Coming to the end

[Margarita]

Margarita [[[hugs]]]] Sheila xx

 

[Nell]

Linda, Angie, Sheila

Such a sad and difficult time for you. My heart goes out to each of you. May your loved ones pass on in comfort and may you find peace in the knowledge that their suffering is over.

For each of you, many {{{HUGS}}}

 

[lindaw]

Thank you so much Shelia. I feel for you so much, it is heartbreaking to sit and watch.
Mum rallied for a little after she heard the word 'hospital'.
the dietician came and wanted her sent to hospital to have a drip put in, but the nurses told them of my 'no intervention'.
That dietician told them I was being 'cruel', but the nurses backed me up. I am grateful for that.
That evening, Mum took some fluid, but she is not taking much.
they say that she is fighting, so I have to go with Mum, and fight with her, but I still will allow no intervention when the time comes. I will know what Mum wants, I think.
I will keep you in my thoughts Sheila
Linda

Hi Linda,
I am sitting here crying as I am typing this. I really know how you are feeling as my mom is heading this way. Mom broke her hip in the last home she was in and spent six weeks in hospital, waiting to be placed in a nursing home. Now she is there she is declining very fast. She cannot walk and her legs are still in the same position as when she was sat in the chair. She doesn't talk much and when she does try you can just understand the odd word or two. She is almost always sleeping. She is gradually decreasing her food intake but we always give her a drink whenever we are there.
We too have asked for no intervention when that time comes and it seems it won't be far away. My mom would hate to see herself like this and we can see she is now giving up.
I hold her hand, stroke her face and tell her how much I love her, She does manage to say " love you" . It's so hard to hold back the tears and although I have tried to be strong the last couple of visits I have not been able to hold it back. I love her so much. My dad passed away 11 years ago and we have put a photo of him where mom can see it, he is kneeling down with his arms held out to her, as if he is waiting for her.
She is almost ready and we are hoping she goes to him quietly in her sleep.
It's heartbreaking to see your mom like this, you think your parents will always be there.
Know your not alone,
Take Care
Sheila

 

[lindaw]

Thank you to everyone here for all the lovely messages of support, it really does help so much
Linda

 

[jenniferpa]

Linda, I just want to say that I'm absolutely appalled by that dietician's attitude. I understand that you're focusing on the situation in hand, and have no energy for anything else, but in other circumstances I think a strongly worded letter of complaint would be in order.

So very sorry that you've had to deal with this ignorance at this difficult time

Love

 

[suptowngirl]

coming to an end

Thank you all so much for your thoughts.
My mom was taken into hospital at 4.30 this morning. She has Pneumonia and Septicemia. She developed a bed sore after her last stay in hospital as they didn't fit a cathetta when she had surgery for her broken hip. She had to lie in a soiled bed because they believe the special air mattress she had wouldn't work if she wore a pad or lay on one.

She was very sore when she went into her nursing home, they have done their best but it was too far gone and the skin broke.

I saw the bed sore the other day and it was horrendous. It is a big hole and if I was to put a golf ball in there it would drop in and get lost. I'm sorry if you think I am being crude but that is the only way I can describe it.

Mom has been confined to bed for the last 4 weeks and has slept most of that time, she has had 1 good day in about 5.
Yesterday she took no food or drinks before I got there but I managed to give her a cup of tea and a cup full of juice. She looked very ill so the call this morning was really not news we didn't expect.

She is on morphine but they are not really expecting the antibiotics to work.
We have told them not to intervene when the time comes which they have said will be soon. Mom ha suffered enough for too long.

Watching and waiting for your mom to die is unbearable. Trying to hold on and not break down.
She knows we are there as she has squeezed our hands when we have spoken to her.

We have sat there all day talking of our childhood and laughing at some of our childhood antics hoping she can here us.

The pain is unbearable. My mom is dying and I can't do anything for her. She has taken care of me all my life and now it has come to this.

I will go to bed but not to sleep, just in case we have " that" call.

Thank you for listening, I suppose it does help to let go of some of your feelings.

Suptowngirl

 

[Grannie G]

Dear suptowngirl

Our thoughts will be with you during this dreadful time. Please use TP as often as you wish, there will always be someone here for you.

I hope your mother isn`t suffering, that they have given her pain relief if she needs it.

Take care

Love xx

 

[Skye]

Dear suptowngirl, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mum.

It is awful, watchiing your mum die and knowing that there is nothing that will help, but your mum will be comfortable and at peace now. She knows you love her, and that you have been with her today, holding her hand. That's all you can do, just let her feel your love.

She won't be suffering, the morphine will see to that. Try to sleep, you may have another difficult day tomorrow, there's no knowing how long this will take.

Love and hugs,