A life in the day of.........................

[BeckyJan]

and the area is still a no go area for food and drink

Now I will have to check the slimming thread - I wonder how much you have lost in weight especially with the class today.

Did you manage to see Dhiren?

 

[BeckyJan]

Helen:

It may have been in Buxton outside the Old Hall when I think you 'got off' with a man sized bear, or so the tale goes .

 

[gigi]

Due to an abnormally hectic social life I haven't been around much...

Sorry to hear about your gum problems, Sylvia..glad to hear the antibiotics are kicking in..although sorry to read

the area is still a no go area for food and drink.

... How miserable for you!

Am intrigued to hear about you dancing in the street... Especially if it was with a man sized bear...

Your past is catching up with you...

Hope you'll be eating and drinking "normally" soon.

Love xx

 

[Loopiloo]

I echo June's words, you have been an inspiration to me also, Sylvia, as to many others. I have learned much from your Thread, even although trying to put it into practice is too often less successful.

Soon after I joined TP I started reading your Thread from the beginning and got up to 300 and something of your posts. I intend to go back and continue reading when opportunity allows.

The reason I can be so matter of fact on TP is because I have no eye to eye contact with anyone. I write to a machine. As soon as I talk to anyone and hear sympathy in their voices or see sorrow in their eyes I am in pieces.
The friends I have made on TP, mostly are still anonymous. Faceless but wonderful people have shared my few highs and many lows and allowed me to share theirs.

I`m sure this illness affects us all in the same way, we just have different ways of dealing with it. For me, writing this Thread and being so well supported by so many on TP, has seen me through. For you, it`s your poetry.

I do agree with you.

Watercolour painting was my outlet, my passion, but that gradually became impossible. Then I became deeply interested in family history research, but that has also slid away (although I hope not forever). But finding TP was my salvation. Words can never express my gratitude to all of you.

Eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, can suddenly overwhelm you as you describe. I can write about it but seldom talk person to person.

The music to movement class sounded fun! Hope your mouth is soon ready to accept food and drink, and that you enjoy. Also that you have a good visit with Dhiren.

I should be visiting Henry tomorrow but have decided not to go. I saw a notice about an accordionist playing in one of the day rooms from 2pm tomorrow. This is a new community hospital with forty-five beds for physically and mentally frail older people for rehab. He is there to receive physiotherapy to try and improve his mobility after hip surgery 7 weeks ago. It is more like a care home than a general hospital.

Henry played the accordion for many years, from the age of 11 or 12. When it took its last gasp he bought an electrical keyboard.

I am sure he will benefit from listening to the accordionist playing all the old favourites than sitting with me and distressing himself repeatedly talking about coming home. I do hope so.

Apologies for intruding on your Thread, Sylvia.

Love
Loo xx

 

[Grannie G]

The dancing in the street was at Folk Week in Broadtairs.

I had a wonderful visit today.

I had asked to see Dhiren`s case notes and the manager brought the file to me this afternoon. She left it with me and said she`d be interested in feedback. If there was anything I was unhappy with or disagreed with, she would like to know. If I wanted anything added I should tell her. Any comments would be welcome.

At the front of the file was my contribution, a brief summary of Dhiren`s life, covering 2 pages of A4.
He wanted to know what the file was for so I told him it was all about him, and began to read my summary out loud to him.

As I read each statement, he nodded in agreement, saying `That`s true` , `Yes, that`s right`, or `How do they know?` He was really pleased with what I read out to him. It was lovely.

 

[cragmaid]

I'm glad you ahve a good rapport with the CH and that your infections seem to be backing off. Keep up with the good work.x.

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Maureen. xx

 

[Loopiloo]

What a good visit it sounded to be. Dhiren has a good memory of the past.

Loo xx

 

[Souffle]

Hi Sylvia sorry to hear of all your troubles. My Mum reads obsessively too, but over and over again the same pages of the book. Is this a common thing? I feel its better that she is occupying herself with something, as she doesn't watch the tele hardly any more, but it worries me that she doesn't seem to realize she is reading the same thing over and over again. if you try to replace it with a different book, she gets all cross.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Souffle

My husband sat with the same book for hours. There were reasons for this which I realized as time went by.
He liked the familiarity of the Title /Contents of the book.
He forgot he had read it 100 times before.
He needed me to see he was usefully occupied.
It was something to do with his hands.
He was pretending to read.
It was habit.
It was a comfort.
There was no point in me interfering. If I did wouldn`t have helped him so it was better I let him be.

 

[nellbelles]

For the past few months Tom has had the same talking book in his machine, but over the past few weeks I have realised that he is no longer playing it when he goes to bed, although he says he is.

Glad you had a good visit.

 

[Grannie G]

Dear nellbelles/Helen

Oh dear. It sounds as if Tom is experiencing a downturn.

 

[JayGee]

Every time I read Sidney's book of life to him he told me
it was the first time he had seen the book
but he recognised lots of the memories.
These books are such an important part of their lives in care
as any helper can pick it up and read from it and bring joy.
Dhiren's is undoubtably a great comfort to him too.
Glad all is well here's to a good new year for you both.
love June

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you June. It`s good to see you on TP.

 

[sad nell]

Sylvia, I love it when I pop in and see "A day---"I really miss your daily diary. it was my coffee break treat to read about you and Dirhen, So glad you had a lovely visit and that Dirhen enjoyed listening to his life story, hope you have many more such visits and tell us all about them please, love to you both Pam

 

[Izzy]

What a lovely visit you had Sylvia. It must have made you feel really good. x

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Izzy and Pam.
I really have to pinch myself sometimes, especially if I read earlier posts and am reminded how difficult life was.
I am just making the most of what I have in the here and now.
How could anyone believe someone with a husband with dementia can experience happiness.

 

[piedwarbler]

Sometimes my mum will say "I'm happy here" - just out of the blue.

She has only said this about three times in the last couple of years but it does lift my heart so much, especially as she has expressed suicidal thoughts every day for the preceding 15 years!!

So I understand that people with dementia can express happiness. But how they come to feel that, I can't explain. Maybe they just get caught up in the pleasure of the moment like a small child?

x

 

[Grannie G]

I had a GP`s appointment at 5pm so thought I would stay with Dhiren a while longer and go to the GP`s straight from the home.

He was lovely all afternoon , but then started sundowning. I haven`t experienced this for a long time and really do not know how I coped with it almost every day for years.

D `You haven`t seen my house have you?`
S `I think I might have.`
D `No you haven`t. I`ll take you one day.`
Then
D `I`m going home now. Are you coming?`
S `I`m staying here until it`s time for me to see the doctor. `
D `I`ll se you at home then.`
And all the time he is trying to stand up.
One of the carers [C] came with the teatime menu.
C `Mr G Would you like spaghetti or scambled egg on toast for your tea?` D `Nothing thank you. I`m going home now. I`ll eat at home.`
And it continued with such intensity , I decided to go to the doctor`s a bit earlier.

I was talking to a volunteer while waiting in the surgery for my appointment. It turned out she was a volunteer while Dhiren was in the assessment unit and remembered him. She told me she often sat with him in the garden and he talked to her. I wish I`d known then. It would have made it so much easier for me to know someone kindly had spent time with him.
She said he was a lovely man. He was and he is.

 

[maryw]

She said he was a lovely man. He was and he is.

No doubts there - You can see that from the photos xx