Should my dad continue driving?

[henfenywfach]

Hi everyone,

My dad, 78, has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and we're waiting to find out from the DVLA if they think he's competent to be driving. However, I'm not sure their methods are reasonable enough, ie means tested.

I know my dad, and his driving has become markedly worse over the last ten years. My mum is worried that if he has to give up the car, they will lose a great deal of independence (she's partially-sighted, so doesn't drive). I am extremely nervous of the fact my dad is still driving, especially given that he has frequent episodes of memory loss, even to the point of not remembering what building he came out of ten seconds ago.

I live across the road from my parents and would be so happy to drive them anywhere they want to go, but out of fear of losing their independence, they refuse to put me on their insurance.

I'm really worried that their fear and denial will end up causing an accident. I'm very close to my parents, but I really fear that they have their heads a bit in the sand.

What can I do to help them?

Hi!
My dad s licence was not renewed after they had made a decision..not that the consultant helped much!!!.
My dads driving was affected by his concentration going ..when i was in the car with he saw something and his eye wondered...to put it lightly if i hadnt reacted wed all be dead.!

I begged and begged and no matter what..i said..my mums denial just backed him up and he continued to drive!..i was waiting for the call!..

A locum at clinic told him if it was his dad hed want him to give up!..he listened but wouldnt stop...
The drs report said he loses concentration..the family are worried..the dvla thankfully made the right decision!

Your dad has to tell dvla and insurance he has what ever he has or it ll be void if he has a bump.

When my dad had full diagnosis he lied and said hed told them ..but he hadnt.

There was a delay in decision making at dvla..i rang and rang..
In the end the licence was stopped.

I always said that id ring them and tell them hes a danger to himself and the public..and if he or my mother didnt like it.tough!..theyd be alive!.
I am now their main driver...its two years since and he still moans about it and misses driving..but as deterioation happens i am so relieved hes not driving anymore..

People can also contact the dvla anonymously. ...

Im not saying that those who are safe to do so shouldnt..but everyones different...
But what i will say is what their loved ones have to go through worrying and waiting for the call..is cruel and tormenting....and the pressure is horrendous...they are only losing their car not their freedom..
Best wishes

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[RedLou]

This is one issue that will go away over the next few years as driverless cars are produced. You'll be able to dial up a driverless taxi on a whim if you live in a city, at least. So instead we'll all be worrying about the extra scope for wandering!

 

[ASH74]

Please be careful about using mobility scooters too. I live in a part of the world with lots of elderly people and there is often problems - pedestrians with walking sticks and mobility scooters competing for space on the pavement. I have personally witnessed several accidents where the mobility scooter has hit a pedestrian (often elderly) and there was one notorious incident reported in the local paper (I didnt witness this one) where the driver of a mobility scooter ran an elderly lady down, then panicked and reversed back over her

Thanks......yes we are monitoring FIL with the scooter ......it was a step down ......memory consultant told us about one of his patients who drove his mobility scooter the wrong way up an A road.........FIL is still convinced he can drive despite 3 consultants, the GP and driving assessment saying NO'


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[flossielime]

I have read the first post but not the subsequent ones. And simply OF COURSE he should NOT be driving. The fact you are even questioning it shows you already know this. I have had to stop both my dad and MIL from driving and it is not easy and upsetting. BUT you have to show back bone and do it. He could kill a child. You already know his driving has declined. You have to step up and stop him.

I have made some wrong choices and let my dad be a danger to himself, but I have made a call on those things and decided it is what he would want,. I.e wandering the streets at night, not eating properly. BUT the you can't make a call on allowing him to put others in danger, this is and absolute and you have to stop it now.

In the scheme of things my dad and MIL both went on about it for a while but they have now both moved on in their dementia and neither mention it now.