My sister and I looked after my at home until she died.
She was blessed by having other health issues in her old age after 80 years of ruddy good health.
She struggled with dementia for the last three years
(she had it for longer but the last three years were when it manifested itself most fiercely, she was 86 when she died)
but would never accept any input from carers, indeed in the latter months she wouldn't have any truck with Drs and nurses either.
I (54) am already a carer for my adult son and my sister is retired (63) so we were able to spend all day and most evenings with her.
We managed with this, even though inevitably it took it's toll on every aspect of our life.
Whenever she was ill we slept overnight with her and the other would take over day duty.
It was very hard.
Xmas 2013 my sister and I discussed how it couldn't go on anymore and Mam was going to have to accept input from carers.
We tried, they came...mostly they were given their marching orders.
She had a crisis, wandered outside on January 2nd 2014 at 3.30am.
This was always my deal breaker.
We arranged 1 weeks respite, she hated every second, after 1 weeks agony she came home distressed and angry.
She became ill from the heart failure she had managed for 15 years and after a stint in hospital where it was decided she couldn't endure the surgery required, we brought her home.
She was still loving.
There was no care we could access for overnight support, she would not allow daytime carers, my sister fell away from the stress of it and luckily, Mam's Prodigal son returned in time to do some overnight sleeps.
I had to sort Mam's personal hygiene, try to coax her to drink, clean catheter, reminisce, sing, cuddle, watch and worry.
The district nurse(palliative care) visited once a day. The carers would have been 4 times but were rejected.
It was very hard.
Mam died on 26th February 2014, in her own little cottage.
It was very hard but I have no regrets.