Hi new to the forum. My dad was diagnosed with dementia last year and placed in the mental health unit part of the hospital, from there we found him a lovely care home. We could not wish for such lovely kind staff. My dad was totally incontinent and didn't speak but was able to feed himself, sit up in a chair and showed some facial expressions when we spoke to him. Sadly just before christmas my dad had a very bad bleed on the brain and was rushed to hospital, they said it caused a stroke on the left side. What little movement he had and facial expressions have all gone. He has been left unable to do nothing he is now just laying in bed. We have been told he is in the last stages the bleed was a massive one, they can not give him any food or water as this will either make him choke or go to the lungs. My dad has morphine going into the top of his leg a machine administers it automatically so he is in no pain. His left hand has blisters on now and the right hand is going a mauve/blue. He just stares into space, I don't even know if he can hear me when I talk to him. Its now been 16 days I keep asking how can someone last without food or water for so long, It hurts so much to see my dad like this, I sat there today and told him I loved him loads and it was ok to go, I was looking after mum and she will be ok. We are just waiting now for the end, just been a very sad start to the new year.
My dad is in the last stages of dementia
- Thread starter millymops
- Start date
Millypops I'm thinking of you. I went through exactly this with my mum. She had the morphine pump for just over 3 weeks. I played her favourite music to her and spoke to her saying exactly the things you are saying to your dad. Please don't hurt. Your dad isn't in pain anymore. When my mum did pass away I was with her, it was very peaceful and we were all prepared for it. Love
Cathy
x
So very sorry to hear about your poor dad. Thinking of you and your mum and hoping dad is at peace soon. Take care.
Really feel for you Millypops as we went through this with our Dad.
We did the same as Cathy, put his favourite music on and just made him as comfortable and pain free as possible. We chatted to him all the time while we cleaned his room (must have been the cleanest room ever) and sometimes we did get a reaction which surprised us. A squeeze of the hand and a tear. We were so strong in that room but wept buckets when we left. Make the most of your time with your Dad and I hope his final journey will be a painless one surrounded with love.
Thinking of you
Luv
Polly x
We did the same as Cathy, put his favourite music on and just made him as comfortable and pain free as possible. We chatted to him all the time while we cleaned his room (must have been the cleanest room ever) and sometimes we did get a reaction which surprised us. A squeeze of the hand and a tear. We were so strong in that room but wept buckets when we left. Make the most of your time with your Dad and I hope his final journey will be a painless one surrounded with love.
Thinking of you
Luv
Polly x
I'm so sorry Millypops. You are doing the right thing by telling your Dad that you will look after your Mum and it's ok to go.
Please look after yourself as well as your Mum.
Love
Lyn T XX
Please look after yourself as well as your Mum.
Love
Lyn T XX
Well its now been 19 days since my dad was taken ill, the care home have had a doctor round and all he has said is to keep dad comfortable and pain free. I just cant understand how someone can go so long with out food or water. My dad is just laying there looking out to space, his fingers are mauve and one has blisters on the fingers. The care nurses move dad every 1 to 2 hours to save getting bed sores and use a sponge to make sure dads lips are moist. Its just so hard, every time my phone goes off I jump and fear for the worst.
