Delusions

[katlady47q]

My husband has dementia. He is 80 and I am 77. The most difficult issue in his care is delusions. He seldom recognizes me as his wife of 55 years. Sometimes he thinks this is my house and I am a friend and he needs to get back to his wife and his house. He often thinks I am his brother (can't figure out that one.) At first I would argue with him
which only made him aggressive and combative. I have learned to play along with his delusions, so he is calmer but persistent in his beliefs.
My question is, anybody else dealing with this situation and any thoughts on how to handle it. Will these delusions go away as the disease progresses.

 

[Spamar]

Hi
My OH has delusions last year. In the main they were completely weird, but he believed them all. He was ordering me to call the police ( he can't use a phone) and the threat of violence was all too apparent. He was put on an antipsychotic ( Quetiapine in his case) which was later changed to Memantine. All the delusions ceased, but came back this year in a less unsettling form. They were also based on fact ( he had adopted a baby boy). This is perfectly true, but 45 years out of date!! But he still thinks it's a baby! Hmmmmm!
Talk to your gp and you should be able to get some form of medication that will help.
Alzheimer's society, ageuk, family carer groups should all be able to help you to cope with this.

 

[Onlydaughter]

If you imagine your life like a library book shelf, the latest memories being the top shelf, if these are taken away you are immediately in the past. Take a few more shelves away and you are 'young' again, the people around you are themselves. You Don't recognise this elder person as your spouse, you only remember the young person you married, your children are still school age etc, sometimes the memory gets confused about homes, they can remember a childhood home but not where they actually live. We were told never to argue or try to correct them as they can get more confused and an outlet is aggression. It's not an easy role for the carers who are also their spouses.

 

[Grey Lad]

If you imagine your life like a library book shelf, the latest memories being the top shelf, if these are taken away you are immediately in the past. Take a few more shelves away and you are 'young' again, the people around you are themselves. You Don't recognise this elder person as your spouse, you only remember the young person you married, your children are still school age etc, sometimes the memory gets confused about homes, they can remember a childhood home but not where they actually live. We were told never to argue or try to correct them as they can get more confused and an outlet is aggression. It's not an easy role for the carers who are also their spouses.

Thanks for your clear explanation of the condition. It's early v d here but this is rarely our house it belongs to an Auntie. Also OH generally questions: if we are married, how long we have been married, and we haven't lived here long (14 years). It is hard to not challenge and Maureen spends a lot of her time trying to work things out and put things into place. Watching this condition progress is heartbreaking.

 

[Izzy]

If you imagine your life like a library book shelf, the latest memories being the top shelf, if these are taken away you are immediately in the past. Take a few more shelves away and you are 'young' again, the people around you are themselves. You Don't recognise this elder person as your spouse, you only remember the young person you married, your children are still school age etc, sometimes the memory gets confused about homes, they can remember a childhood home but not where they actually live. We were told never to argue or try to correct them as they can get more confused and an outlet is aggression. It's not an easy role for the carers who are also their spouses.

Just thought I would pop on the link to the video which uses the bookcase analogy. I thought it was a really good way to explain it -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iOnxYbdrrE&index=2&list=PLMba6gbVf6Fe6IbMtV-c5E0N6Cm_7GciK