Loss of appeite/boredom

ElaineW

Registered User
Oct 18, 2012
19
0
Bristol
I am struggling with foods to tempt my mum who I have been caring for now for almost 7 years. She has just finished a course of antibiotics for a ? urine infection and has also had a nasty cold so I know that might affect things but it's been a problem on and off for some time now. She has a constant problem with vomiting and I do wonder now if there is an element that she is frightened and that if she eats she will be sick, she seems to take one mouthful and then say she feels sick and I can't get beyond that first mouthful. She seems to be able to swallow OK!

I would also be grateful for any suggestions as to what I can give her to try to do - have spent hundreds of pounds on books, large 100 piece puzzles, children's games, sewing projects for young children, colouring, word search, she won't engage with simple household tasks either - nothing holds her attention or seems to interest her. She used to enjoy knitting squares for cat blankets but now she seems to have lost the ability/interest to do that now and her squares, god love her, look more like circles sometimes! When nobody is with her she just seems to sit in the chair staring into space with not even the t.v. on - I find it so sad. I have tried day centres without success and she has a befriender for 2 hours a week. I would be grateful for any ideas to pass her long and sometimes lonely days when I am at work. I think I have exhausted every avenue. Many thanks

Elaine
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Apologies if you have already tried this, but would giving her a very small portion (say, a spoonful) on a large plate make it look less intimidating?
 

Oxy

Registered User
Jul 19, 2014
953
0
I think that sometimes they just want silence and do nothing to rest their brain when mentally tired. At these times not even music is tolerated. Other times listening to calming/favourite music. Watching animal DVDs as no plot needs following but I do notice you're at work and it would need someone to set it for her.
Rummaging bag/sorting buttons etc. fiddle object( can't remember name eg stress ball).
Food- small portions of different coloured foods to make it look appealing, ensuring not white on white plate etc. for contrast. Jelly, ice cream, yogurts. Fruits highly coloured, salads highly coloured but just small amounts more frequently. If she is dehydrated she will feel nauseous too. If alone she may well say she has drunk even if nothing taken on board. Have you spoken to a dietitian who might prescribe fortisips to enable her to get nutrition needed. Lack of eg iron makes for nausea too. Favourite tidbits. Hope it improves a little for you.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
0
SW London
Re activities, my mother was much the same - every suggestion was met with 'I can't be bothered.' She sat all day with the TV on, but at least she'd do that, although she could not follow anything needing the slightest concentration. The 'best' programme - one she really seemed to find interesting - was a documentary about grossly fat people in America. If I'd thought at the time, I would have recorded the whole series since she would have watched it over and over, saying, 'Dear oh dear!' time and again.

One activity that has occurred to me long since, would have been asking her to sort out a load of 1ps and 2ps - we always have a massive jar of coppers and just putting them into separate jars would have been very simple. But I have a feeling it would have been met, like everything else, with, 'I can't be bothered.'

I'm afraid to say that eventually I gave up trying anything that needed the slightest input from her. There is only so long you can go on bashing your head against a brick wall, and to be honest I began to feel I was verging on nagging and chivvying, when in fact she was happy (or at least as happy as she was ever going to be in the circs, which is not saying much) as she was.

I honestly think she could no longer cope with any of it, and this was a person who had been an avid reader, a doer of crosswords, and had successfully followed the stock market, buying and selling shares - after sacking the broker since she said she could do it better herself - for years.
 

ElaineW

Registered User
Oct 18, 2012
19
0
Bristol
Apologies if you have already tried this, but would giving her a very small portion (say, a spoonful) on a large plate make it look less intimidating?


Yes I do put up small portions with not to much choice on the plate, put a large portion in front of her and it's not touched. I don't know what she is living on at the moment, can't even tempt her with an ice cream which she loves. I always try to add a bit of colour to the plate too for presentation but if it looks different to anything she is used to that doesn't work either but thanks for your reply. xx
 

ElaineW

Registered User
Oct 18, 2012
19
0
Bristol
Thanks for your ideas, I sadly probably have to agree that mum has gone past the point of being bothered or interested in anything. I will certainly try the coin counting though but all she says is "that's your job" (hence my list of jobs is growing longer by the day :) My mum loves to watch You've been Framed and as you so rightly say they repeat the same time and time again.

I will keep persevering with the foods, can't even tempt her with an ice cream at the moment though, if things don't improve I think I will have to go down the Fortisep route. I guess there is no magic wand to help us all with what we are faced with; it's truly a horrible disease. xx
 

halojones

Registered User
May 7, 2014
438
0
My mum is quite similar, she stopped eating recently when she had a UTI, now she has finished the abs, she is eating a bit better now(its horrible and so alarming, you have my sympathy),but she is definetly not as she was..She also doesn't want to get dressed or go out anymore, (she always got dressed and went out) she is just not interested in anything at all, just watches the tele.(you have been framed)..I am with mum all the time and we have very similar problems to you,I don't know what to suggest about the boredom, again, like you i struggle to keep mum interested in anything, it really is the illness....I hope your mum perks up and can manage some food....Take Care xxx
 
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