Haven't been on for a while

[wendyweeble67]

Hello again. I haven't posted for a while but in need again for a listening ear. My mum has frontal lobe dementia and has been two years since her diagnosis . I moved her in with me to begin with but family politics and a young son with special needs meant I needed to find a placement where Mum could get more support than I could give her . Mum plodded along and for the past 6 months not much has changed. Then a week before Xmas she became aggressive and was put on mertazipine . She was already on risperidone . The mirtazipine didn't agree with her and made her worse so they stopped that and gave her trazedone which too didn't help so they have increased her risperidone. What I would like to ask is that Mum seemed to be slowly getting worse but the minute they played around with her meds she has gone downhill rapidly. So much so that she is double incontinent , unable to feed herself or even take a drink on her own. She has fallen over twice in the past ten days and smacked her face on a fence giving her a black eye and bruised cheek. Is this a natural decline that happens fast with FRontal lobe or could it be the medication ? Could anyone with frontal lobe experience please advise me . Am so so scared this is the beginning of the end.. Mum is hardly eating and walks hunched over at a snails pace shuffle . She doesn't talk very much and when she does it doesn't make much sense . She cries for her Mummy too and I don't know how to help her .
Thank you in advance sorry for waffle in tears as I write this . Heartbreaking to watch


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[Cathy*]

Wendy

I'm sorry I can't answer your question but have read your post and am thinking about you.

Cathy

x

 

[BabyBoomer]

Hi Wendy, so sorry to hear of your situation . When my mum was dying she used to call for her mum too. It hurt me like I can't say. I used to bend down to the bed and give her a hug or hold her hand and say " mums are the best aren't they?" She nodded and became quieter so I know she heard me, so perhaps entering her world helped xxxxx


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[halojones]

Hi Wendy, has your mum been checked for a UTI? my mum recently took a real downturn due to a UTI...You have obviously been caring really well for your mum, it is heartbreaking and upsetting that she has taken such a downward turn, you have my sympathy....I can only offer you empathy, hugs....xxx

 

[Di Lavers]

Hi Wendy, my mum is constantly after her mum or sister. Yesterday she was calling for Nanny, I asked her whose Nan and she said she wanted her Nan. Mum is 84. I told her that she was not here and then she got upset and told me that she was dead (actually died in 1939). I just sit and hold her hand or give her a hug. Breaks my heart that I am with her 24/7 and she doesn't have a clue who I am. I just like to help her as best I can. Xxx

 

[Spotty dotty]

Hi Wendy, it's been sometime since I've been on forum, my lovely mum is currently in respite, she's constantly going home to her mum & dad, doesn't matter where she was or is, we moved her in with us, but she was always waiting for her mum & dad to come for here, sometimes it was just dad she wanted to see, which we worked out that was my dad who pasted 10 years ago, but to mum he's still working at the garage, the crux of respite was she wondered out whilst I was at work she had never done that before, she was found waiting a the bus stop going to the garage to see dad, our Grandaughters became her babies, so she was constantly baby sitting and wouldn't go out and leave them. She been in residential care now for 2 weeks and she's slowly settling down, still waiting for her dad, always asking if I've seen him, it's all about reassuring and changing the subject, it won't get any better so we just go with it, it's just so sad, I'm grieving my mother as many of us are, but she's still with me.
Sometimes I don't have the words to explain feelings, takecare just continue to love and care for your mum the best you can.


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[Cathy*]

Hi Wendy, my mum is constantly after her mum or sister. Yesterday she was calling for Nanny, I asked her whose Nan and she said she wanted her Nan. Mum is 84. I told her that she was not here and then she got upset and told me that she was dead (actually died in 1939). I just sit and hold her hand or give her a hug. Breaks my heart that I am with her 24/7 and she doesn't have a clue who I am. I just like to help her as best I can. Xxx

Hi Di

I too looked after my mum 24/7. She used to tell visitors that I hadn't been to see her because I was too busy which broke my heart. The only consolation was that she called me her guardian angel who always appeared when she needed anything so I know she was happy. Your mum will feel that you love her. She often called me Mum, which I answered to, and bizarrely '21'. We never did get to the bottom of that one. I made the mistake early on of telling her that her dad was dead (not that bluntly obviously) she was as upset as though it had just happened and was cross with me so after that I used to change the subject, which wasn't difficult.

Love

 

[wendyweeble67]

Thank you all for your replies . Mum has been checked for a uti and all clear. She is leaning to the side today and can't stand up straight anymore . I can only presume it's something to do with her frontal lobes . I guess I need to get my head around the fact that Mum is only going to get worse . I keep half expecting her to be a little better each time I go to visit . Wishful thinking xx


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[ppjm]

Hey Wendy

It's my first time back on this forum for a long while and I have just seen your post.

How is your Mum doing? Any better?

My Mum is 65 and was diagnosed with Frontal Lobe dementia 2 years ago. She is not on any medication but her symptoms are definitely getting worse. I think Mum has possibly had FTD for 3-4 years so I daren't think what "stage" she is at

Your post really rang true for me Wendy as my Mum's deterioration has been shockingly progressive since Christmas just gone. She just seems to have gone downhill so quickly

Mum can still manage her "personal" stuff such as the loo, dressing and putting makeup on but has lost interest in eating (unless it's something sweet!), cleaning and cooking and she has become quite aggressive. The polar opposite to the Mum I once knew and loved. Mum hardly has any speech left at all but can say "SHUT" meaning shut up when she gets annoyed. It's hard to watch.

So, she is still at home, living with my Step Dad but he is shattered

I guess I just wanted to say hello and to let you know that I am happy to chat if you need to.

xx