My mum has toilet problems - any advice please

[tim needs help]

We are having a terrible time trying to care for Mum at home. She has forgotten how to use the toilet and needs help and encouragement. Recently it's getting worse as she no longer knows how to poo. We sit with her and try and talk her thru the process but she does not understand. If we give her laxitives it makes it worse as she just poos everywhere. Any one got any tips or ideas
Thanks

 

[AlsoConfused]

I think your best bet is to get expert advice and help from the Incontinence Nurse (job titles vary). Plse ask your GP practice to arrange a visit ASAP.

Good luck! This is such a heart-rending problem to deal with.

 

[tim needs help]

Thanks yes we have had a visit from the IN nurse but basically all she did was suggest pads and pants. It is so hard because Mum has no idea how to make it come out and it is hard trying to help.

I think your best bet is to get expert advice and help from the Incontinence Nurse (job titles vary). Plse ask your GP practice to arrange a visit ASAP.

Good luck! This is such a heart-rending problem to deal with.

 

[susy]

If she has forgotten how to go and when you have gone through it with her and she still doesn't understand then I'm sorry to say that she will probably just "go" when her body makes it happen. Therefore the pads and pants are needed I'm afraid, along with cleaning stuff for her bum afterwards.
Is she constipated? If not then laxatives are a bad idea. Try your best to ensure she is hydrated and eats reasonably.
This is one of the most horrible parts of this disease. I'm so sorry that this is happening.

 

[tim needs help]

I know you are right

Thanks for your reply - yes I know you are right - just sometimes you hope there is something that would make it easier for her and for us. I know we just have to get on with it.

If she has forgotten how to go and when you have gone through it with her and she still doesn't understand then I'm sorry to say that she will probably just "go" when her body makes it happen. Therefore the pads and pants are needed I'm afraid, along with cleaning stuff for her bum afterwards.
Is she constipated? If not then laxatives are a bad idea. Try your best to ensure she is hydrated and eats reasonably.
This is one of the most horrible parts of this disease. I'm so sorry that this is happening.

 

[twinklestar]

A short time ago we had a toilet problem with mum. Basically, she got up in the night to pee and missed so it was all over the floor. There were little puddles previously but after this event we spoke to our Community Matron and she got us a prescription fro a commode.

We picked it up and as usually happens with these things mum was ok so it just sat there for the right moment. Well, now is the right moment.

Recently, mum has been tired and last night would not take her tablets. Well, at least not from me. The long and the short of it was she decided to go to bed very early. As she was so tired she got into bed fully clothed. This morning I realised I had not heard her in the night and when I went to wake her up I realised why - damp patch on floor. Damp slippers and skirt she was wearing in bed. She had put the slippers and skirt in waste paper bin by her bed - so not so daft. Once I had given mum her morning tablets and cleaned everything up I mentioned the commode. Mum thought it was a good idea.

As I sit here typing this, the commode is near mum's bed (with a mat under it just in case). So hopefully, that problem is solved, for now. We have yet to see how this works in the middle of the night but at least the commode is in place. This is in itself a small victory

I cannot imagine what you are going through with your problem but my initial thoughts are continence aids, hydration and a good diet. Personally, I would not use laxatives unless you really have to.

 

[Oxy]

Too much laxative is so so so awful to clear up. Never again-it took me three days to clean toilet and to get rid of stench.
If she has diverticular disease, then it is difficult for it to come out as faeces get stuck/caught in the pockets that form. Unfortunately c gives the masses a helping hand to come out and does not always remember to use gloves provided. Hard to clean finger nails then and positively unpleasant!
Try a softening agent like lactulose-Dr will give on prescription if necessary to help it out. She may have of course lost sensation that it's necessary to try. If compacted because of too little fibre, medication or too little fluid intake, Laxido does help. Better if can be achieved naturally though.

 

[tim needs help]

Thanks for your post. We have a commode but Mum will not use as she says it frightens her. We can get her to the loo but then she cannot make anything come out. Sometimes she pleads with me to pull the stuff out of her bottom. It is very sad. She does have a good diet - she has been vegetarian for 68 years.

A short time ago we had a toilet problem with mum. Basically, she got up in the night to pee and missed so it was all over the floor. There were little puddles previously but after this event we spoke to our Community Matron and she got us a prescription fro a commode.

We picked it up and as usually happens with these things mum was ok so it just sat there for the right moment. Well, now is the right moment.

Recently, mum has been tired and last night would not take her tablets. Well, at least not from me. The long and the short of it was she decided to go to bed very early. As she was so tired she got into bed fully clothed. This morning I realised I had not heard her in the night and when I went to wake her up I realised why - damp patch on floor. Damp slippers and skirt she was wearing in bed. She had put the slippers and skirt in waste paper bin by her bed - so not so daft. Once I had given mum her morning tablets and cleaned everything up I mentioned the commode. Mum thought it was a good idea.

As I sit here typing this, the commode is near mum's bed (with a mat under it just in case). So hopefully, that problem is solved, for now. We have yet to see how this works in the middle of the night but at least the commode is in place. This is in itself a small victory

I cannot imagine what you are going through with your problem but my initial thoughts are continence aids, hydration and a good diet. Personally, I would not use laxatives unless you really have to.

 

[tim needs help]

Thanks for your reply - yes will ask doc for some Laxido that may help

Too much laxative is so so so awful to clear up. Never again-it took me three days to clean toilet and to get rid of stench.
If she has diverticular disease, then it is difficult for it to come out as faeces get stuck/caught in the pockets that form. Unfortunately c gives the masses a helping hand to come out and does not always remember to use gloves provided. Hard to clean finger nails then and positively unpleasant!
Try a softening agent like lactulose-Dr will give on prescription if necessary to help it out. She may have of course lost sensation that it's necessary to try. If compacted because of too little fibre, medication or too little fluid intake, Laxido does help. Better if can be achieved naturally though.

 

[lin1]

Hello. I had the same problem with my mum. Mum's was compounded in that she was often constipated partly due to refusing to drink enough.
A district nurse once explained , that mums colon may not be working properly due to age and dementia.
Now I don't know if this was the case with my mum.
After having 2 call out the district nurse lots of times, to give mum enemas , I spoke 2 the GP who prescribed Movicol , I believe it's name has been changed , like Lactulose it is not a laxative , it takes more fluid into the bowels and is suitable for long term use.

It took a while for me to get the daily dose right , as I found I had to keep mum softer than normal, sorry for being so graphic.

 

[carer21]

Just an idea......when inco nurse visited us one of the best bits of advice we had was once mum on loo or commode to try and make things happen put her feet up from floor on to an upturned washbowl so she had something to push down on once encouraged. Works a treat for her when necessary. Also occasional lactulose with no lasting effects.

 

[jawuk]

My husband had this problem for a couple of months and had no idea how to 'make' himself evacuate leading to what looked like faecal incontinence. His emissions were messy but small volume and I began to suspect that what came out was seepage and that his bowel was impacted although on two occasions our GP said not.

On Oct 26th he became most unwell and was admitted to hospital. A scan showed that his bowel was entirely distended and because of his symptoms a perforated bowel was suspected but very fortunately that hasn't turned out to be the case.

He has now been entirely bedbound since 26/10 and cannot even sit up independently when on 25/10 he walked 3 miles in a country park. He is shortly to be moved to a rehab ward but I was told that improvement in both his mental and physical decline are possible but not very probable and that he is likely to spend the rest of his life bedbound.

Were it now early October again I would be insisting that the District nurse give my husband sufficient enemas to be 100% certain that his bowel was cleared.