I am so sorry that people are pulling that with you, Susie. You are right - it IS pathetic of them. It's interesting how so many people are "friends" when everything is so convenient or they themselves need help, but they disappear like a flash of lightening if something happens with you. Some people are so selfish, and it is sickening, as well as their excuses.
I see the abandonment a lot, and so has my gran. When I was a little girl my grandmother was a nurse and worked at a nursing home - she took me with her a lot and would roll me around on a laundry cart to see the residents, to cheer them up. I continued going to the nursing home to visit the residents for years after, even after my gran retired from working because of health problems. 98% of the people that lived there had family just dump them there and none of their family visited nor did their friends. Gran said she'd never see their families again until their relative passed away and they had to come pick up their belongings; she said one thing was often said by nearly all of them at that time: "They weren't the person I knew anymore, so I didn't see a point in going to see them. I decided to just remember who they used to be". She said it was always very upsetting to her to hear people have that uncaring attitude. Perhaps the hardest thing for her to deal with when it came to the job, or up there in the top. Now gran is in that situation; she has no friends going to see her, and really the only family that go to see her are my mother and I - the rest of the family backed out and said going to see her when she wasn't herself anymore was just not something they were interested in doing. One family member even lied about calling her, because they didn't want to look bad, but also didn't want to talk to her because he said "Driving a nail through my hand would be more pleasant than talking to someone who doesn't know what they're saying". It was quite hard for me to restrain from telling that family member of mine off. So, I can understand where you're coming from, hun. I am so sorry it is happening, though. I guess when these things happen, you really find out fast who are true friends and who aren't. It's those people who aren't worthy, not your dear mother - remember that.
xxxx