How many of us dread Xmas.

[TiggerJ]

I am hanging in there

My step father who is 94 and has severe dementia is in hospital just now and he us not going home whatever happens as he now needs nursing care. I am going through the motions this Christmas with the decorations, tree etc as my mum is finding it hard to come to terms with the situation. We will celebrate Christmas but in a very different way this year!

 

[LYN T]

M husband is very ill in hospital and I'm spending 8 or 9 hours a day at his bedside. Christmas won't impinge on me at all. I won't see our grandchildren or be at any family gatherings but there will be other Christmases and other gatherings but for my darling there won't be another December. He may not open his eyes for days but I shall be there as always to hold his hand and stroke him as he sleeps and that is all I want for Christmas.

I'm so sorry jawuk

I do understand how you feel. My OH is holding on to life in his CH -only by the strength of his heart. Everything else is giving up. I'm giving up. I will spend many hours with Pete-because he deserves the company and (I desperately hope) the knowledge that I am there for him. I'm so sorry that you and your Husband are suffering through the festive season. A poignant time to say the least.

Love and sympathy

Lyn T XX

 

[Mommidizzle]

.............I do a bit as i'm not sure if OH will still know who I am this time next year !! however my Son and his wife are coming to stay this year with our 3yr old Grandaughter on Xmas Eve so we get to see her wake up for Santa (the only thing thats keeping me going at the mo and i really hope OH doesn't spoil the mood as others have said!!??)

But I really really do dread NYE !!!! and have done for the last 3 yrs!! .......... new year !? my ass!! just another yr nearer the bad stuff!!

 

[angiebails]

Been to see the new baby. Rose Ann born at 7am this morning. I didn't want to let her go she looked so perfect. Bought lots of pink clothes as she only had white as we didn't know what sex she was. And added bonus they only live 1/2 mile away.


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[Scarlett123]

Been to see the new baby. Rose Ann born at 7am this morning. I didn't want to let her go she looked so perfect. Bought lots of pink clothes as she only had white as we didn't know what sex she was. And added bonus they only live 1/2 mile away.


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Many congratulations, and I'm sending a massive pink and white cyber bouquet to her doting Grandma!

 

[Cloverland]

Congratulations Angibails a lovely addition to your family. Dare I say a positive against a negative.

WilliamR - sound a wonderful day, I bet your neighbour looks forward to these 2 days every year.

 

[Pickles53]

Been to see the new baby. Rose Ann born at 7am this morning. I didn't want to let her go she looked so perfect. Bought lots of pink clothes as she only had white as we didn't know what sex she was. And added bonus they only live 1/2 mile away.


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How wonderful and a lovely name, bless her!

 

[truth24]

Congratulations angiebails. How lovely and what a beautiful name. A very special Christmas present.

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[MReader]

This Xmas is going to be very poignant - it will probably be my husband's last. He not only has severe dementia but also prostate cancer which is now in his bones.

He is in bed most of the day & night and mercifully has no idea what is happening to him - he thinks he has a cold!!!

The Hospice nurse said not to expect him to see the spring - but along with a lot of families, his sons have no idea how ill he is & are still talking about Xmas day at theirs as if we will all be one happy family even though I have explained to them that their dad is too ill to travel & join in Xmas celebrations. None as blind as will not see!!!

So it will just be him (in bed) and me on Xmas day I think.

Bright side is I will be able to watch as much Xmas TV as I want!!!

 

[jan.s]

Put me down for wishing Christmas to pass quickly!

Congratulations on the baby, such lovely news.

 

[Lindy50]

Congratulations on your new granddaughter, angieballs lovely that they live so close, too!

I feel for all of you whose Christmases are so very difficult, you all deserve a medal, I think. For me, Christmas is just a complication I could do without.....not horribly difficult (yet), but a case of going through the motions. I'm not entirely sure why we keep doing it.....maybe we're just treading water, hoping for better times.....?!

I know all those Christmas ads on TV have exactly the opposite effect on me to that intended...Note to self: must try to resist bah humbug!!

Love to all, Lindy xx

 

[jan.s]

I know all those Christmas ads on TV have exactly the opposite effect on me to that intended...Note to self: must try to resist bah humbug!!
x

I feel the same over the Christmas ads

I am more fortunate than some at Christmas, but it has little meaning these days, as Roger doesn't know its Christmas; to him, it's just a day when things are different and he doesn't like different!

To me, it's has to be just another day, spent at the CH and then home alone in the evening. Me and dog cuddled up with TV and nibbles.

I always hope others have a lovely Christmas though.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Mum died suddenly October last year, stepped in to live with dad and his dementia straightaway - first Xmas without mum last year horrible. This year - first Xmas with dad in a care home after 8 months looking after him in his home and trying 2 unsuccessful live in carers - it feels equally horrible but also feel guilty. Right decision right time for dad declining illness but last year even though a very difficult Xmas at least Dad had Xmas in his own home and we have taken that away from him. Guilt/Xmas all rolls into one now!

 

[Scarlett123]

I feel the same over the Christmas ads

I am more fortunate than some at Christmas, but it has little meaning these days, as Roger doesn't know its Christmas; to him, it's just a day when things are different and he doesn't like different!

To me, it's has to be just another day, spent at the CH and then home alone in the evening. Me and dog cuddled up with TV and nibbles.

I always hope others have a lovely Christmas though.

I too will be cuddling my dog, Billy on Christmas evening, and trying not to think of Christmases past, else I'll cry. In fact, when I was asked at the CH if I was coming to The Party next week, I tried my hardest to look enthusiastic, but it just wouldn't come.

I've decided to visit John about half an hour before the funfest is due to begin, and then I can slide away quite quickly. The whole thought of Christmas is making me want to bawl my eyes out.

 

[love.dad.but..]

I suddenly realised whilst painful enough for me it must be far worse if rather than a parent it is a spouse or partner and can't imagine how that must be so difficult. Early Xmas hugs to us all!

 

[Rageddy Anne]

I love the look of wonder on a baby's face at Christmas. It's a season of such mixed feelings, sad for some and wonderful for others. We have a black hat with white fur and bobble, and Bah Humbug written on it, just for those low moments...will be thinking of everyone on TP at Christmas, all thinking our different thoughts.

 

[Lindy50]

Oh, yes, of course I hope everyone has the best Xmas possible in the circumstances But like you, Scarlett, when I was asked to attend mum's sheltered housing Christmas bash, I knew I'd be there as much as anything to support the warden, which I will do.....but 'real' Christmas feelings just wouldn't come ....

I think Christmas tends to be a time of extreme joy, or extreme misery. I'll feel lucky if I can be somewhere in the middle

And really, I do count my blessings.....lovely family etc......but I try to do that all year, not just at Christmas

Good wishes to all

Lindy xx

 

[LYN T]

I too will be cuddling my dog, Billy on Christmas evening, and trying not to think of Christmases past, else I'll cry. In fact, when I was asked at the CH if I was coming to The Party next week, I tried my hardest to look enthusiastic, but it just wouldn't come.

I've decided to visit John about half an hour before the funfest is due to begin, and then I can slide away quite quickly. The whole thought of Christmas is making me want to bawl my eyes out.

The same Xmas evening that I am going to experience. After a full day at the CH I will be cuddling up with my Big Billy and Cindy. Not ideal but I'm finding it hard to put my Christmas happy smiley face on. I DO hope that everyone else has a happy time though. I used to love Christmas

 

[Fastwalker]

Christmas before the home was hard my mum wasn't right. The first in the home we had a meal out and it was fine and my house for tea. The second her skirt was wet and she had no tights on. I played war with the carers but still ended up changing her and putting tights on because they disappeared as usual. I took her to my house for a meal but I had to cook it with her there because I am single and have no siblings. I used all my energy up battling at the home. I took her out on Boxing Day to the T**y and she refused to go to the server so I went and then refused to eat. She then wouldn't stand up to go. It was a horrible nightmare and people stared. I had to do this on my own. We went straight back to the home and not to my house for tea.

The third Christmas my mum was in the lovely nursing home and I had dinner there with her but had to feed her. The fourth Christmas was similar. This Christmas she isn't here anymore as she died on 22nd November. I didn't want well meaning people asking me because they felt sorry for me because I have no siblings or a husband or partner. I didn't want to be on my own although I know many people who are on there own at Christmas. I also didn't want to remember when my mum was well and dwell on this. I booked a four night walking holiday over Christmas. I hope I will be able to keep it together with strangers. Christmas is for families. I don't care about new year.

 

[cathykins]

Christmas before the home was hard my mum wasn't right. The first in the home we had a meal out and it was fine and my house for tea. The second her skirt was wet and she had no tights on. I played war with the carers but still ended up changing her and putting tights on because they disappeared as usual. I took her to my house for a meal but I had to cook it with her there because I am single and have no siblings. I used all my energy up battling at the home. I took her out on Boxing Day to the T**y and she refused to go to the server so I went and then refused to eat. She then wouldn't stand up to go. It was a horrible nightmare and people stared. I had to do this on my own. We went straight back to the home and not to my house for tea.

The third Christmas my mum was in the lovely nursing home and I had dinner there with her but had to feed her. The fourth Christmas was similar. This Christmas she isn't here anymore as she died on 22nd November. I didn't want well meaning people asking me because they felt sorry for me because I have no siblings or a husband or partner. I didn't want to be on my own although I know many people who are on there own at Christmas. I also didn't want to remember when my mum was well and dwell on this. I booked a four night walking holiday over Christmas. I hope I will be able to keep it together with strangers. Christmas is for families. I don't care about new year.

Hi Fastwalker, I am sorry you have had to go through so much on your own, and for the loss of your Mum.

What a fantastic idea to go on a walking holiday. The others on the holiday will only be strangers for the first five minutes, and some of them may well become friends as you will have the love of walking in common. Who knows, some of them may be escaping for similar reasons to yours. I hope you make new memories and friends, and have a fantastic time.

Hugs, Cathy