new member looking for support and chat

[comane]

Social life

Please feel free to contact me any time, if you give me an email address then I can email you one evening. Bron

I am 83 and my wife of 77 has Alzheimer's . After 53 years of marriage I feel rather isolated and although I have someone to visit four afternoons per week which would allow me to get away I have few friends who I could visit. I have made some contacts through the internet but none locally. my wife is extremely active and fit but thinks I am her father and is endlessly looking for some imaginary children whom she thinks she is responsible for. The thinks that this is not her home and every evening wants me to take her home saying her mother will be worried about her. When I asked her age once she said "about 14",

 

[2 young]

I am 83 and my wife of 77 has Alzheimer's . After 53 years of marriage I feel rather isolated and although I have someone to visit four afternoons per week which would allow me to get away I have few friends who I could visit. I have made some contacts through the internet but none locally. my wife is extremely active and fit but thinks I am her father and is endlessly looking for some imaginary children whom she thinks she is responsible for. The thinks that this is not her home and every evening wants me to take her home saying her mother will be worried about her. When I asked her age once she said "about 14",

so sorry to hear your story. it is hard doing the caring and feeling so isolated. have you tried your local alzheimers group or carers group they can sometimes be a good way to meet other people and to be able to talk about issues that concern you. unfortunately our local alzheimers group is still finding its feet and they offer very little support for younger people with dementia and their carers but i have found the carers group to be very supportive.

 

[2 young]

Hello 2 young! I have just seen your posts and comments via the monthly Talking Point newsletter - so pleased that you have found this excellent forum and these excellent friends here.
You may also like to look at Memory People on Facebook.
Is there a carer's group near you - you may also find some very firm friends there in a Dementia Cafe or in a general carer's group where you are 'face to face' and with friends-to-be in similar circumstances.
My very best wishes Evergreen

thankyou for your reply. i have managed to find support at the carers group but as with the alzheimers group i find that most of the carers that use the sevice are so much older. its difficult sometimes to find common ground for conversation other than the problems that go with being a carer and i dont always want to be discussing those. i am feeling better since joining TP and find great benefit in being able just being able to pop in and out as i feel able.

 

[2 young]

Please feel free to contact me any time, if you give me an email address then I can email you one evening. Bron

thanks for your reply. im only just learning how to use the computer, having lessons from my daughter as and when she is able. still havent mastered e mail but watch this space!!!

 

[murray548]

i have joined talking point hoping for contact with carers in a similar position. my husband was diagnosed with demantia 6yrs ago, he was 57 and i was 49. The diagnosis came like a bolt from the blue, although i knew something was not right i wasnt expecting that. My husband is doing well on the whole but he has really slowed down and needs assistance with most things. his mobility is poor and his balance and coordination are not good. His thought processes are slow and he has difficulty remembering words but his memory for other things remains quite good. From my perspective i feel like i am living with an old man, everything has changed, we no longer share interests, i have no social life and feel i am just treading water and getting old too soon. Help

I'm 53 & my wife is 54 we've been living with the ''monster'' for 2 years now. She is getting much worse and barely talks at all. I still work full time but soon I'll have to make another life changing decision. Seems I have one to make most days. My daughter is caring for her Mum at the minute but I need to give her a life. U need to get as much and any help you can - good luck.

 

[shyanne]

new to this

i have joined talking point hoping for contact with carers in a similar position. my husband was diagnosed with demantia 6yrs ago, he was 57 and i was 49. The diagnosis came like a bolt from the blue, although i knew something was not right i wasnt expecting that. My husband is doing well on the whole but he has really slowed down and needs assistance with most things. his mobility is poor and his balance and coordination are not good. His thought processes are slow and he has difficulty remembering words but his memory for other things remains quite good. From my perspective i feel like i am living with an old man, everything has changed, we no longer share interests, i have no social life and feel i am just treading water and getting old too soon. Help

Hi i am 48 my husband is now 65 but was diagnoised with alzheimers two years ago after a further year of tests,so he has had alzheimers for three years as far as we know,i have become a single parent with two teenagers to help and guide,i have become very angry at this illness as i am finding it hard to except that my husband has this at an early age.

 

[Jo1958]

I have given up a lot and that includes pension so dont really know what will happen when I reach retirement age.

2 young, hi
Sorry I'm not at home so cannot give you a link but if you look up Carers Credits on the directgov website then you will be able to apply for them, it will pay your national insurance while you are caring for your husband and make sure that your pension is taken care of for your future.

Thinking of you and sending virtual support with best wishes from Jo

 

[jackanory]

hi i am sorry for your problem sadly dementia is not easy to cope with as i had my mum and tow sisters and now i have been diagnosed you can cope love take care .jackanory

 

[2 young]

I'm 53 & my wife is 54 we've been living with the ''monster'' for 2 years now. She is getting much worse and barely talks at all. I still work full time but soon I'll have to make another life changing decision. Seems I have one to make most days. My daughter is caring for her Mum at the minute but I need to give her a life. U need to get as much and any help you can - good luck.

thank you for your reply. sorry to hear your story. its terrible how it affects at such a young age. until it happened to us i thought it was a disease of old age. initally i heard of very few younger people but now realise i am not alone. you are right life changing decisions are part of the course. i found it very difficult to give up work but i know i have done the right thing for us. my husband seemed to improve a little when i was first at home regularly and im glad we had that time together. hope you manage to make the right decision for you but dont forget to look at all the optiions, you may be able to get someone in to allow your daughter some free time. take care.

 

[2 young]

2 young, hi
Sorry I'm not at home so cannot give you a link but if you look up Carers Credits on the directgov website then you will be able to apply for them, it will pay your national insurance while you are caring for your husband and make sure that your pension is taken care of for your future.

Thinking of you and sending virtual support with best wishes from Jo

thanks for your reply jo. sorry if i misled you. i am getting carers allowance but meant i had given up the prospect of a good pension from my employers. thankyou for your support though its been lovely to feel part of this network of friends. take care.

 

[2 young]

hi i am sorry for your problem sadly dementia is not easy to cope with as i had my mum and tow sisters and now i have been diagnosed you can cope love take care .jackanory

thankyou for your reply. im sorry to hear your story too. when i first joined TP i was feeling very low and alone but the support ive had from here has been great and it has lifted my spirit. i hope you also get lots of support and i wish you all the very best. take care.