Hi Rosie,
Mum spent 6 weeks in hospital last year, and was in there all over Christmas. We had spent many anxious hours on the phone late summer of last year taking phone calls from passers by, paramedics, neighbours as my Mother went from one issue to another, thinking she was having a heart attack, and on the third visit to hospital in 4 weeks she actually was, not eating properly, loosing weight, loosing things. Carers of 6 days had proved diabolical not making sure she was dressed, or watching her eat anything so that added to our cause as we had tried the carers at home route. Eventually she went in in November weighing 5st 13lbs with a D&V bug and her AD got worse while she was in there, only able to ask 3 questions on a continuous loop when we visited....1 How was your journey? 2. how are the children? 3. How was the traffic, before she went round them all again. It was draining....a 2 hour drive for an hours visit with the 3 same questions over and over again. When she became "stable", and I mean "stable" from a medical point of view (and even that was a small window as she had had a urine infection, a fall in hospital and a bleed on her brain) the hospital social people visited her. They knew they had to do something with her, and as a family we had made the ward staff very aware we didn't want her discharged home as we mentioned it every time we went in there. The SW assessed her as having "complex physical needs". We had already told the ward and her consultant that under NO circumstances should she be released back home, and frankly I think they saw that as she had been in 3 times August to September finally with a heart attack, then again November to just after Christmas, they knew if they sent her home, she would be back in again with weeks, and they didn't want that. We basically mentioned it every time we phoned the ward, every time we visited the ward and every time we spoke to her consultant. So we looked at homes near my sister, and found a nice one. We got a phone call from the Social Worker, (as she knew from the ward staff of our intentions) and did it all from there. In the end the ward tried to get rid of her very quickly, but we dug our heels in as we needed to get clothes into the hospital for her to make the journey in and so said NO, they would have to wait until we could get her a decent outfit to the hospital to travel in, or otherwise they would have just sent her off in the hospital gown. The SW was supportive of this. Also like you, we knew to put Mum in our car and to drive her to the home would be a no-go due to the stress it would cause everyone, and she trusted the medical staff, so we asked them to organise it. We thought she would go by private ambulance, but she actually went by hospital car. But even the night before she left the hospital we were phoned up and asked to pay for the private ambulance!!! We actually refused point blank and said you need the bed, you pay for it. And she was being moved from one NHS authority to another anyway, she wasn't a private patient. The SW said we shouldn't have been asked to pay. Even then when she turned up at the care home the hospital didn't even send her with any medication and the manager had to get the locum GP to organise an emergency prescription. So, long story short, it was easier for Mum not to go home from hospital but straight to the home, that way she just thought it was another branch of the same thing, and she had been institutionalised for so long in hospital, that made things slightly easier. I think you need to speak to the SW as it is in everyone's interest if she moves to a home near you, and they are the people who know how to make this happen especially if it is between local authorities. We didn't have the Welfare POA but this was never an issue because everyone at the hospital knew that full time care was the safest option for Mum. The solicitor said when we did the financial POA that it boiled down to the fact that if Mum was happy for medics to make decisions on her medical care, then there was no need for the Welfare one, and if as a family we were happy for the medics to make decisions that were in Mum's best interests then again the welfare one wouldn't be much use. It would only be useful if we had specific medical views (like on religious grounds that may conflict with a Dr's viewpoint). Mum had also done a DNR which they would take into account and the solicitor said that was good too as there would be no conflict of opinion should that come into play. Hope all that helps.