Care home advice please

Miss A

Registered User
Oct 26, 2012
62
0
The South West
Hi all,

Sadly I am starting to research care homes in my local area. I can foresee making a difficult decision for my Dad in the not too distant future. Dad has VD and Alzheimer's.

I am here to ask for any advice from people who have already undergone this difficult research? What questions should I ask? What should I look out for or be aware of?

I'm very upset about having to do this so any help would be gratefully received.

Thanks in advance xx


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Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
5,678
0
Midlands
Be our own judge, and go with what you think is right.

Be aware of smells - any smells- we smalls /poo smells or 'unwashed' smells.

Take in the environment- Vases of flowers are lovely - but not essential, I'd rather see more thinks to do/books/treats (whatever)

Do the people seems happy? I don't mean nessesarily smiling , but calm and not agitated, a certain amount of hubbub, or do they all sit round the walls in silence.

Is the atmosphere 'alive' or is it dead quiet? Is their banter going on between staff and residents? ( I loved that!)

You will get a feel for places, you'll either like them or you wont.

Ask questions about things that matter to you.What mattered to me maybe different ( I didn't want my corralled into taking part in activities)
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Make sure the CH can accommodate your Dad's needs. Be honest about what your Dad can/can't do. Let them know of any challenging behaviour-I found that SW's don't always do that. Ask them what the 'back up' team consists of i.e district nurses etc. Visit unannounced.More than once. Go on your instincts. Remember that the all singing/ all dancing CH's are not always the best.

Take care and good luck

Lyn T
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
0
SW London
Avoid any that ask you to make an appointment just for an initial look around. Any good CH should be happy for you to do this at any reasonable hour.

Smart or 'stylish' decor does not necessarily indicate the best care. Equally, a little bit shabby may well not indicate the reverse.

One thing I really noticed when looking for my mother was relative layouts. Are the bedrooms down miles of corridors, or close to the communal areas? Ditto any outside space - is there free access, if this might be important, and if so, is it quite secure? One of the CHs I looked at had a lovely garden, but residents were not allowed out there unless accompanied, because of a lot of steps and uneven bits.

Do the staff look (reasonably) cheerful? If you can, it's good to ask any how long they've been there, since high turnover can be a bad sign.

I do think gut instinct can play a big part in choosing a CH. You may have looked at quite a few and despaired, but the next may just feel right. We looked at lots for both FIL and my mother, but got there in the end.

Good luck!
 

Miss A

Registered User
Oct 26, 2012
62
0
The South West
Thank you all for your messages, it's been nice reading them and have given me food for thought.

Just one more question..,this may sounds silly but when visiting the care homes did you take the person in question who had dementia?

Thanks xx


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LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Thank you all for your messages, it's been nice reading them and have given me food for thought.

Just one more question..,this may sounds silly but when visiting the care homes did you take the person in question who had dementia?

Thanks xx


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I didn't, but my Husband was in a secure Mental Health unit at the time and very advanced with his Dementia

Lyn T XXX
 

flossielime

Registered User
May 8, 2014
201
0
I've looked at 11 care homes in the last few weeks - I have to say you know soon as you get through the door really. " smelt terrible. Plus my mum has been in a NH for a while.

My tips:
  • Set a basic criteria of absolute musts - my were access to outdoor space and en- suite (I have now learnt I should of checked who had these before visiting)
  • Show up unannounced rather than making an appointment
  • Ask about activities- are there regular small scale things like bingo and domino's rather then big showy events like 'poppy picnic' and Christmas fairs - no real interest to residents but look good to 'some' relatives and head office.
  • Depending on who is showing you round - try to get a feel about staff turnover and English skills of staff. Some homes have high staff turnover & use lots of agency staff others I have found have some staff who struggle to communicate in English.
  • i have found (understandable) that homes dont want you to look in the dining room at meal times but try to get a feel for meals and will they accommodate preferences.
But I think the bottom line you just get a feel for a place - I suppose like buying a house or choosing a school for you kids I have just know instinctively when a place feel right.
 
Last edited:

flossielime

Registered User
May 8, 2014
201
0
I did not take my dad on each visit. But the 2 I have on the waiting list for I have now taken him to see. I made the decision - he does not want to go into a home and does not have the capacity to decide.

My mum is in a NH and has capacity but I chose her too but that was because she was coming out of hospital into a care home so we needed to make a decision quickly. I have offered to take her to see a couple of the better NHs I saw but she if happy with my first choice. So that has boasted my confidence in terms of choosing for my dad.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
0
SW London
Thank you all for your messages, it's been nice reading them and have given me food for thought.

Just one more question..,this may sounds silly but when visiting the care homes did you take the person in question who had dementia?

Thanks xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app

We didn't. With my FIL we did take him to see the home we finally chose before he actually went in, but TBH he didn't really understand what was going on.

We didn't involve my mother at all. Quite apart from the fact that it was almost impossible to get her to leave the house at all, we knew she would never have seen the need for any CH, however nice it was, although her dementia was very bad by then.

I certainly would not take anyone for initial checking out - any disappointing or frankly depressing one could easily turn them right against the whole business. I would only take them to see any that are definite 'possibles' , if that makes sense. Though of course a lot will depend on the individual, and whether they are open to the idea in the first place. But so many are not, and sadly it often seems that the worse dementia gets, the less someone is inclined to recognise their own need for care.
 

henfenywfach

Registered User
May 23, 2013
332
0
rct
Hi all,

Sadly I am starting to research care homes in my local area. I can foresee making a difficult decision for my Dad in the not too distant future. Dad has VD and Alzheimer's.

I am here to ask for any advice from people who have already undergone this difficult research? What questions should I ask? What should I look out for or be aware of?

I'm very upset about having to do this so any help would be gratefully received.

Thanks in advance xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app

Hi!..I would read the inspection reports on all homes you look at..it tells warts and all..then you can see what they are like under the posh wallpaper..and noticeboards....lets face it we have high standards for our loved ones..trust your instinct..it ll tell you if you could be happy with a particular one....its hard enough to make a decision ..good luck..

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Annebags

Registered User
Sep 2, 2014
45
0
Essex
I would just add trust your instincts. Is it somewhere that you would feel happy visiting? Visit at different times of the day. Sometimes it can seem very different from mornings to evenings.

Chat to the staff. Can you imagine talking to them on a daily / weekly basis? I chose mum's home largely on the quality of the staff and distance from my home (don't underestimate that if you are visiting frequently).

In addition to the CQC reports, which I found often fairly bland, have a look at Healthwatch reports if they exist for your area - far more detailed and critical. Having said all that, I visited about 10 homes and chose one which had had a poor report. Sometimes a home which has had a poor report is much more aware of what they need to change and activities are in place to amend it.
 

Aitchbee

Registered User
Nov 3, 2013
87
0
Having been through the same difficult process, here are my thoughts:

Find out the ratio of carers to residents
Watch how the staff interact with the residents
Try and get to speak to the manager. Make an appointment to see them if they are not available on the first visit. I think a good or bad manager can have quite a big influence on whether a home is good (or not)

In the end it is about finding a place that you feel you have confidence in

All the best in your search
 

CJW

Registered User
Sep 22, 2013
212
0
Somewhere that might feel "like home" to your loved one. Not too big, room not too far. Try for ground floor room as mobility may be an issue later on. Check whether they can cope with late stage dementia. What happens if aggression or antisocial behaviour becomes a problem? If nursing needs increase will they cope with district nurses help or will you have to make another move to NH. Check out the residents...do they look like people your father might have been friends with. Talk to them, but take their answers with a pinch of salt.
Once you have seen a few you will start to know what you do and dont want. Good luck.....
 

babystar

Registered User
Apr 10, 2013
132
0
I asked a similar question the other day as we are now looking to move Mum in to a care home.

We went to see one that was quite central in location for all three children. We were shown round by someone who provided lots of information regarding the home, as well as the regularity of activities, and staffing levels. They showed a genuine interest in Mum (who didn’t come with us) and spent a fair while discussing what her needs may be. The place was clean, it didn’t smell. Many residents were sat in communal areas and chatting with staff. The home was all on one level with access to a large garden. Residents can come and go as they please (obviously Mum would not be doing this by herself!) but family members can come and collect and drop off relatives as and when they like. They had a dementia section but residents were not restricted to this in any way and could go where they please. They could eat their meals where they like. We liked it but felt we should visit another one to compare.

The second one was a different story. We were in and out in ten minutes. No questions about Mum. It smelt like wee. Didn’t see many staff. Appeared there may have been a higher number of foreign staff due to signs taped up in different languages (nothing against foreign workers but communication with a dementia sufferer can be hard enough without the added problem of them not being understand someone). It was over two levels but stairs were out of bounds to residents who had to use a lift (and Mum has never liked these). To be honest we just had a feeling that this was not the place we wanted Mum to be.

When we left we were straight on the phone to the first home we visited to arrange an assessment (which is today!) This could be done at Mum’s home or at the care home and we chose to take Mum to the care home to do it so she has a chance to see and we can try and gauge a reaction. Unfortunately Mum’s communication and understanding is quite minimal, and even if she understands what’s going on “inside” I doubt she will be able to express her feelings. So we won’t know if she knows. The mental health GP has suggested it would be too confusing to explain about moving to a home and just to say that she is going to stay there for a little while, and to keep saying that until eventually, hopefully, she will get used to it.

Try and think about how you yourself would feel if you had to move in – is it somewhere you would live?
 

Stanleigh

Registered User
Jun 13, 2014
8
0
At the end of the day my decision to place my dad was made for me, only certain CH will take dementia with wandering. My dad even managed to scale a wall and escape in the first week he was there. It's not the best home and I wonder every day if I've made the right decision (8 months now), but I console myself with the fact that he is safe and warm, and being fed. You will have good and bad visits when you do find a home, but keep in mind the bigger picture that your loved one is safe, and you can hopefully sleep a bit easier too. Good luck on your journey.


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