You know it will come, but nevertheless it is a shock

[Amber 5]

How lovely - both the poem and the pictures on balloons idea. I have a big lump in my throat and fighting back tears after reading that. Will be thinking of you all next Thursday and looking out for balloons in the sky!
Take care of yourself.
love Gill x

 

[Izzy]

What a lovely poem. Short but so appropriate. I think the balloons idea is really nice one. x

 

[gigi]

Dear Bruce,

Those words are so apt and so moving. As is the photo of Jan.

It's wonderful that the little ones can be involved and the idea of balloons with pictures attached is a great way of involving them in the service...4 year olds are often more aware than we think they are!

I wish you and Nina and the extended family a time of peace and strength in order to prepare for next Thursday...it goes without saying I'm thinking about you all.

Love xx

 

[Sam Iam]

Bruce, just to add you taste is impeccable, everything you and your family have arranged for Jan is just wonderful. You are celebrating your ladies life Bruce.xxx

 

[sue38]

The balloons sound wonderful.

I had always thought I wouldn't be able to do the eulogy for my dad but was determined to do it. I wrote it with my 2 sisters and thought that I might have to do it alone as they were even more unsure as to whether they could hold it together. In the end all 3 of us managed it. I know it's different situation when it's a parent rather than a partner you have shared your life with, but for me what I wanted to say was so important that it helped me through.

I hope you find the same strength Bruce.

 

[maryw]

I've read the poem before - it's just amazing and very reassuring. The balloons idea sounds wonderful. Wishing you peace.

 

[Brucie]

Just a brief update.

Everything is now in place for tomorrow, so many things to do.

I visited Jan this morning to say goodbye, but, of course, it wasn't Jan - it was a 69 year old, old lady, there at peace.

This was the first time I have seen someone like this, and the funeral directors had done a great job, and we chose the dress that Jan had made many years ago, and it looked good.

The missing part was the essence of Jan. Right up to the end, even in her worst moments, she was not an old lady. She had character, she could respond, even just by a twitch. She breathed. And to me she was still 25.

This may seem like visiting her for a last time was not a good thing to do. On the contrary, in reality. It won't be Jan at the service tomorrow and that will make it easier.

I will always be glad that I spent three days at her side before she passed away. That was when I said my goodbyes and told her how much I cared. That was when I thanked her for being Jan, and making my life shine.

For me, Jan is already all around me, in the blue sky we loved so much, the roads we travelled together, the music we both enjoyed, the food we gobbled down.

So, plans are now in place. I will be one of those carrying Jan's casket into the service and I'll make the tribute.

There's a really good number of friends and my family coming. Afterwards we will have a bite and raise a glass to Jan. A sizeable group of Jan's carers are coming - something I really wanted. They are using their precious day off, and they don't get many of those.

First thing in the morning, the BBC is planning to play an interview I made on Tuesday with a reporter who has covered our story before, and who asked if she could complete it now.

The BBC reckons it will be broadcast about 8.30am on Radio 4 as part of the Today programme.

Tuesday, when out walking, I had a glimmer of Jan come into my head, as she was many years ago. I think she is starting to come back to me already, and the dementia is just, fractionally, beginning to fade. I hadn't expected that so soon, but it is very welcome.

 

[Resigned]

Dear Brucie

I don't post very often but wanted to say that I hope that it all goes well for you tomorrow, I know all your friends on TP will be thinking of you.

R

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Thank you for this post, Bruce. I shall listen out for the Radio 4 interview tomorrow and be thinking of you all. Love Deborah

 

[Contrary Mary]

I echo Deborah's words and will be thinking of you tomorrow

Mary

 

[creativesarah]

Thinking of you and your family and will try and be awake to hear today programme
Grace and peace be with you
Sarah

 

[Pollyanna]

I hope that tomorrow is everything you want it to be.

I can't say that I tune in to Radio 4 very often, but I will tomorrow.

Polly

 

[CaPattinson]

tomorrow

Dear Brucie, my thoughts are with you, bless you.

 

[ann vickers]

bruce,sorry 2 hear your sad news,

 

[Grannie G]

I have thought of you every day since Jan began her final journey Bruce and I hope you both find peace tomorrow.
Love xx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Bruce,

That was the moving moving update of what is happening in your life as you prepare for tomorrow. The very strong image I have carried so far is when you said "I am scarred for life" and it seems that Jan is making sure that this becomes soft scar tissue as you begin to see and remember things other than the ravishes of the illness. I hope so anyway!!

It sounds like you are well prepared for tomorrow and I am sure everyone will be blessed by the love that you and Jan share.

Peace be with you Bruce.

Helen

 

[gigi]

Dear Bruce,

I'll tune into Radio 4 tomorrow and will be thinking of you.

Wishing you "peace in your heart at the end of the day".

Love xx

 

[Izzy]

You write so beautifully about Jan. Thinking of you. X

 

[sad nell]

Brucie your Jan was so lucky to have you Brucie, hope tomorrow is all that you wish it to be, am sure it will be, so glad you are thinking of Jan Pre AD, i sometimes find that hard to do also, must try to catch you on radio, am proud to have got to know you and Jan, thinking of you Pam

 

[Vonny]

Dear Bruce, what a beautiful order of service, and the balloons are such a lovely idea.

Your unstinting care of, and love for Jan have always shone through here on TP. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow, as I have often thought of you recently. xxx