Hello, I thought I'd update on Mum although just typing the words makes me wince as I know things are getting worse and that they can't improve. 
I did the monthly visit of 300 mile round trip on Saturday (stayed overnight at my elderly uncle's; he doesn't have any cognitive impairment) and saw what so many other posters must see/have seen with sinking spirits: Every dish and bit of cutlery used, out of date food (and very little of it) in the fridge, laundry piled up, bed unchanged and now...Mum not showering Anyway, I did my crisis management: cleared up, went shopping, cooked, cajoled her into the shower but left yesterday knowing that it's not really helping. Of course, Mum INSISTS she needs no help so although she could afford a bit of help she won't ask. (She is in a housing association semi sheltered flat)
She has had a CT scan and one appointment at the Memory Clinic A friend accompanied her. I wrote to the GP with a letter that Mum willingly signed saying that findings could be shared with me as her only next of kin but have heard nothing. It so disheartens me to read that SS deem it appropriate to get involved only when the dementia patient can't wash (what about WON'T?) or feed themselves. (on what?)
I'm going to ring Mum's GP tomorrow and at least I can tell her of deteriorations..Do people think I'm going to have to wait for a crisis of some sort? Feeling very miserable and helpless and needed to 'off-load" here. It's so awful to see Mum so evidently not coping, denying it and making things worse.
Forgot to say about the mysterious knockings she says are occurring on her door at all times of the night. (Apparently 'they' work in shifts) She had the locks changed (!) and called the police who probably don't know about impairments and hadn't sorted out the keys. Thankfully she's not really leaving the house now.
Thanks for letting me rant TP
Aloysius
I did the monthly visit of 300 mile round trip on Saturday (stayed overnight at my elderly uncle's; he doesn't have any cognitive impairment) and saw what so many other posters must see/have seen with sinking spirits: Every dish and bit of cutlery used, out of date food (and very little of it) in the fridge, laundry piled up, bed unchanged and now...Mum not showering Anyway, I did my crisis management: cleared up, went shopping, cooked, cajoled her into the shower but left yesterday knowing that it's not really helping. Of course, Mum INSISTS she needs no help so although she could afford a bit of help she won't ask. (She is in a housing association semi sheltered flat)She has had a CT scan and one appointment at the Memory Clinic A friend accompanied her. I wrote to the GP with a letter that Mum willingly signed saying that findings could be shared with me as her only next of kin but have heard nothing. It so disheartens me to read that SS deem it appropriate to get involved only when the dementia patient can't wash (what about WON'T?) or feed themselves. (on what?)
I'm going to ring Mum's GP tomorrow and at least I can tell her of deteriorations..Do people think I'm going to have to wait for a crisis of some sort? Feeling very miserable and helpless and needed to 'off-load" here. It's so awful to see Mum so evidently not coping, denying it and making things worse.
Forgot to say about the mysterious knockings she says are occurring on her door at all times of the night. (Apparently 'they' work in shifts)
She had the locks changed (!) and called the police who probably don't know about impairments and hadn't sorted out the keys. Thankfully she's not really leaving the house now.Thanks for letting me rant TP
Aloysius
