Country though!
I feel I'm a near expert on what to by for an escape now, I've watched so many.
Large country family kitchen, en suite, utility - all things I've managed to do without for many a year!
I now watch them all over again on Really!

I'll keep my fingers crossed it all goes through smoothly.xxx

Well Saffie! You do have a long list, No it has none of the above The kitchen is larger than the one I've got. 4 bedrooms! That's one for me and one for each of my 2 dogs and 1 cat-well that;s the plan I suspect we will end up sharing the same bed still It's a dormer bungalow-one bedroom on the ground floor-but I hope to have a shower room put into a very large cupboard as that's the bedroom I will use. My grandson has already told me what curtains and duvet cover he wants for his bedroom. He is already looking forward to spending time with 'crazy Grandma' as he calls me!

It's not a village but a small harbour town. Local shops nearby and a bus stop at the end of the road. Being Devon and pretty as a picture there are a lot of visitors so difficult to park in the height of the season-anyway I can walk for England so the mile and a bit it takes to get to the Harbour is an easy stroll

'Escape to the Country?' they only have people on that have loads of money!!!!

Hope Grandaughter will slot into the household seemlessly

Love as always

Lyn T XX

 

[Saffie]

Hope Grandaughter will slot into the household seemlessly

O I think she will.
She's spent many a night here and even a few weeks about 2 years ago when she fell out with her stepfather.(Well he would be if they were married!)
She was in college then though and not as independent!

The house sounds delightful and a few shops locally are all you need.
The things I wrote are what most people say they want on the programme.
I left out the acres of land for the horses and the room for a vegetable plot - oh and light and airy!

Good idea to have the downstairs bedroom - save climbing the stairs when you're tired. We had one but it's now a sort of office, *** garden room, *** anything else!

Hope it all falls into place. xxx

 

[LYN T]

I'm still clearing my garageNearly finished Pete loved woodwork and had so many tools!Just the heavy stuff to get rid of-I will get a firm in. There is an exercise bike! Various bits of junk! A broken microwave! 2 large, heavy, wooden storage boxes! Some of Pete's Dad's tools! Why, oh why, do we hold on to such things! I should have got rid of all of that when I moved just over two years ago! At least the rubbish never made it into the house-but I've never been able to park my car in a double length garage. What was I thinking of to let it get so out of hand?

Oh well! Just a few more visits to the local dump!

XX

 

[Saffie]

Oh please don't mention garages and dumps!
I'm still trying to sort out the bedrooms!

 

[jan.s]

It sounds wonderful Lyn and I really hope all works out for you.

X