Hi,
I wanted to ask about people's experience of searching for residential care for relatives with dementia. It seems to me that if someone is not physically frail or in the later stages, it is very difficult to find good places that can care for them appropriately.
My mum has been struggling in the mid-stages of dementia for about 18 months now. My dad was caring for her but he died in 2002.
She still recognises people, she is capable of being very physically active (she's only 72) and she enjoys going out for walks, listening to music and generally being treated well - but she wouldn't be able to go out on her own and is not capable of 'self-starting' on any activity. Some days are worse and then she just doesn't respond much at all.
I arranged for live-in carers for my mum for nearly a year, but we had so many problems getting good ones - and they all needed time off which was difficult to arrange as she was quite isolated in the middle of the country, and I was 4 hours drive away. So, after much agonising, I decided that the only real option was to find a good residential home for her.
I saw about 20 homes. Some were just awful, some were nice but couldn't take her, some were OK but full of very frail people, some were full of people in the later stages of dementia. The one we found eventually is OK. It's a residential home with EMI beds - which is the thing that seems to be so rare. The staff are good, we can afford it, there is a garden and it's 25 minutes drive away for me. But I'm not really happy that she is getting enough stimulation, there are no dementia specialists there, it is rather cramped, I've had a few other worries and she says she doesn't like being there (of course she doesn't). So I've started looking around again - in a slightly different/wider area now.
My question is - does anyone have any tips on how to make this search easier? I'm just dreading going through the whole thing again.
And, if anyone has any experience of homes in the Bath and Bristol area or the South-West generally, I'd be really interested to hear (as a private message if you like).
Thanks!
I wanted to ask about people's experience of searching for residential care for relatives with dementia. It seems to me that if someone is not physically frail or in the later stages, it is very difficult to find good places that can care for them appropriately.
My mum has been struggling in the mid-stages of dementia for about 18 months now. My dad was caring for her but he died in 2002.
She still recognises people, she is capable of being very physically active (she's only 72) and she enjoys going out for walks, listening to music and generally being treated well - but she wouldn't be able to go out on her own and is not capable of 'self-starting' on any activity. Some days are worse and then she just doesn't respond much at all.
I arranged for live-in carers for my mum for nearly a year, but we had so many problems getting good ones - and they all needed time off which was difficult to arrange as she was quite isolated in the middle of the country, and I was 4 hours drive away. So, after much agonising, I decided that the only real option was to find a good residential home for her.
I saw about 20 homes. Some were just awful, some were nice but couldn't take her, some were OK but full of very frail people, some were full of people in the later stages of dementia. The one we found eventually is OK. It's a residential home with EMI beds - which is the thing that seems to be so rare. The staff are good, we can afford it, there is a garden and it's 25 minutes drive away for me. But I'm not really happy that she is getting enough stimulation, there are no dementia specialists there, it is rather cramped, I've had a few other worries and she says she doesn't like being there (of course she doesn't). So I've started looking around again - in a slightly different/wider area now.
My question is - does anyone have any tips on how to make this search easier? I'm just dreading going through the whole thing again.
And, if anyone has any experience of homes in the Bath and Bristol area or the South-West generally, I'd be really interested to hear (as a private message if you like).
Thanks!