Do You Ever Get Used To living On Your Own?

goodnightsienna

Registered User
Mar 5, 2011
72
0
Milnrow, near Rochdale
After caring for Margaret for two years my dear wife had to be looked after in a Care Home. I've been on my own for about eighteen months.
Today, I was waiting for the bus that passes our house and I thought "There's just time to have a look at Alz Talking Point. A lovely reply from Pauline, and I thought- this lady is on my wavelength-how lovely if I could sit with her this evening!- but no I must sit on my own .John stop dreaming! So I switched on the x Factor!
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,097
0
Costa Blanca Spain
Me too and all alone as usual. I have been for the past 4 years or so. We used to have different 'fun threads' running on Saturday night just to cheer us all up and by contributing to these, I felt I was in a group of friends.

Perhaps we could start our Saturday Night Club off again. I'll have a think!!

xxTinaT
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,004
0
72
Dundee
I'm not alone tonight as I am lucky enough to still have my Bill with me. I am thinking of those of you who are. x
 

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I think that people do get used to living alone but it helps to find lots of human contact in different contexts, such as neighbours, friends that pop round or that you can drop in on, people you can chat with on the phone or online. That's if you are missing contact.

Sometimes I think that a pet can help people who like animals. I find having a pet helps me a great deal, but it isn't for everyone.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
I'm on my own too, have been for four years since John went into care.

Just watched Pal Joey in floods of tears. Can't be bothered with X Factor after that.
 

normelle

Registered User
Apr 25, 2010
612
0
82
bournemouth
hi john

as others have said you are NOT on your own.
ive been on my own for 14 months and it is the pits.

i lost my brother on tues of this week,and in some strange way....i seem to feel lonier than ever.Although ,of course my brother didnt live me ,my house seems sooooooooooo empty.
like everyone has said ,john,we all have tp to turn to .bless you
love normelle xx
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,117
0
Scotland
I am another who is sitting alone tonight. Over 9 months now, my husband in hospital six months and the last three months in a care home. I have TV on, 'Casualty' but not watching it, just a glance now and then, and spend most evenings on my laptop. I do have, or did have interests/hobbies but as my husband's dementia progressed and became more demanding they declined. Except for the laptop.

Why don't I pick up my interests again? I can't, not just like that after so long. Still in limbo, trying to come to terms, no motivation, concentration, energy. Perhaps it is 'early days' yet.

I have always been content with my own company - but on a permanent basis 24/7 that is quite different.

I notice no one has actually answered the question 'Do You Ever Get Used to Living On Your Own?' I often wonder. At this moment in time I feel I will never get used to it.

TP is a great comfort to so many of us, I am so glad I found it.

Normelle, I am sorry you have recently lost your brother.
Loo xx
 
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Nan2seven

Registered User
Apr 11, 2009
2,525
0
Dorset
Dear John,

I too am on my own tonight. And every night. My middle son and grandson have been round to see me earlier with some beans and some raspberries, but went home after an hour. My eldest son telephoned to see how I am and to confirm my visit to him presently. But now I am on my own again. So much so that I nearly didn't answer your post. Bar eight weeks through December and January, I have been living on my own since last October, my husband many weeks in hospital and then in residential care. For me it does not get any easier. Like Loo above, I am very happy with my own company, but still find an empty house difficult.

[Dear Normelle, I am so sorry to see that you have lost your brother this week.]

I wonder how many there are of us, spending the evenings alone, up and down the country. Thank heavens for TP.

Love to all of you, whether you post or not.
Nan XXX
 

Lizziekins

Registered User
May 13, 2009
89
0
Bath
Hi everyone,

I haven't been on TP for absolutely ages, not since my Bill was here and I was getting so worn out that even coming on here (which had been a bit of a lifeline) was getting too much.

Then Bill went into hospital (and after a few weeks into a nursing home) in May last year. It's taken me all this time to get used to living by myself, but have very recently been realising that I'm not so lonely any more. I see him almost every day, but now do quite a few other things, and am seeing friends more.

At first - well, for a long time really, and still sometimes even now - I really suffered with guilt for not having him here to look after (even though my logical side told me that I could not have done anything different - it was the social worker who arranged for him to be admitted - and it was the right thing for Bill and for me.)

Anyway, this bit of a ramble is to say to anyone else in this situation that life does go on, some times more difficult than others, but I for one am finding a bit of light at the end of that tunnel......
 

beech mount

Registered User
Sep 1, 2008
1,524
0
Manchester
From my point of view i do not think i wil ever get used to being on my own,Mia died about 14 months ago,we had been together for 40 years.
Untill 3-4 months ago i still felt her presence in the house then one day i returned from shoping and the house was empty,and i knew she was gone now all i have is a empty house.All the things i used to do when she was alive i no longer have any interest in,they are not important and now i now longer like being out of the house for long,cant wait to get back to a empty house.
This may sound silly but Mia viseted me 6 months ago and spoke to me,and then left.
that was a comfort.
John.
 

bigtom

Registered User
Sep 19, 2009
625
0
81
bolton lancs
Hello John, I will never get used to living on my own. my wife Sylvia when into a care home in May. She was diagnosed with alzheimers in march 2005 and i cared for her at home on my own for 6 years till her illness became the severe stage and she needed nurseing care so things where taken out of my hands.I have been with syl 49 years wed for 46 years and not only my wife she was my best friend to.I go to her care home every day and spend an hour or so with her but she does not know who i am now, she has lost her speech now so i just hold her hand and this seems to make her happy,i talk about our son and daughter and grandchildren and at times she smiles and grips my hand so i hope she is getting something out of my visits. The house is so empty now i miss her so much. this is the hand i have been dealt and i will stick with it to the end whenever that maybe:eek:
 

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