tired of losing my mum :(

[hopefulasever]

My mum was diagnosed exactly three years ago today and I feel a bit of a wreck. I'm so tired of continually losing her, I just want her back she was diagnosed when she was 55 and I was only 19, I expected that by the age of 22 I'd be able to adjust and cope but it seems harder now than it did back then - I thought things were meant to get better with time.
How do you cope with continually losing someone you love?

 

[Haylett]

I don't know, hopefulasever. I lost my Mum last year, and I am considerably older than you. How hard to be so young, both of you. All I can say is to love her as much as you can, and to live as much as you can, because your Mum, whatever happens, is still there loving you and wanting only the best for you. Be there when you can be and don't feel bad for the time that you can't. As a mum, I can tell you that I would never want my sons' young lives to be crippled by mine. So when you are with her, make every second as special as it can be so there are no regrets later, and try to be happy too, as happy as you can be, in your own life. Remember that your Mum also lives on in you.

I hope you have good and close friends around you who will help and support you. I couldn't have managed without mine.

 

[daughter783]

I don't have the answers. Just want you to know you're not alone. My mom is still in the process of getting a specific diagnosis, but dementia has been confirmed, and she has had symptoms for years now. I am 29 and have a 26 year old sister. It is so painful to watch her slip away at such a young age. It seems so unfair. I feel like we have to grieve the loss of the mother we once knew, our old expectations of her, etc. and try our best to love and appreciate this new person we have before us. One day at a time. Hugs to you, hang in there, you're not alone!

 

[bilslin]

hopefulasever. Ah your so young to have this on your shoulders. Your similar age to my youngest. I would hate for him to be going through what you are going through. I hope you've got loads of family and friends to give you support. So you can have some life past this horrible disease. Its hard enough when your older like me but your just starting out on your adult life and I'm sure your mum would want you to have alife so I hope your getting the help you need. You've come to the right place here. Linda xx

 

[LoriAustralia]

Yes very testing

My mum was diagnosed exactly three years ago today and I feel a bit of a wreck. I'm so tired of continually losing her, I just want her back she was diagnosed when she was 55 and I was only 19, I expected that by the age of 22 I'd be able to adjust and cope but it seems harder now than it did back then - I thought things were meant to get better with time.
How do you cope with continually losing someone you love?

Hi my mum has AD is 62 and i'm 32 she was diagnosed about 5 years ago and the doctor told us she has had it for more than ten years. I thought the same that I would find it a lot easier the more I got used to the idea of my mum having the disease but it hasn't it has been a hard struggle to watch her decline and to try and stay positive. It is a constant battle of trying to laugh instead of cry. The only thing that I take comfort in is that my mum is still here we still laugh together and my kids get to spend time with her we all do she is not in pain. You are a lot younger than me and you have a lot more of living to do while also living through this awful disease through your mum. I hope you find this site helpful in the least that you are not alone and there are a lot of good posts with support. Take care thinking of you

 

[Kate and jack]

I agree with what everyone else has already said.its the hardest thing that I've ever had to do ,look after and watch my mum slip away,and feeling so helpless too. I feel that's it gut wrenching most of the time.i cope by going to the local gym ,this helps me cope for the nxt day.i do have a few good friends and a good supportive husband too.my mums family ,however are useless. Take everyday as it comes ,unfortunately we can't change anything ,but we can treasure the people we love ,by being the best we can be by them .

 

[Flower Lady]

Struggling sometimes!

Hi all,
I have been reading all you blogs and they are so sad it is such a struggle isn't it!

I'm caring for my husband age 54 diagnosed 2010 as you say they are slowly slipping from your fingers and no longer the person they were so very sad!

I am are lucky I suppose that we do have support from my eldest son and his amazing wife but I still feel so very lonely, as I dont want to burden them with all that gone's on as they would be so upset, so many many times you just say "yes things are fine" so that's why I have decided to join TPoint as I'm sure it will help to share my thoughts and to know I'm not the only one.

Big hugs to you all xxxxxxx

So I will carry on reading your stories while my husband is out for the afternoon with his support worker who is also amazing!!

 

[lucky]

My mum was diagnosed at 59 and I was 29 with two young children. I know how u all feel and it's so sad that this terrible illness impacts on so many families. It's scary how quickly some people decline. My mum has declined a lot this year but we have been told the earlier you develop it the quicker the decline. I just hope that the money raised from everyones hard efforts eventually finds a cure.

Every day does get harder but we are all so strong we put our loved ones first.

I find T.P very useful and people are always there for you and understand. I think it's very hard for others to understand if you haven't experienced dementia personally.

Thinking of you all

Lucky x

 

[AlexEJ]

Hi everyone.

I'm new to this, but really felt the need to find the support of others who are going through similar situations.

I'm 28 and my mum was diagnosed a couple of years ago. I live about 2.5 hours drive from my parents so feel very guilty that I'm not there as much as I'd like, but I have a young family and I work. Does anyone else feel like this?

My dad is a superstar and is my mums carer, but he has recently had a heart operation. I am really struggling with things at the minute. I have bottled up my emotions for so long, I cry at lot at the minute and just want to know I'm not alone.

Xx

 

[beapriest]

Hi

I am in a similar situation to many of you here. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when he was 64 and I was 27 and my sister 23. Now I am 31. He has been living at home with my mum for three years. Earlier this year she was finding it very difficult to continue and so lonely because he cannot have a conversation any more.

Through some friends, I organised for a girl from Italy to come and live with my parents. She is the same age as my younger sister and trained as a nurse. She's come here to improve her English before finding a job in a hosptial. It's been amazing because mum feels like she has a new daughter, we feel like we have a new sister and she has given us a new lease of life. Dad loved having a new face at home.

Unfortunately, Dad has got so much worse now that we are looking at nursing care.
But, I just wanted to say to you that it's important to stay strong and positive. It is possible to think of creative ways that you can help people and carers through this terrible disease, even if the doctors and social services don't offer any help at all.

Bea

 

[ceroc46]

I thought it also got easier, but I'm finding the opposite.

It gets more difficult for me to accept this, as each day goes by. I find I'm continuously thinking about Mum and how unfair it is, to the point I'm thinking of going to the doctors ,as I'm constantly on the verge of tears. And it's affecting my day to day life.

I wish I knew the answers.