End of life care
- Thread starter cragmaid
- Start date
Off on my holidays but couldn't leave before I sent you my biggest squishy hug.
Hoping all is as calm and peaceful as it can be for you xxxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Hoping all is as calm and peaceful as it can be for you xxxxxx
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Dear Maureen, somehow I haven't seen your thread until just now. Tears just poured from me....
I'm glad your mum has such faith to guide her and I hope she is peaceful and pain free. You too, dear Maureen. I wish I could do something, but all I can do is send you my heartfelt best wishes and hugs.
Take care
Lindy xx
I'm glad your mum has such faith to guide her and I hope she is peaceful and pain free. You too, dear Maureen. I wish I could do something, but all I can do is send you my heartfelt best wishes and hugs.
Take care
Lindy xx
Quick update
Despite only being given hours or perhaps days, Mum is still with us after two weeks of EOL care. She is still bedbound, sleeping most of the time, but when she is awake, she is more alert. Saying that, she keeps asking me to pass messages on the her Mother.
She is drinking from her sipping cup and every other day will eat a bit of scrambled egg.
She has broken skin on her back and her feet and knees. I had a big shock today, having been unwell myself yesterday and missed visiting her, I went into her room and found her lying on her bed......STARK NAKED from the waist down. Luckily she had her legs down, usually she lies with her legs in the air, her bones and hips so arranged that her skinny knees cross. She had been checked only 10 mins earlier as shown on her log sheet. She had somehow, and God knows how, managed to take off her PJ bottoms, knicks, pad and the sheepskin velcro heel bootees.....she hates them.
After I recovered from the shock of seeing a whole new side of my Mother.....well as much as I can EVER recover from that sight we re-dressed her. She hates having bedclothes on, we manage to get a sheet on but her legs come up and she kicks her ankles until the sheet falls down.
I just cannot beging to imagine where she got the energy, let alone the ability, to remove these garments. she hasn't sat up for nearly 3 weeks.... her mind wanders, her fuel intake is negligble, she calls for her Mother to come for her.....and yet she clings on to life. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.
Despite only being given hours or perhaps days, Mum is still with us after two weeks of EOL care. She is still bedbound, sleeping most of the time, but when she is awake, she is more alert. Saying that, she keeps asking me to pass messages on the her Mother.
She is drinking from her sipping cup and every other day will eat a bit of scrambled egg.
She has broken skin on her back and her feet and knees. I had a big shock today, having been unwell myself yesterday and missed visiting her, I went into her room and found her lying on her bed......STARK NAKED from the waist down.
Luckily she had her legs down, usually she lies with her legs in the air, her bones and hips so arranged that her skinny knees cross. She had been checked only 10 mins earlier as shown on her log sheet. She had somehow, and God knows how, managed to take off her PJ bottoms, knicks, pad and the sheepskin velcro heel bootees.....she hates them. After I recovered from the shock of seeing a whole new side of my Mother.....well as much as I can EVER recover from that sight
we re-dressed her. She hates having bedclothes on, we manage to get a sheet on but her legs come up and she kicks her ankles until the sheet falls down.I just cannot beging to imagine where she got the energy, let alone the ability, to remove these garments. she hasn't sat up for nearly 3 weeks.... her mind wanders, her fuel intake is negligble, she calls for her Mother to come for her.....and yet she clings on to life. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.
How on earth did she manage to do that? My mums been bed bound for about a month now, is still eating a bit, but also draws her knees up and pulls the covers off. No idea why - she always says she's cold (it's one of the few things she can still clearly communicate). I hope she's comfortable and that you are holding out ok x
It is amazing where the strength can come from.
Your mother obviously has a strong will, Maureen.
The emotional toll this is taking of you must be enormous.
I hope everything remains peaceful for your mother.
Sending hugs and sympathy. x
Your mother obviously has a strong will, Maureen.
The emotional toll this is taking of you must be enormous.
I hope everything remains peaceful for your mother.
Sending hugs and sympathy. x
I've no idea where the strength comes from-but I've read about it so often on this Forum. I asked the same question Maureen, when Pete appeared to have surges of energy/strength. Adrenalin? was coursing through his body until the minute he passed-yet at times, like your little Mum, he could hardly open his eyes he was so frail.
I guess your Mum will go when she is ready-she appears to have a strong will to hold on at this time.I wonder if she is waiting for something/someone?
Like others I am very worried about you. You mentioned that you were ill one day-I hope the day you DIDN'T visit you managed to get some sleep. The pressure on you must be enormous and I admire your strength in keeping going-but think of yourself just a little bit won't you?
Love
Lyn T XX
I guess your Mum will go when she is ready-she appears to have a strong will to hold on at this time.I wonder if she is waiting for something/someone?
Like others I am very worried about you. You mentioned that you were ill one day-I hope the day you DIDN'T visit you managed to get some sleep. The pressure on you must be enormous and I admire your strength in keeping going-but think of yourself just a little bit won't you?
Love
Lyn T XX
A hard day's night
Thank you Lyn, I did sleep and felt better for it.
I promise I'm trying to pace myself.
Today has been a hard day, Mum has been agitated all day, crying ( and shouting) for her Mammy all the time. We got the Out of Hours Doctor out at lunchtime and she arranged for a script of Midazolam and Morphine which I picked up from the pharmacy. She'd given Mum a shot which settled her for about 2 hours. They'd called the nurse in again about 3, but by the time she got there Mum had settled down a bit. I left her about 6pm and came home, but I was needed again by 7:30 They'd given her another shot of Midazolam but that barely touched her so by 9 she got a third shot and some Morphine. I finally came home again about 10 pm.
I just hope that on Judgement Day..... ( and this is hedging my bets because I still am not entirely convinced) today's lies told by me to a dying woman will be forgiven....." She's at the shops....gone a message....on the tram"" No you can't take your PJs off it's bedtime" " The doctor said you have to keep them on" and my own favourite..." don't shout, you'll wake the baby" !!!!
I hoped she would slip away....looks like she's going to fight it all the way.
Poor Mum.x.x.
Thank you Lyn, I did sleep and felt better for it.
I promise I'm trying to pace myself.
Today has been a hard day, Mum has been agitated all day, crying ( and shouting) for her Mammy all the time. We got the Out of Hours Doctor out at lunchtime and she arranged for a script of Midazolam and Morphine which I picked up from the pharmacy. She'd given Mum a shot which settled her for about 2 hours. They'd called the nurse in again about 3, but by the time she got there Mum had settled down a bit. I left her about 6pm and came home, but I was needed again by 7:30 They'd given her another shot of Midazolam but that barely touched her so by 9 she got a third shot and some Morphine. I finally came home again about 10 pm.
I just hope that on Judgement Day..... ( and this is hedging my bets because I still am not entirely convinced
) today's lies told by me to a dying woman will be forgiven....." She's at the shops....gone a message....on the tram"" No you can't take your PJs off it's bedtime" " The doctor said you have to keep them on" and my own favourite..." don't shout, you'll wake the baby" !!!!I hoped she would slip away....looks like she's going to fight it all the way.
Poor Mum.x.x.
Thank you Carole, somehow I have stayed remarkably serene ( for me ) throughout this, Sadly this is not the first time I have been involved in an end of life caring. I do hope that others don't think me hard, but I am very much a practical, hands on person and I tend to bury the emotional me very deeply, which is how I have managed to cope so far.....or, as we used to say when my sister was dying...." just don't be nice to me.....I can cope as long as no one is nice to me"
) throughout this, Sadly this is not the first time I have been involved in an end of life caring. I do hope that others don't think me hard, but I am very much a practical, hands on person and I tend to bury the emotional me very deeply, which is how I have managed to cope so far.....or, as we used to say when my sister was dying...." just don't be nice to me.....I can cope as long as no one is nice to me" 
