thankyou any words of encoragement any peice of advise, any words of wisdom helps more than you will eva know... as you are well aware you are suddenly plunged into a world of uncertantity a world thats totally alien, you wldnt believe or may be you would how words of encoragement words of wisdom, even some one just sending the word hug to u at them times when u just dnt know how yr going to get thro the night or day makes my world a little less confusing a little less daunting x x x
As an "ex" member, I was only going to come on here every few months to say hallo, but I read your post today, and felt I had to respond. Sweetie, you are going through
hell at the moment, and floundering in an ocean of uncertainty, which is frightening.
But your lifebelt, in the shape of the wonderful people on Talking Point, will keep you afloat, even if you feel you are drowning.
My own piece of advice, which I always gave because it worked so well for me, was to agree with absolutely everything John said.
His favourite phrase was "is it Thursday?", and after years of gritting my teeth and correcting him, I finally saw the light and thought "what does it matter if he's right or wrong". The joy on his face when I told him he was right was magical. And when he said "so tomorrow's Monday", and I agreed, it saved me getting agitated over nothing at all.
When he took my hands in his one day, and earnestly asked me "are you with child?", I took a deep breath and said "not today darling". I didn't point out that after nearly 50 years together, the fact that I had a hysterectomy over 30 years ago, and he had a vasectomy over 40 years ago, and I hadn't the energy to stray, nor a womb, it wasn't likely!
He'd wake me up in the wee small hours to ask what time our flight was, as he thought we were on holiday. John would get back to the land of nod in an instant - I'd toss and turn for ages, drop off, only to be awoken by him a few minutes later.
I didn't
suddenly see the light - John was diagnosed with AD 12 years before he died at Christmas, because it's a very long learning curve. There is nothing you have experienced or will experience, as a carer of someone you love dearly, that others on TP cannot identify with, and can help you on this horrible path.
It is so bewildering being given a pile of leaflets, with the unspoken inference of "there you are, now get on with it", and so I have offered my services at our local AD club as a buddy, for new carers. Which is what happens on TP, except that you have a wonderful circle of buddies, on tap, helping to support you, night and day.
I couldn't have coped without the wonderful people on here, and believe me, the advice they'll give you is invaluable. Never feel that you shouldn't ask for help or advice on here. It's the place to open your heart, and even if people cannot offer a solution, just knowing that you're not alone is such a comfort.
xxx