Should i care for my Mum full time?

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
0
SW London
Elvismad, it's only a short distance to you, it must appear like a 100 miles to your mum. Get in touch with Alzheimer's society and find out what's available. Where I live there is Crossroads, the county family Carers, two villages have fully trained Carers available to help you and there is a transport service, How about a neighbour, maybe someone would walk mum to the lunch club.
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Yes, maybe some local retired person would help for a small fee? Might be worth asking around. Obviously you could not have just anybody, but might be worth a try - forgive me if you know this is just not possible.
 

opaline

Registered User
Nov 13, 2014
182
0
There are lots of charities that may be able to help such as Alzheimers Society, Crossroads and possibly local charities as well. If you contact your local Social Services they may be able to give you a list or try Yellow Pages or Google. Have you both had assessments by SS? I work full-time and my mum has a carer in the morning to make her breakfast and again at lunchtime to make her lunch. It breaks up her day and it's always someone coming in to check on her. As others have suggested there may even be a young mum lives locally that would be able to help out. Good luck.
 

elvismad

Registered User
Jan 8, 2012
289
0
Thank you for all your kind comments and suggestions. We have a befriender from age UK who is marvellous and visits most Sundays for an hour or so.she has also suggested visiting in the evening once a week to break things up a bit . Neither mum or me have had carers assessments but the gp is now more heavily involved as we have asked for his signature to confirm capacity on mums lpa. Strangely enough someone from mums lunch club did call for her today without me asking - such a relief!
 

elvismad

Registered User
Jan 8, 2012
289
0
To be honest I have had little help from AS. The groups are available its just the issue of getting mum there really.
 

Sue123

Registered User
Aug 30, 2014
32
0
Nottingham
Thank you all for the advice.
Giving up my job isnt something i would do in the next few weeks but i may have to leave soon as i have recently started seeing someone who lives in a different city to me. Looking at things longterm,If we were to live together (Mum as well obviously!) then i would have to leave work anyway.
My Sister also lives in the same area as my boyfriend so she would be close by if needed.
 

Sue123

Registered User
Aug 30, 2014
32
0
Nottingham
Yes they are. Its not something i would rush into but with my Sister being closer surely it would be a huge help with caring for my Mum. She always feels guilty for not visiting enough due to distance & work commitments.
 

VonVee

Registered User
Dec 15, 2014
69
0
Poole Dorset
Hi sailor John, I agree with you, it's really hard isn't it, I feel for you,

Hi sailor John, I agree with you, it's really hard isn't it, I feel for you, as its a hard decision to make, I'm in a similar situation and it's hard to understand what people like us are feeling and going through, but I do understand a little bit to what your feeling hon as I'm feeling a bit the same.
All the best, and if you ever want to blow off some steam, I'm always here to listen if you feel a need to rant.
Vonvee


Hi Sue 123, I have just joined the society, so i am probably less experienced than you in all this. I can only tell you of my experience. If you look under the post by sailorjon77, you will see my own situation. I am retired, my wife is semiretired, so I do have time to look after Mum. However we have only had her in the home since november and the disruption has been quite considerable. We both are very outgoing people, and this has been the hardest hit. Personally I feel quite stir crazy! To get to the point though, it was my decision to have Mum with us as I felt such a responsibility. My wife went along with it ,but it is very hard on her.I think I may have made the wrong decision, but will have to stick with it for the near future.Think carefully about what you do. I was advised by the social services to consider a care home, but dismissed it. I am told that in the long run, most adapt to the care home life better than expected. Also ,if you give up your working life, the fall in income will be an added stress. If you fall ill yourself, you both suffer. Every case if different, so get good professional advice.
I wish you best for the future, keep in touch, S/J
 

Kobiandmillie

Registered User
Jan 4, 2014
36
0
Cpn meeting in mums tmw

Hi there I don't post very much but do read quite a lot my mum has vascular dementia and we have a cpn meeting tmw which was arranged by the memory clinic and I don't know what to expect can anyone advise pls x
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London
Hi there I don't post very much but do read quite a lot my mum has vascular dementia and we have a cpn meeting tmw which was arranged by the memory clinic and I don't know what to expect can anyone advise pls x

It would be better to start your own thread asking this so people can find your question.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Its not that its in the wrong place K&M, its that people may not find it and therefore you wont get many responses.
Me? Im afraid I dont know, we never had a meeting with CPN.

edit to say that I see that you have started your own thread :)
 
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