What was I thinking??

[molly11]

How bizarre- I said to my mother a couple of days ago that the pain from my father passing, has gone. It's still very real & always will be.Just that I no longer cry at the mention of his name
Walked in my house last eve & a wave of sadness & grief took over me. I sat listening to songs that reminded me of him & just cried & cried.
I find it hard to believe that my beloved Dad would want me so upset, but someone did??


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[Badietta]

Hi Molly

I was just the same when my mother, then my father went. One minute I felt under control, then the next I was in buckets of tears. I've come to realize that this is normal, and a healthy response, so just go with it. I'm so very sorry that you are having to go through this as it's horrible. My thoughts are with you.

Badietta

 

[lin1]

Hi Molly.
I have found Grief comes and goes for a long time.
My mum died a little over 4 yrs ago, a song or memory can still catch me out at times.
Just go with the flow, cry when you need to and be patient with yourself , it does take time.
XXX

 

[Jessbow]

I have lost both my parents in the last 2 years, first my beloved dad to undiagnosed cancer, then Mum with Dementia.

You feel as though you can see a chink of light ''I WILL SURVIVE THIS'' and then something with cover that light - be it a song on the radio, a comment on the TV or in my case, a smell. ( My old Dad loved a bonfire!)

I don't think it will ever go away, but those self same stimulus will provoke good memories as well as sad ones. Cry when you need, but enjoy the warmth that happy memories do too

 

[kingmidas1962]

I think finding things that make you cry is just finding a space to allow yourself to be sad - which is perfectly natural - and actually much healthier than bottling it all up. My dad died in August and I'm mostly OK - but I have days (Saturday was one) when I feel unspeakably sad, for apparently no particular reason.

I found this analogy (used at the university where I worked in Counsellor Training) really useful. It explains that grief doesn't diminish as we expect it to - but that our life grows round it as time goes on. We used to give this to the students as part of their grief and bereavement training and I don't think anyone ever said it wasn't really useful!

 

[grouse]

that analogy is perfect

sometimes I get annoyed at myself that I'm not "moving forward" or "getting over it", but thats not how it happens, is it?

its always there the grief, but life grows around it

 

[Pickles53]

Thank you for posting this Kingmidas1962. Sometimes a picture really does speak a thousand words.