Is it time to put dad into care?

Pitcher15

Registered User
Dec 23, 2012
22
0
Bridport, dorset
So last Sunday we had a day of it in our house! Dad had 2 fall and wet himself twice so on Monday I called the doc out to see if anything, other than the alzheimers, was wrong. She said he had a chest infection and gave us some antibiotics. Dad has wet himself everyday since, and has now finished the antibiotics he continues to wet himself. He hasn't had any accidents like this before but I understand him being ill could have brought it on. My main worry is that he still continues to wet himself now. I always said from the start that it was time to consider care homes when it comes to toilet trouble, as a girl of 24 I personally don't want to deal with it, and my dad doesn't want me to deal with it either, it's embarrasing for him. He also refuses baths, showers and any kind of wash, which makes him smell. I'm starting to think it may be time. I feel awful, even considering it though and go through phases of thinking that I can't possibly do it. But caring for dad aswell as having 2 jobs is killing me, I'm always worried and anxious and I'm starting to think it may be the best thing.
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
0
Sympathies. Try calling the GP again as the urine infection may not be better. Mum's last one required two lots of antibiotics.
Have you tried pull up pants, I mean the incontinence kind? Mum gets them from the incontinence nurse, they are free for her, not everywhere but it's worth a try.

I would be right with you in the idea that you don't want to deal with incontinence, have you looked at any care homes around you?
 

Pitcher15

Registered User
Dec 23, 2012
22
0
Bridport, dorset
Thanks for your help, will be calling the nurses and the gp tomorrow, his incontence is slightly better now, it's mainly at bed time but he's really not right in himself as he decided to wander out the house last night, he's never done it before, had us all in a right state as we live next to a main road but we found him. I'm thinking the infection hasn't cleared at all and is making him worse than he is. Thanks again
 

RobinH

Registered User
Apr 9, 2012
264
0
London
Hi Pitcher15

There are 2 lives to consider here – your dad’s and yours. You are 24, and should be having a whale of a time. If you’re carrying this all on your shoulders, perhaps it is time to consider Residential Care. It will happen soon anyhow, and probably too late, so think about it now. Remember Social Services think they’re in luck – all the caring you do for free saves them hundreds of pounds a week. But you are entitled to a happy life, like I hope your dad had, so tell them you can’t do it any more, and they need to find him a place somewhere.

Good Luck

Robin
 

halojones

Registered User
May 7, 2014
438
0
I have made the decision that once mum deteriorates in the toileting department ,then I will be getting her looked after in a CH, its too much for you, as you say your dad doesn't want you doing his personal care, and you are too young....For now, could you get a male carer to come and get your dad cleaned/showered?I would hope that your dad would be pleased to get cleaned up...check for a UTI again...Once your dad is in a CH you will be able to see him and have good quality time together without the horrible sides of this illness..well done you have done really well so far..you are a lovely daughter to your dad....xxx
 

susy

Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
801
0
North East
Do you have anyone coming in to help out? I'm thinking a carer visit on a regular basis to get him cleaned up. I also would recommend pully up pants. We buy ours from a massive chemist chain (can't put the name on here). Also the antibiotics may well have not been affective so definitely another to the GP would be a good plan too.