Eyes & ears

[Grandma Joan]

We have to be everything for them don't we. When helping MIL put her slippers on the other day I was appalled how long her toe nails were. She must notice them but of course can't reach down to do them anymore and forgets to tell me they need cutting, so that's on a regular appointment now.

Smell - MIL doesn't seem to notice when the milk has gone off
She doesn't recognise when food is out of date
She eats cakes & biscuits but none of the frozen ready meals in the freezer
We call her every day to remind her to take her meds

She stacks the washing up beautifully by the washing up bowl but doesn't actually do it.

Local hospice took a Direct Debit mandate from her on the doorstep the other day - I was so cross. Phoned them up and lady said their caller shouldn't have done that as they are trained to recognise people with Dementia - oh yes?? How do you do that then?? My MIL is brilliant at giving the impression she is fine!

MIL went for her regular INR blood test the other day (Warfarin) (volunteers collect her and return her home) & practice nurse gave her a universal bottle to take home and provide a wee specimen. Honestly - she won't remember to do that!! She won't remember where it came from or what it's for. And that's a practice nurse!! Why didn't she take it from her when she was there??

And scratching, she scratches all the time, arms, legs, shoulders, covered in scabs, she scratches constantly. It's not a life or death problem but it's incredibly hard to spend any length of time with someone who is constantly scratching and doesn't realise she is doing it.

So it goes on, and occassionally I have to let off steam. Our plight is nothing compared to most. Have a good weekend everyone

 

[Onlyme]

MIL went for her regular INR blood test the other day (Warfarin) (volunteers collects her and returns her home) & practice nurse gave her a specimen bottle to take home and provide a wee specimen. Honestly - she won't remember to do that!! She won't remember where it came from or what it's for. And that's a practice nurse!! Why didn't she take it from her when she was there??

Sometimes you do have to question who has the mental health issues!

 

[lin1]

Sometimes you do have to question who has the mental health issues!

I wish we had a like button
Have thought the same myself many a time when Mum was here .

 

[lin1]

Grandma Joan
TP is a great place to let off steam. I found it was not only therapeutic to write things down, doing it on here were people understood was so much better.
I hope you find the same.

I am shocked to hear the Hospice was cold calling and taking doorstep direct debit mandates . I too would like to know how they can recognise someone who has dementia, yes in later stages it can be very noticeable but not always, my mum could put on a very good show for about an hour till she started losing the power of speech.
or perhaps they look for a flashing neon sign

 

[Grandma Joan]

"I am shocked to hear the Hospice was cold calling and taking doorstep direct debit mandates" .

Lin1 - I was too but they said it is the only way they can raise enough funds to continue ....

 

[Mumsmum]

I agree with the comment we have to do everything. I have more reminders on my phone for mum than anyone else. It doesn't help when her doctor, who knows she has dementia gives her a wee sticker saying, ecg, bloods, urine, back to go, and expects mum to remember to return to reception to sort it all out. That meant me late to work again as i went in to ask how they expected her or me to understand what to do, when and where!!

 

[Pickles53]

Sometimes you do have to question who has the mental health issues!

Had the exact same situation with my mum a few months back, except that practice nurse visited mum at home precisely because she was housebound and still didn't think that she had no way of getting sample back to surgery. Neither was there any follow-up when the sample wasn't taken back; we found out 4 days later when mum's cleaner went in....and yes, mum did turn out to have a UTI so all that time wasted before AB's started. Such simple things, just a bit of thought needed, that's not going to cost the NHS money.

 

[Lindy50]

Grandma Joan I so agree

I have just started a thread on similar lines (hadn't seen yours). Looking after mum is like living in a parallel universe, constantly trying to pre-empt problems and remembering things like medication, food , drinking, laundry, for her. Not to mention family birthdays, bills, hairdressing, etc, etc...

And the frustrating thing is, the better I manage this, the less people think there's anything wrong with mum, and so the less help I get...

We can't win, can we?

Lindy xx

 

[Grandma Joan]

Grandma Joan I so agree

I have just started a thread on similar lines (hadn't seen yours). Looking after mum is like living in a parallel universe, constantly trying to pre-empt problems and remembering things like medication, food , drinking, laundry, for her. Not to mention family birthdays, bills, hairdressing, etc, etc...

And the frustrating thing is, the better I manage this, the less people think there's anything wrong with mum, and so the less help I get...

We can't win, can we?

Lindy xx

Completely so Lindy50. I think our parallel lives sound very similar. And I hadn't thought but you are right, the more I do the more everyone else thinks she's coping INCLUDING my husband!

It makes me think (without being neglectful) maybe I should take a step back and see what happens .....?