I really hope things get better for you. My mother went into hospital after breaking her hip in 2007. The hospital did not give her her food or drink and we did the same as you, taking food in and visiting in shifts so that we could make sure she got a drink. She, along with others on her ward contracted cdif and became really dehydrated to the point where she was chanting "drink, drink, drink" when she saw us. When the results came through to confirm that she had cdif they put her in an isolation ward even though by that time she was not displaying any symptoms. She became so distressed that they got permission to move her back onto the ward. We have had to overcome many problems but what I can say is that once we got mam out of hospital and into care she did begin to eat and is given vitamin drinks. Although her Alzheimer's has progressed, she has put on weight in spite of going through phases of refusing food (the care home liquidised her dinners and she drank them). She also loves cakes, sweets and things like little trifles. Not a perfect diet, but we are happy to see her eat anything! Good luck.
Need some urgent advice on decision for permanent funding
- Thread starter carastro
- Start date
Well here we are 10 days later and mum is still with us having been re-admitted to hospital and now back to the nursing home again. Even the doctors weren't sure if she would make it, and both myself and my brother got the "not for resuscitation" chat over the last couple of weeks, but she seems to be hanging in there. The Nursing Home and the hospital on this 2nd admission have a feeding plan as part of her regime, and although she doesn't eat and drink a lot it is all being charted and she's getting a small diet every day (as much as they can get her to eat and drink, and IV fluids when she was in hospital.
She is still struggling to breath and isn't doing anything for herself yet but does seem to be more conversational so maybe she might just get through this, but no idea whether she will recover any of her abilities to do things like walking, or even holding her own cup - only time will tell.
Carastro
She is still struggling to breath and isn't doing anything for herself yet but does seem to be more conversational so maybe she might just get through this, but no idea whether she will recover any of her abilities to do things like walking, or even holding her own cup - only time will tell.
Carastro
Last edited:
I know this is an old post, but for those who were following it I thought I'd post an update.
Mum is miraculously still with us and Monday is her 90th Birthday and tomorrow (Sunday) we are having a family party for her at the Nursing Home.
The LA ended up having no choice but to make a contract with the nursing home after this dreadful episode, so all those battles I was having with them disappeared but not before they had given me about 3 months of stress and sleepless nights.
That's the good news, but sadly mum never recovered her ability to walk, her walking was getting worse before the fall (and which partly caused it), and being in bed for so long her muscles have wasted and she has no strength. She lost over 4 stone the month that she was in hospital and basically is now confined to bed and has to have everything done for her. The few times they have attempted to sit her in an armchair she must have tried to stand up and they found her on the floor, so they now don't sit her out unless she has a visitor who can keep an eye on her.
She hardly eats anything (about 3 dessertspoons per meal and spits the rest out, so she's lost even more weight).
To top it all she now has Dupuytrens contracture of her right hand (curled up fingers due to shortened ligaments/tendons) so no chance of her using her right hand for much, just her thumb and first finger useable. I JUST managed to get her to sign her name once each scrawled with those two fingers as Mum, Gran, great gran, Ruth etc), which I will photocopy for the Christmas cards.
From time to time a bit of her personality peeps through.
I really hope she enjoys having her family around her tomorrow - we are a close family including her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, brothers and remaining sister and nieces and nephews.
It's really sad to see mum go down hill like she has. The NH appear to be very kind and caring and she has about 5 visits a week (I cut my own visits down from every day to 3 times a week which I had been doing for the previous 18 months as it was getting too much and I have other problems going on with children and grandchildren so can't be everywhere).
Carastro
Mum is miraculously still with us and Monday is her 90th Birthday and tomorrow (Sunday) we are having a family party for her at the Nursing Home.
The LA ended up having no choice but to make a contract with the nursing home after this dreadful episode, so all those battles I was having with them disappeared but not before they had given me about 3 months of stress and sleepless nights.
That's the good news, but sadly mum never recovered her ability to walk, her walking was getting worse before the fall (and which partly caused it), and being in bed for so long her muscles have wasted and she has no strength. She lost over 4 stone the month that she was in hospital and basically is now confined to bed and has to have everything done for her. The few times they have attempted to sit her in an armchair she must have tried to stand up and they found her on the floor, so they now don't sit her out unless she has a visitor who can keep an eye on her.
She hardly eats anything (about 3 dessertspoons per meal and spits the rest out, so she's lost even more weight).
To top it all she now has Dupuytrens contracture of her right hand (curled up fingers due to shortened ligaments/tendons) so no chance of her using her right hand for much, just her thumb and first finger useable. I JUST managed to get her to sign her name once each scrawled with those two fingers as Mum, Gran, great gran, Ruth etc), which I will photocopy for the Christmas cards.
From time to time a bit of her personality peeps through.
I really hope she enjoys having her family around her tomorrow - we are a close family including her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, brothers and remaining sister and nieces and nephews.
It's really sad to see mum go down hill like she has. The NH appear to be very kind and caring and she has about 5 visits a week (I cut my own visits down from every day to 3 times a week which I had been doing for the previous 18 months as it was getting too much and I have other problems going on with children and grandchildren so can't be everywhere).
Carastro
Last edited:
I hadn't read your previous posts (beginning of this one) and what a horrible journey you've had. It does seem obvious that decisions taken by LA are all money driven rather than best interests driven.
Pleased you didn't in the end need to use a solicitor to fight for you.
How was the party for your mum's 90th?
Apparantly, this isn't true Dupuytren's but is fairly common with dementia I'm afraid. My husband has been suffering with this for some time and a number of others on TP have relatives who are too.
My husband keeps getting pressure sores there which can become infected due to the awkwardness of getting inside the fist to both clean and dry the palm, not helped by my husband being unwilling to allow anyone to go near the hand because it seems to be very painful. He cannot use the hand at all and I understand that this is partly the cause of this happening in the first place. He has also lost a nail due to infection and has a deep pit in his palm where his ring finger has dug into it. He is a diabetic so the GP is concerned that gangrene does not set in so he has had many courses of ABs to sort the infections out.
I hope your mother's hand is far less problematic.
I would just like to say that my MIL (sadly died in 2012) also had this contracture of one of her hands, fingers completely closed against her palm, the nursing home got the physio. in, who arranged for a sheepskin palm protecter which was held in place with a velcro strap around her wrist, helped stop the palms becoming wet and sweaty (that was when the nursing home had it on the correct hand!) I also used to take it home to wash, to keep it fresh, both of her legs also contracted badly.
That's rather interesting about the Dupuytrens and dementia, I must look into it further. Yes I have spoken to the home about keeping it clean and was concerned about mum's nails digging into her palm so I cut them whenever I get the chance. Yes I did wonder about some sort of palm protector, I might look into this too.
I've attached a photo of her. I got her hair done beforehand and my brother bought her the lovely red top for the party.
Carastro
The party went very well and mum enjoyed it. It has been some time since she was sat out in a wheelchair and the party was 2 hours, so she did very well. Unfortunately she didn't recognise every-one there, but recognised enough family to enjoy the day (26 guests in all).
I've attached a photo of her. I got her hair done beforehand and my brother bought her the lovely red top for the party.
Carastro
Attachments
Last edited:
I am so pleased your Mum survived the experiences from 6 months ago. You may want to put it all behind you but I think you should consider putting in a letter of complaint to Social Services about the way they handled your Mum's case and all the stress they caused.
If your mother was frequently falling, she should have had an urgent OT assessment. My Mum didn't have any falls but was getting increasingly unsteady just standing to go on the commode and lost her ability to walk. The OT decided she needed to be hoisted so we had a mobile hoist. These are used in care homes as well. The CH should have looked into this when she reached this stage. My Mum too is now bed bound, has a hospital profile bed and airflow mattress. Unfortunately, their muscles do get weaker but it is inevitable and at least they are safe from any more injury.
Your Mum looks lovely on her 90th birthday. I am glad she is now being well looked after. It is surprising how tough that generation are and what they can survive.
If your mother was frequently falling, she should have had an urgent OT assessment. My Mum didn't have any falls but was getting increasingly unsteady just standing to go on the commode and lost her ability to walk. The OT decided she needed to be hoisted so we had a mobile hoist. These are used in care homes as well. The CH should have looked into this when she reached this stage. My Mum too is now bed bound, has a hospital profile bed and airflow mattress. Unfortunately, their muscles do get weaker but it is inevitable and at least they are safe from any more injury.
Your Mum looks lovely on her 90th birthday. I am glad she is now being well looked after. It is surprising how tough that generation are and what they can survive.
I hadn't thought about that, though not sure if I want to rock the boat now.
I am trying to remember now whether she was seen by an OT. But the main problem was her getting up to go to the loo on her own, if the carers saw her they would go and help her, but behind closed doors in the privacy of her own room, they did not know when she got up.
Carole
I have resurrected this old post to say that despite being in poor health, unable to do anything for herself, needs to be fed, washed and dressed and is incontinent, mum has just celebrated her 91st birthday. We didn't even think she would make it to her 90th last year!!!
Having said that of course, her quality of life is not good, but they are have been taking her downstairs to the lounge each day to join in the social activities. She is not really capable, but at least she has company and there are things going on around her.
She has been able to see her 3rd great grandchild who is now a toddler.
It is however awful to see her in such a debilitated state.
Carastro
Having said that of course, her quality of life is not good, but they are have been taking her downstairs to the lounge each day to join in the social activities. She is not really capable, but at least she has company and there are things going on around her.
She has been able to see her 3rd great grandchild who is now a toddler.
It is however awful to see her in such a debilitated state.
Carastro
Thanks for keeping this thread updated, I haven't had anything to say about it but read your awful journey with interest. I am sorry your Mum isn't so good now but I am glad she has family to visit her. What a difficult time you have had. 91? That's young, my Mum is 97 and seems keen to keep going until at least 100!
My Mother is being assessed.
Hi I am new to this site, this is my first post, My Mother is 85 and has Alzheimers, she has recently had a fall and is currently in hospital, i am hoping she will be allowed home with some home help, my Brother and my husband thinks she will need full time care? if this is the case will we have to sell her house? to pay for the care? My Mother does not want her house sold to pay for her care as she has left it in her will for her four children. If anyone can give me some advice i would appreciate it. thanks in advance.
Hi I am new to this site, this is my first post
, My Mother is 85 and has Alzheimers, she has recently had a fall and is currently in hospital, i am hoping she will be allowed home with some home help, my Brother and my husband thinks she will need full time care? if this is the case will we have to sell her house? to pay for the care? My Mother does not want her house sold to pay for her care as she has left it in her will for her four children. If anyone can give me some advice i would appreciate it. thanks in advance.Hi Mares, you really need to start your own thread so you get more answers as this one is quite old. If you go to the "I care for a person with dementia" forum you'll see a grey box on the right hand side which says "post new thread". If you click on that, you'll be able to put your question in. Don't forget to click on the "Submit Reply" box at the bottom 0- I'm not trying to be patronising, I forget it all the time
hi Mares and welcome, I'll answer on here anyway. First any savings your Mum has will be looked at. Then then local authority will look at the value of the house. She may not have to sell it, you can 'borrow' money against it on what is called a deferred payment scheme but as an asset, unless there are any other circumstances such as that someone else lives there, it will be considered for part of her funding. Unless of course she qualifies for full funding by the local authority but that is another story. It doesn't matter who she has left it to in her will, if it belongs to her, it is part of her assessable assets. I know it is tough but time to get familiar with the process of assessment, there is masses of info on here. Good luck
Just to say that nobody is ever fully funded by the Local Authority and not even assisted by them if they have assets over £23.250.
I'm afraid a Will means nothing until a person dies,.
It is the NHS via the Continuing Health Care funding who might cover all costs but this is intended for serious health needs and is not easy to obtain. Certain criteria have to be attained and interpretation of these can vary between health authorities.
You might want to try though if you think your mother's needs might qualify but dementia on its own rarely does.
There are numerous threads on here related to this so it might help to look at a few if you decide to go down this path.
Best of luck.
Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point mobile app
I'm afraid a Will means nothing until a person dies,.
It is the NHS via the Continuing Health Care funding who might cover all costs but this is intended for serious health needs and is not easy to obtain. Certain criteria have to be attained and interpretation of these can vary between health authorities.
You might want to try though if you think your mother's needs might qualify but dementia on its own rarely does.
There are numerous threads on here related to this so it might help to look at a few if you decide to go down this path.
Best of luck.
Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point mobile app
