My dad

[poppy1964]

Hi
I have not posted before but I have been watching other peoples experiences. My Dad has dementia and has been in a care home since January. He had a fall in December and had to spend Christmas and his birthday in hospital. I live abroad with my family living in other countries. My Mum came to me for Christmas as I insisted but it was not too good as my Dad had to stay in the UK and we all missed him so much. They both should have been with us.

I went to see my parents at the weekend and Dad is now unresponsive. He can not talk but did hold my hand. He did not open his eyes and it was such a change from 6 weeks ago. Then, he did not know me but said I was a kind lady. Now, he is in a chair, can not talk or walk, does not open his eyes, can not swallow properly.

I have just flown back to where I live. I am on my own here as my family are elsewhere and I am feeling guilty about leaving my Mum and Dad but I have to work. I try and visit every 4 to 6 weeks.

How long will my Dad be able to carry on and what does he understand?

I am so upset but have no one to talk to about this.

Please could someone let me know what to expect now.

It is so unbearable.

Thanks
Poppy

 

[WIFE]

Poppy - what a sad situation you find yourself in. It is so difficult to predict how long someone will go on - much depends on their will to live as much as the medical condition. I am sure your Father knew you were there holding his hand even if he was not able to articulate as much. You will have to be guided by the medical team and your instincts at this stage of his journey. Thinking of you and your family at this most traumatic of times. WIFE