We are the voice of the dementia suffer - to me that is one of the most important aspects of care giving me can provide.
Absolutely. We articulate what those whom we care for can't, and hope that if we can change things even a little bit, maybe we can do something to improve the lot of the poor souls who have no-one at all to speak for them.
Well done, Callieflower. If you can, when you can, try to keep track of the care for your Mum in a journal or note it down in some way - and if you can let that be known at the home, so much the better. Written evidence is very hard to refute. I know that doesn't help your Mum but if they can cope, and they have been hiding behind that old "human rights infringement" catch-all excuse, then it might just bounce them into doing what they should have been doing in the first place.
Most of us on this forum have faced aggression one way or another - and I know that there are some here for whom aggression has spiralled out of control. Trying to help someone who is much bigger and stronger and feeling threatened will always be a challenge. But in many instances, there are "windows" of opportunity, even for someone who is prone to hitting, slapping, biting, spitting.
Not many of us would like to be forced out of our clothes by a group of people and made to undress. Hardly surprising that in a fuggy world of confusion, there is resistance. But with a lot of patience and gentleness, "time outs", distractions, music, singing, taking it slowly, it is possible to get pads changed, bottoms washed etc.
I hope this marks the start of much better caring care for your Mum. Understandable that you're angry but well done for what you have achieved.