Thank you for all the supportive comments. The hospital have been considering anti-psychotics, sistermillicent, but have been cautious because of side effects. I have been reading up online and they don't always seem effective but I think I will push for them at the review meeting next week. Even if it is just a chance of working I think mum would want to take the risk of side effects if she was in her 'right mind'.
When Mil first moved in, we had an horrendous time with almost constant sundowning, and though Mil didn't physically attack any of us, she would bang on doors and windows trying to 'get home', try to throw objects through window to smash them, keep going for up to 22 hours with her breathing and colour getting worse and worse, and on the very occasional times she managed to get out, she would bang on complete strangers doors, go in their house, empty her handbag, or run into the road without looking. She was putting herself in massive physical danger, not only from the risk of accident, or attack from strangers, or being taken advantage of, but as she has both heart problems and COPD, the risk of a heart attack or asthma attack was a real worry for us.
Anti-psychotic medication was suggested, and I scared myself silly going through the list of potential side effects, and felt very guilty for even considering them. Then a friend of mine said something that tipped the scales. She asked, that if I had the option, would I chose to be constantly angry, frightened, suffering dreadful delusions, paranoid all the time, put myself at risk of injury, heart attack, asthma attack, stroke (history of TIA's) and put my family through hell watching and dealing with all this - or would I chose to be 'blissed out' on medication, even if the medication carried the risk of heart attack or stroke (as did the behaviour listed above), and remove some if not all of rest of the possible outcomes and effects of the behaviours?.
Put like that, I knew which door I would go through, and I sincerely believe its what Mil would chose too. I went through a lot of posts on here, as well, and saw many positive examples and experiences of using this type of medication. And that decided both myself, and OH when we discussed it.
The drugs have not been a miracle cure, but they have brought enough relief that she has rarely reached the heights of upset and agitation that we used to see on a daily basis, since. They have 'toned down' the anxiety and all the horrible symptoms that go with it. Without them, I doubt she would still be living with us - we just couldn't sustain coping with the manic level of behaviours we were getting at the start. Her CPN is brilliant, and she is well monitored. There have been some probable side effects - she has developed Parkinsonisms, and we are waiting to see a specialist - but I still 100% feel that she was at more risk from even greater injury/illness from the agitation. Its quality of life, too, isn't it? Can't say she is happy, but she is not as miserable or scared or angry as she was when the agitation and manic behaviour ruled the day, and the medication has toned things down to the extent that she can still have and even enjoy family activities and interaction to an extent that wasn't possible before.
I hope this helps, and I'm so sorry you are having such an awful time - the emotional and physical pain of being hit doesn't lessen any just because there is an explanation for the thump - it still hurts the same, and you shouldn't have to put up with it xxxx
