Hello Kay I found the ideas very helpful in the earlier stages. It helps relationships be less stressed and less conflictual. The ideas become habit and second nature, even if difficult at first.
An example - my mother told me she had just got divorced (Dad died 20 yrs ago). Oh that's interesting I said. She told me that Dad would not be visiting as he does not know where she is! I said that there are lots of nice people here and she agreed and accepted a cup of tea. My brother walked in and Mum told him she had got divorced. He reminded her he had died. She disagreed got angry and then distressed.
It is such second nature to ask questions and takes some time to not do so. Something as simple as "have you had lunch" can make Mum agitated. She is learning how to cope with questions though. She answers with Probably or I expect so and her catch all phrase of "how's the family?"
I must say as the dementia gets worse it is still a compassionate way of being but other events seem to take over, the insistence on wandering and not being distracted, trying to poke a fork in a plug for example needs strong guidance for safety sake.
It is an emotional path to be on and one day for me specialsense is the answer, a few months later coconut oil was the answer, important , helpful but do not do away with ravages of the disease.
Hi. Thank you, yes we have been using coconut oil for about 9 months too. Have had a very stressful day today and have no idea how I will cope and the book seems to show a way to help mum hence my post. I'm needing scenarios like you suggested, I suppose its a huge learning experience isn't it?
Thank you for replying