What`s happening

[catbells]

Mum in dementia unit. There is a bug around, but only affecting residents as diarrhoea, but Mum has been sick since Saturday lunchtime. She was sick straight after eating (she has pureed mains) choc custard with choc cake, mashed up) it all came back straight away, she was sick throughout the evening and night. Yesterday no sickness just sleeping. I rang in again this morning, she had been sick again and has not taken hardly any breakfast. She is sleeping. They are managing to keep her thicken drink in. There has not been any bowel movement since Saturday. Home had to cancel a Christmas Party yesterday due to the diarrhea outbreak both in the residential unit and a few in the dementia unit.
Could this be the start of the end? she only just got over another sickness bug a few months ago, then chest infections were going around, and now this. She has a strong constitution as most of them do, but now I`m very worried. I haven`t looked forward to Chrstimas for years and its my birthday on New Years Day - like many others this time of year is terrible, now this illness is compounding the emotions. Visitors not allowed in at the moment, I understand this and am happy with that. I visit her daily to assist feeding her. Keepping busy with food preparations and present wrapping for a family meal on Boxing Day.
Heather x

 

[Kevinl]

The same thing is doing the rounds at my local sheltered housing bungalows, no visitors, masks and rubber gloves on all the extra staff they've had to draft in to cope.
It's probably the weakened immune system and living in close quarters with so many other people that makes outbreaks like this happen so much more frequently in care homes. I hope your Mum gets better soon.
K

 

[halojones]

Hi catbells, I do hope your mum and all the other residents get better soon...it must be awful for everyone too have a sickness bug, and what a worry for you....you are obviously doing your best, we can just be there as much as we can....I hope you can find a little bit of peace, xmas can be such a difficult time ....Best Wishes for your birthday xxx

 

[catbells]

Thank you Kevin1 and Halojones. Rang in this afternoon, she managed a little lunch, slept well then they tried some tea, but it went straight through her, diarrhoea, first bowel movement since Saturday. They bathed her and put her to bed. We wait. my phone is always on at night by my bedside, waiting. To me this is more worrying. it is three days now and no sign of a halt.
I`ll keep you posted.
God bless and thank you
heather x

 

[angecmc]

Sorry to hear how sick your Mum is, such a worry for you, I too keep phone by bed, sometimes I think it has rung when it hasn't, must be dreaming, it puts me on edge then as I expect bad news. Hope there is improvement today for you xx

Ange

 

[catbells]

Mum appears to be recovering

What a relief! I`m like an elastic band, tightens up to full stretch then released. Today she has taken a little of her pureed food and is taking in a lot of her thicken drink. Good sign. She looks drained, 4 days of sickness and diarrhoea almost now 24hrs since the last episode. Visited her for 10min today and took flowers for her. So tired she could hardly look at the flowers, never mind. I`ll be popping in again tomorrow morning with her treats.
Thank you for your thoughts. Yes it is a relief, but yet at the back of my mind, I think one day she won`t recover and I`ve still this to face. Pecker up again to enjoy the festive period with my family, recharge my batteries for what`s to come in 2015.
Take care
God bless
Heather x

 

[catbells]

Now Pressure ulcer to worry about

.....and the rollercoaster continues. Mum eating well again following sickness etc as described in my previous post, but now something more serious I think. Carers and I noticed last week that her right ankle appeared to have a burst blister/wound, didn`t look to bad just like a burst blister, however, district nurses were asked to check when visiting the home and say its a pressure ulcer they think its now at stage 3. Its nasty and despite having antibiotics since 27th Dec no improvement in fact the ulcer is seeping more so that the district nurse was called in again today (dressing changed yesterday) to change the dressing. The care home acted quickly, they had a spare hospital bed with correct pressure mattress. She now has an inflatable boot to protect the area. She sleeps on her right side, which we suspect has casued the ulcer as she is no longer moving much in her sleep. Her right foot is red and swollen. She is now turned every 2 hours at night and has bed rest after lunch, as she is so tired/weak/poorly. Still eating, but the effort is tiring for her. Today I feel she is certainly not improving. I visit her daily and we have always been very tactile, hugs and kisses. She has been on pureed food since Dec 2013 and now needs help so I visit at lunch time to feed her. I feel I`m contirbuting to her care. With my arm around her, she usually tucks her head into my shoulder, as babies do, and have lunch, today she kept putting her hand onto my face and wouldn`t let it go. Oh my dearest Mum, I`m terrified of losing her, but know its coming, and this latest development is frightening not just for me but the pain she may be in.I wish it was all over for her, so she isnt sufferring. Tears flow yet again. i`ve been so strong over the Christmas period even on my birthday, New Years Day, but I`m collapsing. This has been going on for years, worry about her changed behaviour/having to put her into a care home for her safety-yes made the right decision, she hasn`t recognised me for 2 years now, words vanished about 6 months ago, she manages a smile and a giggle when anyone talks to her, but I know deep down she knows I`m special. I think I will be asking for a doctor to call on Monday if there`s no improvment, the antibiotics appearing not be helping with the healing of this ulcer. This is our first experience of pressure ulcers and don`t know what to expect, I do know that infection is dangerous if not controlled and fear this could be the start of end. I believe that there is an after life and I hope and pray nature takes its course and she has no recollection of her own suffering. Please God
Heather

 

[Kevinl]

Well Heather, I've read some stuff on here and what you've just posted had tears running down my face. If there is a God the bless you, if not then a Thank-you from me for posting it is as good as it gets (which is a pretty poor substitute).
Stay strong
K

 

[catbells]

Called to the CH this mroning. Mum very sleepy. Doctor called. He felt she is exhausted fighting the infection. Checked if DNR was in place. Didn`t want to send her to hospital afterall what could they do. Her obs are surprisingly ok Doctor said, so she may well get through this,. Sat with her for a few hours, she took her thickened liquid drink but very little pureed food, even though I gave her half teaspoons, this irritated her, coughing starting. Ive just nipped out for a break then I`ll go back for an hour, I don`t expect any change today She can hardly keep her eyes open she is so weak, but we sat holding hands. Both calm. Maybe a few days in bed will help, but half of me wants her suffering to end, however nature will take its course. I`ll keep you posted.
thank you Kevinl for your words
Heather x

 

[BabyBoomer]

God bless cat bells, hope things improve for you both xx


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[chrisdee]

Moving through the stages

I'd appreciate some feedback from more experienced heads-or is it hands? than mine.
I posted in Nov about Mum settling in ch and tactics for getting through Christmas. Christmas was ok, Mum knew it was Xmas day, but fortunately, did not seem to expect to be taken anywhere, eg probably my house. I visited a few days after brother, and Mum even said 'its nice in here isn't it?' giving us hope that she was settling in ch, previously very 'against' and had to be taken in against wishes,approx 14 weeks ago. She has been severely confused recently, going back in time to when we were children at home etc. and of course we know to expect this. Also coming up with fanciful statements eg 'How's the new baby?' so we thought she may be moving into the later stages,calm but confused, after months of agitation in her own home, hence move to ch. Today, back to agitation and crying, 'I don't like it here, can I come home?' So my question is really, have others found this continuous swing about between what we might regard as 'stages' before some sort of settling? I suppose really, I am just waiting for the agitation to go and Mum to have a sort of peacefulness, maybe this is an impossibility given the very unpredictability of this horrible disease?

 

[chick1962]

Called to the CH this mroning. Mum very sleepy. Doctor called. He felt she is exhausted fighting the infection. Checked if DNR was in place. Didn`t want to send her to hospital afterall what could they do. Her obs are surprisingly ok Doctor said, so she may well get through this,. Sat with her for a few hours, she took her thickened liquid drink but very little pureed food, even though I gave her half teaspoons, this irritated her, coughing starting. Ive just nipped out for a break then I`ll go back for an hour, I don`t expect any change today She can hardly keep her eyes open she is so weak, but we sat holding hands. Both calm. Maybe a few days in bed will help, but half of me wants her suffering to end, however nature will take its course. I`ll keep you posted.
thank you Kevinl for your words
Heather x

Hi Catbells my heart goes out to you .Its so terribly upsetting but like Kevini said earlier , stay strong. thinking of you and sending hugs xxx

 

[catbells]

No change with Mum tonight. She is still very weak. Although I can read lots more into her present condition, but I feel she is struggling with "shoud I stay" or "should I go". She caressed by face again today, as if saying goodbye, but knowing Mum she will be not want to leave me and will fight this through. I have no feelings either way tonight so emotionally exhausted tonight. Don`t know which way this will go. Many thanks for your thoughts tonight. We`ll see what tonight and tomorrow brings.

I appreciate most sincerely eveyones thoughts and prayers tonight.
God Bless
Heather xxxx

 

[chick1962]

Hello Heather how are things? Have been thinking about you love Heike x


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[halojones]

Heather, you have my sympathy, it must be awful for you and your mum..Your love and care for her is shining out, what a huge comfort you are for your poor mum, and of course she knows it is her daughter holding her hand and comforting her....My mum is deteriating on a daily basis and I am okay on the outside, but am totally panicking on the inside....what more can we do, except just love and care....Thinking of you both at this difficult time....xxx

 

[catbells]

Mum has battled through the infection from the stage 3 pressure ulcer, but it has left her desperately tired. (She had two doses of sickness and dia previously. )I drew up a care plan for her recovery to help the careres as I felt they were rushing her too much. One day in bed all day sleeping not accepting food, then next day perked up, they`ve got her in a chair dressed and out in the lounge for a good 6 hrs, next day, in bed all day refusing food etc. So they are now following my plan to aid her recovery- however that leaves her, certainly not the same as she was a few weeks ago. Up for breakfast, nightie & dressing gown, not left sitting for more that 2 hrs, then back to bed/up for lunch etc/bed/up for tea. She sleeps during the morning and in the afternoon, her body language telling us what it needs. Also I`ve halved her food intake and asked they slowly build it up. (I`m there everyday to feed her, so have control) the plan after 2 days appears to be working, although as I say its going to take a long time and I suspect her mobility has gone now. We always have a big drop/scare about November time, and its happened again. She is beginning to smile and giggle again, so she isn`t in pain. Antibiotics course finished, so wait to see how the ulcer heals. The carers and manager have been working with me on my suggested plan. I appreciate they need to keep a positive outlook and have much experience of dementia etc, but its still down to the individual needs. In fact they say its good to see a relative so pro-active, instead of leaving them to take all the responsibility. My gut feeling is that she will now continue with bed morning and afternoon sleep or eventually become bedridden and slipping away during one of her sleeps very shortly. My hubby felt my care plan was very specific/detailed, but my reply was that I have to think of Mum first and not the reaction of the carers, it had to be done. I balanced it with flowers in the lounges as a thank you to the staff and we are all on friendly basis having visited every day for the past 3 years. Maybe too the carers have learnt from us too
Love and thoughts to all those walking the same path
Heather x

 

[cragmaid]

This is terrific, well done you. I really hope this works well for you all.x.x.

 

[catbells]

Thank you Cragmaid. My plan appears to be working, Mum condition stablising. She is eating better,(still building up the intake) sleeping well on her morning and afternoon bed rests. Her smiles and giggles have returned.The ulcer has calmed down.She is perky for about an hour then tiredness takes over. I don`t really expect much more improvement now, but if she remains like this I`m happy for her. Fingers crossed she doesn`t contract another infection or bug.
Bye for now
Thank you again, Thoughts are with all
Heather x

 

[count2ten]

Thank you Cragmaid. My plan appears to be working, Mum condition stablising. She is eating better,(still building up the intake) sleeping well on her morning and afternoon bed rests. Her smiles and giggles have returned.The ulcer has calmed down.She is perky for about an hour then tiredness takes over. I don`t really expect much more improvement now, but if she remains like this I`m happy for her. Fingers crossed she doesn`t contract another infection or bug.
Bye for now
Thank you again, Thoughts are with all
Heather x

Just reading through all your posts, my heart goes out to you and your mum - you must both be exhausted. Even if your mum doesn;t recognise you she responds to how she feels and just being with you gives her comfort and peace of mind, and is probably the one thing that has made such a difference and pulled her through the latest set back. The care plan was absolutely the right thing to do - we did this for my mum's home carers and it made a lot of sense because there were things that as family we just take for granted but not so obvious for carers and other people who have contact with our loved ones when we are not there to speak for them. All my best wishes and prayers winging their way to you today, hope you can take some time for yourself.

 

[catbells]

thank you count2ten. We are still on the rollercoaster. Today Mum has eaten well.
Sleeps well during her morning "bed rest" and afternoon "bed rest", the pressure ulcer has been dry for two days, but today as she was wheeled from the dining area there was fluid on the floor, the ulcer seeping to the extent running down to the ground. A carer said there was also an odour. District Nurse was expected this evening to redress the wound. its in a difficult place as its right on the protruding ankle bone, and I asked the carers to ask for antibiotics again (last course finished only a few days ago). She doesn`t need another infection, she may not have the fight left in her. So I wait for what tomorrow brings.
My hubby and I are going away in our tourer caravan, not far away and I`m taking my car too in case I need to return home. I bit of R&R and batteries recharged to face whats coming next. We are going to the coast, so looking forward to some bracing walks on the coast.
Thank you again for your kind thoughts.
Exhausted - Heather xx