Thinking of you and Fred, dear Truth - I am in a very dark place at the moment but my thoughts often stray to those who have travelled and are still travelling this horrible road.
WIFE
WIFE
Fred
- Thread starter truth24
- Start date
Dear WIFE. Have posted on your thread and can see how you are suffering. Wish there was something physical I could do to help but can only send my love. Verityxx
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
How are you today Verity? i am following you round the other threads as usual and wondering how you are feeling. X Love Shelagh
Thanks Shelagh. I'm fine. Can't believe how happy Fred is at the moment. 3 lovely visits in the last few days. WOW. He is back in Summer Lounge now. Tanya, his house mother, insisted and I am really grateful that she has taken him under her wing like this. So bye bye Autumn for the moment, although I gather he had breakfast there this morning and spent yesterday in another lounge, Spring. So he does the rounds. They all seem pleased to have him. I gather that he is good company when he is not being grumpy!! Wish he would allow them to shave him tho as he is now very hairy but they say he won't let them and they try to avoid upsetting him. It seems that the electric razor was a waste of time as he doesn't like the noise
Hope things are well with you and that you are nearly ready to go now. Also that the weather is kind. We had a gorgeous sunrise this morning but pouring with rain now. Love. Verityxx
Sent from my GT-N5110
Hope things are well with you and that you are nearly ready to go now. Also that the weather is kind. We had a gorgeous sunrise this morning but pouring with rain now. Love. Verityxx
Sent from my GT-N5110
Luverley photo Verity. Thank you. We had pink fluffy clouds too, followed by rain yesterday. It was granddaughter day, so I was near Haywards Heath and it fell down at school out time - what a surprise. I looked like a drowned rat, but she was still pleased to see me. Thrilled for you that Fred is so happy and obviously enjoying the stimulation of all the "houses" and making full use of every one by the sound of it! G is very tired all of the time and falls asleep at the drop of a hat. His mood therefore is volatile and I should think our neighbours won't miss the shouting while we are away! The vivid dreams he has make him feel as though he hasn't slept, but only plague him at night. Daytime sleep is uneventful! A sort of sundowning problem I think. Hope your day is peaceful and rewarding with and without your man. X Love and a hug as always. Shelagh
Truth24 so nice to read your posts about Fred and how settled he seems to be in his CH. I hope if and when the time comes I'm able to find somewhere equally nice for B. We had a beautiful sunrise yesterday too but today it is pouring 
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Shelagh. What were you doing posting at that time of the morning? Another of your husband's horrible dreams? So sorry to hear of these. They are so distressing for you both. Please try and get some rest today. Loving thoughts. Verityxx
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
Bit of pattern just at the moment I'm afraid Verity. I just go with it and hope I won't conk out too soon later in the day. I could do without the likely falling asleep in front of the TV however. We have so many 'part watched' programmes, I'll never find out how whatever it is ends!
Thankfully his dreams do not wake G. Do I mean that? Perhaps it would be better if he was waking up. He just complains that he has been "dreaming all night" and says they are horrible, but can't say what any of them are about. So I'm at a bit of a loss. I do think they could be a variation of sundowning in that he becomes agitated whilst asleep and not as the sun goes down like others who suffer from that? If that makes any sense? Anyway, it's the best answer I have right now. It will be interesting to see whether being away from home makes any difference. Hope all goes well with you. X Love Shelagh
Thankfully his dreams do not wake G. Do I mean that? Perhaps it would be better if he was waking up. He just complains that he has been "dreaming all night" and says they are horrible, but can't say what any of them are about. So I'm at a bit of a loss. I do think they could be a variation of sundowning in that he becomes agitated whilst asleep and not as the sun goes down like others who suffer from that? If that makes any sense? Anyway, it's the best answer I have right now. It will be interesting to see whether being away from home makes any difference. Hope all goes well with you. X Love Shelagh
That's why I record all the programmes I want to watch. Hope G does have more restful sleep when you are away. You too my lovely. Verityxx
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
Thought it was time I posted about Fred again. I just can't believe how affectionate he is being at the moment. He seems to be really contented and even let me cut his hair on Sunday. It was quite strange really on that morning as he seemed very happy when I went in. Was wandering around and greeted me with a smile. I suggested we went to his lounge for coffee and cakes (had been baking so that's probably why he greeted me with a smile!) and we were doing the short walk there when we passed one of the female residents. I don't know whether they touched in passing or what but she suddenly swore at him calling some very rude names (not her fault, she can't help it) but he deflated like a balloon and went to sit in a corner and refused to move! Took me nearly 15 mins of coaxing with the help of the manager and his house mother to persuade him to move into the lounge but when he had eaten a cake and had a drink he regained his good mood. Don't know whether he had felt like a child being told off or whether he was in shock as he had never had anyone say such things to him before but it was very strange and my heart went out to him.
Today he was reading a book with his friend and I went up behind him and gently tickled his ribs and kissed the top of his head and he turned round and said "Hello. Where have you been? Haven't seen you for a little while!" so we sat and read books with his friends and he was lovely. It makes so much difference when he is like this and the carers say he is lovely to them too. Perhaps it is because they have regular carers now they are assigned to their lounges and he feels safe and well cared for but long may it last. I am very conscious of my good fortune and don't take it for granted, just making the most of our time together while I can.
Sent from my GT-N5110
Today he was reading a book with his friend and I went up behind him and gently tickled his ribs and kissed the top of his head and he turned round and said "Hello. Where have you been? Haven't seen you for a little while!" so we sat and read books with his friends and he was lovely. It makes so much difference when he is like this and the carers say he is lovely to them too. Perhaps it is because they have regular carers now they are assigned to their lounges and he feels safe and well cared for but long may it last. I am very conscious of my good fortune and don't take it for granted, just making the most of our time together while I can.
Sent from my GT-N5110
I love your happy posts Verity. I'm glad that Fred is still in happy mode.Long may it last for the two of you.
Love
Lyn T XXXX
Love
Lyn T XXXX
Brought a tear to my eyes, Verity - thinking of you tickling Fred's ribs and kissing him on the head. How lovely for you - treasure the moments well.
How are things today Verity - hope Fred is still "behaving" and not being grumpy.
Loving thoughts WIFE
Loving thoughts WIFE
Mixed today. He was quite happy when I went in but, for some reason, the night carers who do his care before 7 am (assume he is up and wandering) have started putting his sweater directly on top of his vest. This infuriates me and his day carers, so grabbed a shirt from his room and took it to his lounge, then, of course, had to get his sweater off, put his shirt on and then sweater back on top. He finds this upsetting so his mood changed. He wasn't nasty but the spark had disappeared. I can only assume that they find his personal care/dressing him difficult so don't want to upset him more but have had a quiet word with the manager to see if the night staff can make sure he is properly dressed. His house mother puts on his shirt when needed but she was off duty today. I know it doesn't matter so long as he is happy but still want him to look good.
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
Yes Verity standards have to be maintained. I think if the little things aren't considered the big things start to slip-just my opinion. To the day he died Pete was always colour co-ordinated and looked as fresh as a daisy. I've no idea how the carers managed that
Unless the sweater is made of a very soft fabric I should imagine it's quite irritating to the skin with no shirt.
I hope Fred's happy mood is full on the next time you visit
Love,
Lyn T XX
Unless the sweater is made of a very soft fabric I should imagine it's quite irritating to the skin with no shirt.
I hope Fred's happy mood is full on the next time you visit
Love,
Lyn T XX
Thanks, Lyn. Knew you would understand. Have only seen it a couple of times just recently so don't know if there has been a change of night staff. Just hope they get the message.
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
I found the night staff at my husband's NH had to be watched so occasionally went in at 7.30 a.m. just before the change-over to day staff. Obviously the night staff are keen to get away on time so I think if a patient was awkward as well my husband could be they would leave personal care to the day staff so several times I arrived to find him un-washed, still in nightwear or worse, yesterday's clothes. Had finally to make a real fuss and then things changed for the better.
Just keep a weather eye on Fred's personal care and make that "fuss" if necessary. They are all that matters not whether the night staff get off on time or not.
Just keep a weather eye on Fred's personal care and make that "fuss" if necessary. They are all that matters not whether the night staff get off on time or not.
