Goodbye my love .... John died today

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
0
Pontypool
Scarlett I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope the strength and determination that kept you fighting for John sees you through the dark hours and that you can eventually find peace and happier memories. Huge hug. x


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Oxy

Registered User
Jul 19, 2014
953
0
My thoughts are with you. Wishing you every strength in the coming days and months at this so difficult time but you know that you did all for your husband that was in your might-such a good wife. My very best wishes to you.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Bless my lovely neighbours. All up to their eyes in their own Christmas preparations, but 6 of them have found time today to get sympathy cards and post them through the letterbox.

And bless so many of you, all up to your eyes, caring for your loved ones, sorting out Christmas, and still finding time for me. I feel truly humble. I managed to get through best part of a box of tissues with It's a Wonderful Life, but then my son and daughter have had me in hysterics, exchanging anecdotes about their Dad on emails.

I'd like to share just one with you. When my son was 6, he was impressed that both John and Jesus had the same birthday. Nobody else in his class had a Dad with their birthday on Christmas Day. He was convinced that John, too, was the Son of God. :eek:

On Christmas Eve he was passing Christmas Cards to John, who was putting them on strings. He ran out of space and was hammering another pin in the wall, on which to hang a string, and hammered his thumb, at which point John yelled "*&^%$* it!!!" , and at that moment my son sadly knew that John was a mere mortal. :D

I love it. So much nicer to talk about happy times. And thank goodness for modern technology, that enables me to talk to my son, 6,000 miles away, and read loads of emails, remembering the fun times we all had. I'm so glad my kids, though in their 40s, remember such happy childhoods. :)
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
All those who know and love you here read this with our hearts in our mouths, Scarlett. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I think I can imagine how I'd feel. It must be so strange, knowing your hubby is gone.

I just wanted to pop in and offer my loving condolences to you. Nearly 50 years of love. What a wonderful way to put it.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
0
72
Bless my lovely neighbours. All up to their eyes in their own Christmas preparations, but 6 of them have found time today to get sympathy cards and post them through the letterbox.

And bless so many of you, all up to your eyes, caring for your loved ones, sorting out Christmas, and still finding time for me. I feel truly humble. I managed to get through best part of a box of tissues with It's a Wonderful Life, but then my son and daughter have had me in hysterics, exchanging anecdotes about their Dad on emails.

I'd like to share just one with you. When my son was 6, he was impressed that both John and Jesus had the same birthday. Nobody else in his class had a Dad with their birthday on Christmas Day. He was convinced that John, too, was the Son of God. :eek:

On Christmas Eve he was passing Christmas Cards to John, who was putting them on strings. He ran out of space and was hammering another pin in the wall, on which to hang a string, and hammered his thumb, at which point John yelled "*&^%$* it!!!" , and at that moment my son sadly knew that John was a mere mortal. :D

I love it. So much nicer to talk about happy times. And thank goodness for modern technology, that enables me to talk to my son, 6,000 miles away, and read loads of emails, remembering the fun times we all had. I'm so glad my kids, though in their 40s, remember such happy childhoods. :)

I love that story. Your son clearly had great pride in his dad.

I was given that film as a gift about 3 years ago, and really must watch it! I've been waiting for a strong day, but maybe I'll just get out the tissues.

I can only imagine how you're feeling Scarlett, but know my day will come to. I hope I can be as positive as you. J x
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
0
The Sweet North
Scarlett, I am so sorry for your loss, but as others have said, you have so many years of good memories, and some of these are helping you already.
I am moved and comforted by your account of hearing the doorbell, so can imagine how helpful this is to you.
Wishing you much comfort and peace, you have been a remarkable inspiration to everyone on TP.
'A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours'
I have long thought that these lines from the poem by Leo Marks are suited to those grieving the loss of someone dear who suffered from dementia.
Let John's peace be your peace also.
Sleepless x
 

Feline

Registered User
Oct 25, 2012
163
0
East Devon
At 6.30 this morning, I heard the doorbell go. I was surprised that Billy hadn't barked, but I got up, took the chain off, unlocked the door, and nobody was there. But I knew it was John saying goodbye.

Sure enough about half an hour later, they rang from the Home, and I knew what they would say, and I told them at what time he'd died. I went to see him, and he looked at peace. His log sheet showed he was seen at 6.20, and the staff were going past his room, all the time, so I am fairly positive that he rang the bell to say goodbye.

I am just so pleased he's free from pain, and at peace. The doctor came whilst I was there, and discussed with me the certificate, and he is putting Dementia as the cause of death, as this avoids a post mortem.

I've made an appointment at the Funeral Home for Monday, I'll be registering the death at the Registry Office tomorrow, and I've unpacked my grocery delivery. I'm just glad that I had nearly 50 years of love, with a most wonderful husband, father and grandfather.

Sending my condolences, so glad John is at peace.Treasure your memories.
With love and strength to you.
 

Grey Lad

Registered User
Sep 12, 2014
5,736
0
North East Lincs
Bless my lovely neighbours. All up to their eyes in their own Christmas preparations, but 6 of them have found time today to get sympathy cards and post them through the letterbox.

And bless so many of you, all up to your eyes, caring for your loved ones, sorting out Christmas, and still finding time for me. I feel truly humble. I managed to get through best part of a box of tissues with It's a Wonderful Life, but then my son and daughter have had me in hysterics, exchanging anecdotes about their Dad on emails.

I'd like to share just one with you. When my son was 6, he was impressed that both John and Jesus had the same birthday. Nobody else in his class had a Dad with their birthday on Christmas Day. He was convinced that John, too, was the Son of God. :eek:

On Christmas Eve he was passing Christmas Cards to John, who was putting them on strings. He ran out of space and was hammering another pin in the wall, on which to hang a string, and hammered his thumb, at which point John yelled "*&^%$* it!!!" , and at that moment my son sadly knew that John was a mere mortal. :D

I love it. So much nicer to talk about happy times. And thank goodness for modern technology, that enables me to talk to my son, 6,000 miles away, and read loads of emails, remembering the fun times we all had. I'm so glad my kids, though in their 40s, remember such happy childhoods. :)

Scarlett: just wanted you to know how much your suggestions have really helped me in my caring role with Maureen. I hope you have managed some sleep and gained comfort from all those lovely memories.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Scarlett-I hope you managed to get some sleep. I'm glad you and your family are wrapping your arms round each other.

Thinking of you with love.

Lyn T XX
 

janey106

Registered User
Dec 10, 2013
139
0
I will be watching Its a Wonderful Life later today; you will be in my thoughts and I will think of John lassooing the moon for you.

(((((Hug))))))
 

Soobee

Registered User
Aug 22, 2009
2,731
0
South
my condolences to you. It sounds like you have a close family and they are already comforting you with many happy memories of your lovely husband.
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
0
West Midlands
Thinking of you
My condolences to you but so glad his passing was peaceful xx


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Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
0
Radcliffe on Trent
Scarlett, I am so sorry for your loss, but as others have said, you have so many years of good memories, and some of these are helping you already.
I am moved and comforted by your account of hearing the doorbell, so can imagine how helpful this is to you.
Wishing you much comfort and peace, you have been a remarkable inspiration to everyone on TP.
'A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours'
I have long thought that these lines from the poem by Leo Marks are suited to those grieving the loss of someone dear who suffered from dementia.
Let John's peace be your peace also.
Sleepless x

Lovely and moving words, perfectly appropriate sleepless. I feel so strange today that I'm not driving over to mum's to collect her for Christmas as we have done for many years. She's so much on my mind today and I'm sure it will be the same for many of us TPers. Peace and love to us all, especially to Scarlett and her family.
 

Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
0
British Isles
Thinking of you and your loved ones at this painful time. It is so lovely that your son and daughter are able to bring back memories of happier days. Wishing you all strength and peace.
 

VerityRuth

Registered User
Apr 28, 2014
20
0
Essex coast
I am new to this site but just want to say how sorry I am about the loss of your loved one and wish you peace and comfort in the days to come
 

Eleonora

Registered User
Dec 21, 2012
170
0
Abingdon Oxfordshire
Scarlet dear, how glad I am that John made his farewell to you. Those who have followed his progress, and your fight to care for him, will be saddened by your sadness; but reassured that finally both he, (and you) have found release from the torment of dementia.
I hope that you will find the peace you deserve, as you mourn his absence, and pick up your life again.

Huge hugs!

Leonora.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,513
0
Near Southampton
Lovely poem Sleepless.
I remember it being used in the film 'Carve her name with Pride', the story of Violette Szabo and how she used it as a code in her espionage role in the war after losing her husband and have always loved it.
An appropriate poem.


Scarlett. The title of your thread is so emotive, it makes me weep when I see it.
I love the fact that somehow John said "Goodbye" to you.
What a beautiful goodbye gift. xxx