Invisibles

[Margaret79]

How predictable are your invisibles?? I just knew that after a year of silence Dave's invisible brother would be in touch this weekend. So he leaves a message earlier on this evening wanting to visit in the next couple of days!

Why does he feel it necessary to come once a year at Christmas. Does he not get that it's a busy time of year and making arrangements ahead of time is a good thing to do? It's not like MIL will recognise him or know it's Christmas. The visit is just to make him feel better.

I suggested to Himself (husband) that they visited her on Wednesday at the care home that she goes for day care. Of course he doesn't want to do that. Tomorrow she has a visit from Crossroads and they came last year when the carer was there and they ignored her So I said they can't come tomorrow.

That leaves Tuesday and what a shame I have an appointment for a mammogram and plan to do my food shopping afterwards. So hopefully I won't have to see them for long. Maybe I'll have lunch out too

When Himself said to BIL that he needed to be prepared for MIL realising that she knew them but didn't know how and that she wouldn't remember from one minute to the next BIL is now an expert and had the cheek to tell Himself that we must expect that at this stage in the illness. What the **** does he know about her illness

 

[chris53]

Hi Margaret, no family invisibles left now, but mums friends all decide to bombard her with calls,visits etc this time of year which totally overwhelms her..she has always been a nag bag before christmas wanting everything just so, dementia has not changed that! except that I am now santas little helper(grrrr) making sure all is done for when someone decides to appear.. but all these well meaning friends one after another she finds a bit too much now..why not other times of the year..bah humbug will be glad when it has been and gone...hope you do manage to have a lunch out
Take care, and hope your "invisible visiter" is just a very brief encounter
Chris x

 

[Margaret79]

Oh dear, I'm not such a nice person I have arranged for our septic tank to be emptied tomorrow, hopefully they'll come when the invisibles are here, lovely smell, just for them

 

[RedLou]

Oh dear, I'm not such a nice person I have arranged for our septic tank to be emptied tomorrow, hopefully they'll come when the invisibles are here, lovely smell, just for them

 

[creativesarah]

bet they will wish they were invisible !

 

[Onlyme]

If only they had given you more notice you could have organised things. . Pity you could have arranged a power cut too.

My invisibles have reached a new status - Scotch Mist.

 

[Pepper&Spice]

Like that one Onlyme Love the septic tank Margaret, could there be an accidental spillage on the "invisible" car ? Mine had done something similar - dictating what they were doing on Christmas Day but mum has gone downhill so they will have to visit her in respite
Does mean I might actually relax Christmas Day as I know mum is safe and cared for and I can visit, spend some time with her and avoid the invisibles - hopefully

 

[angecmc]

My useless brother just got his wife to drop Mums Christmas present off at Dads, so we now know that once again he won't be visiting Mum at the care home, he can't even be bothered to visit or invite his Dad to visit him. I took Mums present from him in today, felt like just throwing it straight in the bin His excuse this time was that seeing Mum makes him depressed, well guess what I feel like that every day when I visit Mum, but someone has to make sure she is well looked after and has everything she needs. Xx

Ange

 

[halojones]

You have made me giggle Margaret.. I have 3invisibles, and I am really interested to see what they are going to get mum in the way of cards and presents etc...?We have had nothing in the post from them as yet, , but today, when I got back home, mum had a small present and card left hanging on the door handleMy sis didn't knock on the door, just left mums pressie outside...(apparently,for years, she did this with flowers on mums birthday, the neighbour told me !)So, one down ,2to go....last year, one sis gave mum dates and times that she could visit,after boxing day, as if mum could phone her up and fix up a diary date..!!Mum couldn't give a xxxx about Xmas anyway...xxx

You must treat yourself to a nice lunch Margaret,....xxx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I know this won't be much help or consolation for all of you but OH! What I would give for my aunt to be an invisible! No chance, she's at the nursing home twice a week, reporting people, complaining, issuing orders she has no authority to give and generally being a massive pain in the buttocks. Fortunately she stopped phoning me and making me crazy nearly 4 years ago now. My interaction with her has lessened considerably but I would absolutely love it to be zero.

There are worse things than a relative who never shows up - one who never stops showing up.

 

[jen54]

after much emailing for info on how we are tackling mum over xmas I have been told by sibling that if we do xmas -they will have mum up nearer new year,as they wont do xmas day and mum is used to going up ours every boxing day-
on me saying, we can drop in with mum on route to ours at xmas if mum wants to see you(hasn't been asked up there for over a year)have been told mum doesn't know what day it is anyhow so any time in hols will do rather than xmas? never mind mum has said she doesn't want to sit alone up hers at xmas-the first alone since dad died) and the fact xmas day may well be full of tv xmas shows to remind her she is alone at xmas, it wont be like an average non descript day I am sure, sibling going to drop off presents xmas eve - I will be amazed if the nearer new year invite happens either more annoying was the neighbour has left two mugs with dad's photo on for mum for xmas, and sibling says if mum doesn't break them we can have them when she doesn't need them any more??? I despair- also first tiem I mention I can use card to shop for mum, its- I need some cash(cant quite see where the last lot went, as no receipts kept, and very little has appeared up mums from them as I do shopping each week)

I just find I am getting more and more annoyed how because mum is so forgetful, she "is vacant" "not mum" and anything that excuses someone from making an effort!

 

[Margaret79]

Got my timings wrong Poo man turned up this morning just around the time I was expecting invisibles and guess what, they came later

Arrived about 3.15 and left at 6pm having spent an hour with MIL. Big deal, they then proceeded to tell me that they had a good conversation with her. Yeah she had one of her more lucid days today, mores the pity!!

They should be here now, she's completely out of it, no idea where she lives or who the bloke is who keeps turning down the heating so she's freezing?

I'm grateful that we won't see them til next Christmas

 

[Onlyme]

I'm grateful that we won't see them til next Christmas

You can only hope

 

[BR_ANA]

I'm grateful that we won't see them til next Christmas

That's a great news. Maybe on next year Xmas be cancelled.

 

[Pepper&Spice]

Shame about the timing Margaret - that's the trouble with invisibles they seem to have a sixth sense about when is the best time to come At least it will be a year without and maybe next year they'll have the plague or something and won't be able to come

 

[geum123]

Oh dear.
Bad luck Margaret.
Doesn't that just make you want to spit.
Maybe you can factor in punctuality for next year.

Christmas Greetings to you and himself. xxx