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hi x its horrid x dont know if i can cope ? i feel lost and alone too x wish i had a magic wand ? x please message me if you feel you would like too ? x
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It maybe that the social niceties are just too much for her now. Also, she may not necessarily understand that "engaged" means a good thing. I'm not quite sure what stage your mum is at, but I think, depending on the type of dementia things that other people think are important may simply be irrelevant to a person with dementia, particularly if it something they may not really understand.
That sounds really hard qubecks when your on your own most of the time with your Mum. Sorry you don't get support from your sisters either it's no wonder you feel confused and tired. Have you any help from social services?
i cant stop saying thank you , to night x so many good people out there x wish my half sisters was has good ? one comes to see mum every tuesday for max of 15 mins ? on her way to luch with a friend ? the other one has been to see mum 3 times in 2 and a half years ? im the baby of the three , i say baby , ha ha im 53 , i have no help from social services , they came once, then closed the case , as they say ? because mum was well looked after ? x oh well ,
i have no help from social services , they came once, then closed the case , as they say ? because mum was well looked after ? x oh well ,
Dear Qubecks,
I am sorry to read about your Mum. It is very hard coping with this situation on your own, I know I did it for my husband. I did get Social Services in when I felt I could no longer cope alone. They sent carers in twice a day during the weekdays and I carried on at weekends.
As far as your mum not sharing the excitement of your daughter's engagement, depending on what stage your mum is at, she probably doesn't understand. My husband has always loved Christmas, but last year, he didn't have a clue what was happening , why we had a big tree in the house, etc.
Sadly here are the effects of dementia; they affect everybody differently, but there are common threads that run through.
Is this still your mum - most definitely yes. She is struggling to make sense of her world, and is not choosing to be unable to understand. This makes her agitated and she will react in an unpleasant way. Again she is not choosing to be like this. I think it must be very frightening to be living in a world that you cannot make sense of.
I real feel you need to involve Social Services for support for you, to give you time for yourself. They will also monitor your Mum's condition, and give support to her too.
I hope this helps.
Jan xx
thank you jan x i wish you and your husband well x i think i do not know enough about this cruel illness ? itis just like a bad dream ? i just want my mum back ? maybe i will get used to this ? every morning i get my mum up , i wounder who she will be ? sorry to bother you with this , but i dont have anyone to talk too ? my sisters are not intrested ? which makes me feel loads worse ? x
Perhaps it's time you contacted SS for a carer's assessment for you. They obviously don't understand how bad the situation is with your Mum and they need to reopen the case but they might not realise that until you say you can't do it anymore and you have a right to have your needs assessed. I do feel for you, try and get some help I know it's very difficult when you feel so overwhelmed yourself. I would even get ready for when your sister comes, have your coat on and as she comes in say you're going to the Drs and don't know what time you'll be back. Probably not a good idea but it makes me cross when other family members leave it all to one person.
my eldest sister is very scarry x makes every excuse in the book , says her husband is very ill ? yet she stays out five hours , sopping and having lunch with a friend , she says its her day off from caring for her husband , she told me that she has been ill for 2 wks ? this was on a sat eve, said she was too ill to go anywhere ? so on the sunday morning i said to my husband , ( take a orchid and a card to my sisters _) its their annerversarry , so off he went , when he arived at their home , no one was in ? ( yet she said the night before she was to ill to go anywere ) so he was driving away from their house , and comming down the road towards him , was my sister and her husband ? both too ill to go out ? hubby said , you should have seen her face , she didnt know where to put herself ? this isnt the first time she has lied ? yet they are both too ill to spend time with mum ? im going on again ? sorry x
This is one of the reasons why Talking Point exists. It is a wonderful source of support and information. I am so glad that you have found us and hope that you will soon be feeling the benefit of the multiple ways in which TP can provide support.sorry to bother you with this , but i dont have anyone to talk too