How to get through the Funeral
- Thread starter Dragonfly10
- Start date
I too thought this, after Dad went in CH he went downhill fast, but I have read many a post on here and I know now its not true. It was part and parcel of his life with Alzheimer's and the CH are wonderful.
We are all thinking of you Dragonfly.
Thanks for your kind thoughts, but unfortunately the Hospital more or less said he had been neglected.
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Thanks for all your kind thoughts, it's nice to know people are thinking of me.
I'm feeling really sick at the moment, I guess it's probably normal.
I'm feeling really sick at the moment, I guess it's probably normal.
Just to let you all know it went much better than I imagined.
There was only 14 people at the Crematorium, we did have a bit of a problem there, the minster who was a friend of my Dad's went to the wrong Crematorium. So the Undertaker started off taking the service, then the minster arrived and finished off. My Dad would have found it very amusing, and we had a little laugh at it, so it took the edge of things.
It was particularly upsetting when they played Danny Boy at the end, as that was one of the few songs my Dad would sing (only a few lines though) .He would sing it any where or any time, in cafes or the middle of the night. If we referred to it he didn't realise he was singing.
Over 100 turned up at the Chapel for the Celebration of my Dads life. That wasn't too bad although the lady giving the Eulogy got my year of birth wrong and aged me by 10 years, so that caused a bit of a laugh.
At times it felt quite surreal, like I wasn't quite there.
It was nice catching up with some people afterwards I hadn't seen for years.
On the whole I think my Dad would have liked it as he was often smiling and trying to make us laugh.
There was only 14 people at the Crematorium, we did have a bit of a problem there, the minster who was a friend of my Dad's went to the wrong Crematorium. So the Undertaker started off taking the service, then the minster arrived and finished off. My Dad would have found it very amusing, and we had a little laugh at it, so it took the edge of things.
It was particularly upsetting when they played Danny Boy at the end, as that was one of the few songs my Dad would sing (only a few lines though) .He would sing it any where or any time, in cafes or the middle of the night. If we referred to it he didn't realise he was singing.
Over 100 turned up at the Chapel for the Celebration of my Dads life. That wasn't too bad although the lady giving the Eulogy got my year of birth wrong and aged me by 10 years, so that caused a bit of a laugh.
At times it felt quite surreal, like I wasn't quite there.
It was nice catching up with some people afterwards I hadn't seen for years.
On the whole I think my Dad would have liked it as he was often smiling and trying to make us laugh.
Hi,
Thank you for letting us know how it went, glad you got through it ok ( I knew you would ). Best wishes and thinking of you now and in the times to come xx
Thank you for letting us know how it went, glad you got through it ok ( I knew you would ). Best wishes and thinking of you now and in the times to come xx
I'm glad it went well, in the end anyway!
I'm sure the missing minister made it all a bit more bearable - afterwards maybe but perhaps was a bit of a worry at the start!
That was a good turnout for the Celebration and that must have pleased you and your family.
You have a difficult time ahead so just take each day as it comes and remember the good times before your father had dementia. These will gradually overcome your later ones. Take care. x
I'm sure the missing minister made it all a bit more bearable - afterwards maybe but perhaps was a bit of a worry at the start!
That was a good turnout for the Celebration and that must have pleased you and your family.
You have a difficult time ahead so just take each day as it comes and remember the good times before your father had dementia. These will gradually overcome your later ones. Take care. x
Ah, I'm so pleased that it wasn't the ordeal you were dreading, and that the little mixups actually caused a bit of a laugh. How lovely that so many people attended his Celebration, I would be so touched at that.
Well done for coping, and wishing you all the best for the days ahead xx
Well done for coping, and wishing you all the best for the days ahead xx
Thanks for the kind wishes.
My Mum has counted up the names on the list and 135 people attended, including some people who my Dad had worked with years ago. It was only a small chapel so a lot were standing.
It does make me feel a bit better to know so many people took the time to attend.
Hopefully now the most recent memories will fade and I can think of nicer ones xx
My Mum has counted up the names on the list and 135 people attended, including some people who my Dad had worked with years ago. It was only a small chapel so a lot were standing.
It does make me feel a bit better to know so many people took the time to attend.
Hopefully now the most recent memories will fade and I can think of nicer ones xx
Hi Dragonfly10,
So glad to hear everything went well for your Dad, Mum and you. It is a day that you will never forget and is bitter sweet with lots of lovely memories. I hope you don't mind but shortly after Dad passed one of his carers came to the house with this letter. Barb and I have had a lot of comfort from this and truly feel both our Dad and Mum's presence all around us.........
LETTER FROM HEAVEN
To my dearest family, here are some things I’d like to say.
But first of all to let you know that I arrived ok.
I’m writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
There’s no more tears of sadness here, there’s just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and he said, “I welcome you.
It’s good to have you back again. You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here so badly, as you were part of my plan
There’s so much we have to do, to help our mortal man”
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do
And foremost on his list, was to watch and care for you.
When you lie in bed at night and the days chores are put to flight.
God and I are close to you…..in the middle of the night.
When you’re thinking of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
There would be no more flowers, unless there was some rain
I wish that I could tell you, all that God has planned
But if he I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is oe’r
I’m closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead and many hills to climb
But together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too.
That as you give unto the world the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who’s in sorrow and in pain,
Then you can say to God tonight, “My day was not in vain”.
And now I am contented that my life was all worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low…
Just lend a hand and pick them up as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street as you’ve got me on your mind
I’m walking in your footsteps just half a step behind
And when it’s time for you to go…..from that body to be free.
Remember you’re not going; you’re coming home to me.
So glad to hear everything went well for your Dad, Mum and you. It is a day that you will never forget and is bitter sweet with lots of lovely memories. I hope you don't mind but shortly after Dad passed one of his carers came to the house with this letter. Barb and I have had a lot of comfort from this and truly feel both our Dad and Mum's presence all around us.........
LETTER FROM HEAVEN
To my dearest family, here are some things I’d like to say.
But first of all to let you know that I arrived ok.
I’m writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
There’s no more tears of sadness here, there’s just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and he said, “I welcome you.
It’s good to have you back again. You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here so badly, as you were part of my plan
There’s so much we have to do, to help our mortal man”
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do
And foremost on his list, was to watch and care for you.
When you lie in bed at night and the days chores are put to flight.
God and I are close to you…..in the middle of the night.
When you’re thinking of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain
There would be no more flowers, unless there was some rain
I wish that I could tell you, all that God has planned
But if he I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is oe’r
I’m closer to you now than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead and many hills to climb
But together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too.
That as you give unto the world the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who’s in sorrow and in pain,
Then you can say to God tonight, “My day was not in vain”.
And now I am contented that my life was all worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low…
Just lend a hand and pick them up as on your way you go.
When you’re walking down the street as you’ve got me on your mind
I’m walking in your footsteps just half a step behind
And when it’s time for you to go…..from that body to be free.
Remember you’re not going; you’re coming home to me.
Thanks, what a lovely piece. I could see a lot of my Dad in it. I could imagine him saying much of that.
It still doesn't seem real yet but I was talking to several people at the funeral who have lost both parents and they said it took them quite a while before they did.
So I guess it is probably normal.
It still doesn't seem real yet but I was talking to several people at the funeral who have lost both parents and they said it took them quite a while before they did.
So I guess it is probably normal.
Thanks. What a lovely piece. I could see a lot of my Dad in it. I could imagine him saying much of that.
It still doesn't seem real yet but I was talking to several people at the funeral who have lost both parents and they said it took them quite a while before they did.
So I guess it is probably normal.
It still doesn't seem real yet but I was talking to several people at the funeral who have lost both parents and they said it took them quite a while before they did.
So I guess it is probably normal.
