HELP I'm crashing again

[marsaday]

Hello 2 jays,

I'm only joining this thread now at this late stage. I'm sorry I haven't had time to read all what led up to your 'crash' but someone made a good comment about collapsing when there's space to allow it. Now that my Mum's in care and I'm not running at full tilt I feel a kind of sinking. She's being well looked after, I can do a lot less but have forgotten what life was like before the crisis-about 2 years of them! I sort of don't know how to adjust. I have a lot more time for me but the past just keeps replaying itself. And then there's the future to worry about!

You are right to keep to the small things. A few small targets each day are easier to cope with like getting the laundry done, baking a cake or spending time with the kids.

Your Xmas day sounds perfect and a bit like mine. We will be skiing in France then with just me, hubby n 2 teenagers for xmas day-Bliss! Guilt monster threatening slightly here at thought of poor brothers left to deal with parents. But then I have done the big family meal for years (mother always included). Then xmas proper is happening at our house on New Year's day when daughter home from London with new man in tow.

M

 

[2jays]

Hello 2 jays,

I'm only joining this thread now at this late stage. I'm sorry I haven't had time to read all what led up to your 'crash' but someone made a good comment about collapsing when there's space to allow it. Now that my Mum's in care and I'm not running at full tilt I feel a kind of sinking. She's being well looked after, I can do a lot less but have forgotten what life was like before the crisis-about 2 years of them! I sort of don't know how to adjust. I have a lot more time for me but the past just keeps replaying itself. And then there's the future to worry about!

You are right to keep to the small things. A few small targets each day are easier to cope with like getting the laundry done, baking a cake or spending time with the kids.

Your Xmas day sounds perfect and a bit like mine. We will be skiing in France then with just me, hubby n 2 teenagers for xmas day-Bliss! Guilt monster threatening slightly here at thought of poor brothers left to deal with parents. But then I have done the big family meal for years (mother always included). Then xmas proper is happening at our house on New Year's day when daughter home from London with new man in tow.

M

two years of crisis management - yes familiar. Then the feeling of sinking when mum in the care home and thinking about the past - let alone the future - very familiar. Trouble was, I continued to ignore me, so I crashed big time.

I too am Finding it difficult to remember what life was like BC - before caring but am doing what I can to make a life AC - after crisis

Yes, small targets each day. If they get done, great, if they don't.... A cup of tea works wonders . Little things, little steps, one by one.

Christmas and the guilt - difficult to ignore guilt - but it's one of my targets, ignore the guilt. We do and have done all the right things, definitely time for us now to spend our time how we want to spend it, and let others deal with stuff we dont want to deal with from now on.

Hugs xx