Going on alone

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,443
0
Kent
That sounds nasty Sue.

When I started to read about stepping on the rake, I thought the stave had come up and hit you in the face. That would have been bad enough but a prong going through your foot made my stomach turn over.

I do hope it will heal and no infection will set in.
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,117
0
Scotland
Oh that sounds nasty, Sue, and so painful pulling the rake out. Glad you got the tetanus jag and antibiotics, and I do hope that by looking after yourself your foot soon heals.

But it is hard being your own carer when you live alone. Not that I’d want fussed over, and in some respects prefer to be on my own at such times. It is the quiet house, the emptiness of it, that gets to me. I still find myself turning to Henry’s chair to say something.

Thinking of you and sending a gentle warm hug

Love

Loo xxx
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,242
0
Cotswolds
Ouch!! :eek:

That sounds horrid, and all the worse for not having anyone immediately at hand to help. I do hope your foot heals soon, Sue.....and that you can perhaps get some pleasure from the enforced rest :)

All the best

Lindy xx
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
I think the worse part was sitting on the ground wondering who there is to help. Got to help yourself. Pulled the foot off the spike, limped down to the house. Cried a lot of course. Then find some disinfectant. The salt water bath was my daughter-in-laws idea as was the visit to the doctor. A tetanus shot was imperative.

Now all I can do is rest it and hope it heals. Small periods of walking around, long periods of sitting with it up on a pillow. No driving until the swelling goes down, too dangerous as it is my right foot. Yes, enforced rest is the answer. I usually heal well so hopefully will this time too. It is still much too swollen to fit a shoe on.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
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74
Durham
Sue I hope it heals soon it sounds nasty, I am pleased you had a tetanus shot or it could have been worse,
 

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
801
0
Buckinghamshire
Oh dear ...

Too many 'rake jokes' - not funny when it happens to you, though. I hope you feel better soon.

Re. pastoral care, though: does anyone at your church know about your accident and enforced house rest? Are you able to stay in touch with people by phone? Don't hesitate to get in touch with others and ask for help (or company) if you feel lonely. Sometimes, a little 'prod' is needed, as everyone is so busy these days. Most people enjoy being needed, and perhaps just a short shopping list for fresh groceries would bring someone round to brighten your day.

At least TP is always on tap.
Best wishes. C.x
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
My foot is still swollen, I can walk on it slowly but not for long. I look after the three grandchildren for the next four nights so there is company for me. Two women from the church did phone me but I told them I would manage okay. I like to be independent but do coll for help if I really need it. So will keep the foot up when I rest between rounds with the kids...lol.
 

grouse

Registered User
Nov 11, 2013
86
0
oh my goodness Sue, I hope you managed the grandchildren all right with your foot so sore!

but am sure you enjoyed their company too.

is it feeling any better by now?
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
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East Coast of Australia
Still have pain in my foot at night after a long day of being upright. The holidays went well and now all the grandchildren have gone back to school. I have the meeting season starting next week and hope to avoid being Secretary or President of anything for this coming year. I have a full schedule with the things I agreed to take on last year, when I was desperate to be busy to keep the loneliness at bay.

Sometimes it is easy to think you can do so much more than you are comfortable with and then you burn out. Loneliness still figures large in my life but I have to learn to live alone and be independent. It is not easy but I am getting there.
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,790
0
Hertfordshire
Glad you managed the grandchildren. I try to have some reason to go out most days.

Conversation is important to me.

What clubs are you involved with
.
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
I belong to a Lions Club, an Apex40 Club (Apex is a young man's service organisation, Apex40 is for oldies) various groups at the church and still one of the Dementia Groups I joined when Mum was alive. All of these groups have been great support ot me through my bereavement.

I have dropped a couple of others as my life got too full. I think I would prefer to do some things that didn't involve too much organisation now as i want to free some of my time for less serious pursuits.
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
Even after two years and four months sometimes I just feel so lost. It is like the future is blank and today is all that I will get so I get out of bed and start into whatever I need to do today. I always say I hate housework and that is the truth but the fact that I HAVE it to do is often what saves me as I just start with the obvious, meals, dishes, laundry etc and that day goes by and the next one may be better.

Of course I do keep as busy as I can but sometimes feel as if it is "fake it till you make it" all the time rather than what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know life will change but that does seem a long time coming. Let's hope it is a change for the better eh?.
 
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sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
I am aware that it is me that has to change not my circumstances. I have a friend helping me with that. He is an email friend and just recently has been answering my emails fairly promptly. One thing he says is :"you have no-one to please now but yourself" and I know he is right. i am so used to looking to others for approval of what I was doing with the caring role that I do forget that the decisions are now mine and a few risks and a few mistakes here and there will not bring tragedy.

I guess I just don't know how to handle freedom. I have made a few new decisions and will make more as I go along. I am coming back to England at the end of June just for five weeks so will see how that goes. Hoping to catch up with cousins again. We are all getting older so it is nice to catch up and know they are all okay. It will also break up winter for me which is a bonus. I would like to find a companion and do some travelling within Australia but maybe not quite ready to be that cheerful companion myself so will put that on hold for now. I am looking after a few older ladies as part of my church duties so still in a way involved in the caring role. Nice I can continue to go to the nursing homes etc for pastoral visits and still feel welcome. I feel as if I am among friends.
 
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grouse

Registered User
Nov 11, 2013
86
0
It does sound as though you are moving in the right direction Sue, even if it feels like one step forward and two steps back.

I wish you all the best with it and I hope you enjoy your forthcoming holiday x
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,117
0
Scotland
Catching up with you Sue. Good to see a post from you.

Of course I do keep as busy as I can but sometimes feel as if it is "fake it till you make it" all the time rather than what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know life will change but that does seem a long time coming. Let's hope it is a change for the better eh?.
Hard to grasp you wrote that just over two months ago, time passes so quickly. In some respects….. I do hope that as life does gradually change for you that it will be a change for the better as you begin to learn "how to handle freedom" of only yourself to please. It takes time after always having put others first. It takes time - if ever - learning how to live with your other half no longer a part of your life.

Not long until you come back to England again, you will enjoy catching up with your cousins and I’m guessing you will miss the worst of the Australian winter.

My daughter will be in Australia (Melbourne, Victoria) about the same time you will be here. She leaves Scotland 6th July, returns 3 August. Her first time to Australia. My grand-daughter’s first baby is due 12 June.

She said July will probably be a great summer weather month in the UK! Her loss will be your gain! :)

Thinking of you.
Loo xx
 
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sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
I think I just post now when I am a bit down. We have just survived a long period of really bad weather. Now the sun is shining at last and we are all starting the clean-up. I was lucky I had minimal damage. What I am finding is I miss someone to work alongside me. I miss the quiet conversation, the hands at the other end of something I have to lift, the offer of a cuppa. I know I have not had that sort of support for many years but somehow I still miss it.

I have not found a companion as yet. I have a lot of pleasant older acquaintances but there is no-one special in my life right now. My contemporaries are all getting ready to go north for the winter or planning off shore trips. It is what people do when they are retired. I have my winter trip to England to plan but it is still in the planning stage and nothing seems to be falling into place as yet.

Even though we do not have snow winter is a season that shuts us all in with our thoughts and mine seem to be about loneliness and the uncertainty of life. Mother's Day this coming weekend and home alone as usual. Bah Humbug!
 

CeliaW

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
5,643
0
Hampshire
Just wanted to say hello. How long until your trip to England? I always struggle with getting the different seasons sorted in my mind. I have lived alone for a long time and was a distant (geographically) carer for my Mum who is now in a CH and deteriorating, sadly. But I think I still understand how big a gap there must be when you are doing so much alone after sharing for so many years. Hugs xx
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
I am not on here a lot now. Life goes on. I have a routine, events that are added, ones that are ad hoc I can manage now. I guess that comes from my caring years. I keep busy, doing churchwork and charity work. There always seems to be something to do.

My sorrow and sadness seems to be diminishing although a storm of tears can come out of nowhere still. I guess my life is starting to settle down into some kind of normal. I am a widow, I enjoy my work in the church and the community. I have enough friends to have people to call on if I need conversation, on te phone or in person.

I follow a few threads here, read a lot and empathise with so many. Being a carer is a tough life, we grow stronger through the journey. It seems as if life just seems to go on and we go on as best we can.

Hope all who read this have a good day today as I intend to do.

Sue.
 

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