Dressing and undressing - when to intervene?

[Prospector]

My wife, who is just 52 years old, has become very confused about dressing and undressing over the past few months. She often takes off and puts on the same item of clothing several times over, particularly when getting ready for bed. She also gets sequences wrong (e.g. she tries to put tights on without taking off her pyjama trousers first) and sometimes tries to put several of the same item on, such as two skirts, or a skirt and a dress, or three cardigans (which I let her do, just assisting her with getting the sleeves unbundled).
Should I just leave her to find her own way? Or should I intervene as soon as I see she is heading in the wrong direction? As a general rule, I intervene only if really necessary for her comfort, or when she seems to be completely stuck, or when we have to meet a timing - I am still working, so this tends to happen most mornings.
Sometimes when I intervene she seems upset and embarrassed and will pretend that there is some logical purpose behind what she is doing.
Please does anyone have any advice on how best to handle the situation? Is there anything I can do to help reinforce the right sequences in her mind? I find this one of the most stressful and depressing aspects of this disease so far.

 

[Tin]

It is horrible, my mum is the same plus when half way dressed she forgets if she is dressing or undressing. I have tried lining her clothes up in the sequence she should get dressed and tried to move everything out of her eye line, and I talked her through it all, but we are now back to leaving her to it, unless we have to be out for a certain time, usually later on in the day she manages to sort it all out in her mind, but mostly now I have to talk her through what to take off and then put on next. Sometimes I feel that there is very little activity in her life that I'm happy she is trying to work something out.

 

[Jessbow]

Does she select her own clothes from wardrobe or do you get them out?
A pile might work, pants bra tights underskirt top skirt/trousers, cardi so she puts each on as she reaches it in the pile.

Wont work if she selects her own though, unless you adopt a ''set of clothes on a hanger' method.

 

[marionq]

Yes, this is an issue. I leave fresh clothes out every day but if I am out of the bedroom husband often returns them to the wardrobe and takes out a new selection - often bizarre. If it doesn't matter I let it go but if we are going out then I have to insist on him changing. No solution, sorry.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

I try to put out all a set of suitable clothes on the bed while my husband is in the shower, but he does often put them away and then get out something strange.

Setting his clothes out in the guest room sometimes seems to work. I lure him there on some pretext, like there's an interesting bird, cloud formation, whatever, and once he's away from the wardrobe and his drawers he just gets dressed.

 

[Spamar]

OH needs help to get into and out of shower, but can actually shower himself ( though I usually put shower on and check water temp). I take his clothes into shower room in their correct order and, after drying him, hand them one by one ready to put on. This usually works a treat.
However .....yesterday we had family coming. The one day I was in a hurry! We had a little argument, you know the sort of thing! In this case I left him on the loo, came back in to find him trying to throw a piece of used loo roll into the waste paper basket. I said, you can put that in the loo. But he was adamant that it went in the waste paper basket, and HE KNEW BEST. As you all know, you can't win in those situations. I left him to it. Next time I went in he was just pulling up his second sock. They fitted perfectly over his hands! I pointed out that it was more usual to put socks on ones feet. Then left. Next time I went in, his socks were on his feet - over his bed socks! Once more pointed out the obvious, and he managed the rest, excepting shoes and glasses, both forgotten.
This morning, he was more than happy for me to assist!

 

[Chuggalug]

My wife, who is just 52 years old, has become very confused about dressing and undressing over the past few months. She often takes off and puts on the same item of clothing several times over, particularly when getting ready for bed. She also gets sequences wrong (e.g. she tries to put tights on without taking off her pyjama trousers first) and sometimes tries to put several of the same item on, such as two skirts, or a skirt and a dress, or three cardigans (which I let her do, just assisting her with getting the sleeves unbundled).
Should I just leave her to find her own way? Or should I intervene as soon as I see she is heading in the wrong direction? As a general rule, I intervene only if really necessary for her comfort, or when she seems to be completely stuck, or when we have to meet a timing - I am still working, so this tends to happen most mornings.
Sometimes when I intervene she seems upset and embarrassed and will pretend that there is some logical purpose behind what she is doing.
Please does anyone have any advice on how best to handle the situation? Is there anything I can do to help reinforce the right sequences in her mind? I find this one of the most stressful and depressing aspects of this disease so far.

If she prefers to dress herself, and I know how that feels as I'm a very private person, what about putting a set of clothes in the bathroom for her, on the back of a chair, perhaps, so that she sees it as time to have a wash and get changed. Is that possible? And could she manage?

 

[Prospector]

Thanks for all the ideas. I do try leaving clothes in order but that doesn't work. My wife is very independently-minded and re-sorts them as she wants them. The most successful tactic so far is to hide unneeded clothes from sight as she gets undressed, but it can be difficult to stay discreet.


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[pamann]

Hello prospector my husband puts on 3 shirts, if l tell him he has 3 shirts on he gets angry, so l just agree, he puts 2 pairs of pants on, and 2 pairs of socks , l think he doesn't remember putting one on, so repeats it, just agree it makes life easier, happy days♡♡♡♡♡♡

 

[Hervieux]

Hello prospector my husband puts on 3 shirts, if l tell him he has 3 shirts on he gets angry, so l just agree, he puts 2 pairs of pants on, and 2 pairs of socks , l think he doesn't remember putting one on, so repeats it, just agree it makes life easier, happy days♡♡♡♡♡♡

Yes Pamann,sounds like my man,3 shirts,2 sweaters,pyjama jacket,etc.Just go with the flow,I just shrug and say"ok",so much easier than looks of hate if I suggest other clothes.


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[Kevinl]

Hi Prospector
My wife was the same she wouldn't take help but kept getting it wrong, I avoid making an issue out of anything so I just gave a bit of time and guidance and when she came to accept the help the I just started to set out the next days clothes every night.
She now never get dressed until after breakfast, the toast and coffee and a chance to wake properly up seem to help.
I think it's best letting the little things go, in my wife's case it was a phase she went through, it hasn't happened in a while now, she just she understands the clothes on the dresser are there and she put them on, OK sometimes on top of her nightwear but you can't have everything.
K