Same thing happening to me as NorfolkGirl
Hi Everyone - Just joined today and am at Wits End! Can appreciate Norfolk Girl's situation, as mine appears similar.
My 89 year old mother has been in hospital since the end of April, having broken her hip falling at a respite home, (which I'd rate at 3/10, but that's another story), having been sent into respite with a broken wrist after being in another hospital two weeks, after falling. She was living alone in sheltered flat with carers 4 times a day, since ,my dad died 6 months ago, but no help at night when she is most awake, agitated and likely to fall. The paramedics have been out numerous times this year to pick her up.
We have little written medical evidence of her mental condition, which has deteriorated greatly, but at one stage an assessor wrote "impression of mixed dementia". She is hallucinatory and delusional much of the time and often verbally aggressive as ward staff have seen, but she can also be clear, focussed and lucid in her interactions with professionals when interviewed! She has always been non-compliant and stubborn - she didn't go to a GP for 40 years and has always refused to get reading spectacles, so hasn't read without a magnifying glass for 50 years! Now in hospital she is refusing a scan. That's her character before dementia!
Now we are told she is a bed-blocker and needs to move into a care home full-time, 24 care, asap. We agree this will be best and have found suitable home with vacancy. However, she point blank refuses to go. Insists she wants to go home. I have also brought in a solicitor for the elderly, who explained LPA, which she refused to sign and he says she has capacity to make that decision, however unwise. I have thought about adapting my small house, which will, of course take time, but she refuses to live with me.
She has no idea about finance or care home costs, and has forgotten about her life savings. We know that she does have more than the threshold but have no access to this money. No property to sell, She will not agree to pay for any care, as she thinks everything costs 10p! She also is oblivious of the pressure we are under, telling us "not to bother about her".
We are completely stumped as to how we can help her. Social Services in hospital have not been particularly supportive, but do we insist they take over everything??! They may put her in a home miles away, if they can't find a bed and they were suggesting one with poor standards of CQC inspection. We wouldn't be able to pay it from mum's funds and they won't take over COP because she has capacity! If they send her back to her own home then she will not be safe!
Any thoughts and suggestions welcome. Thanks for reading