first id like to say hi,,,
im new here and finding my way around,
my mum was diognosed last year,
i feel very selfish and angry at my self,i will try to explain why
mum had me when she was nearly 48 and as a teenager her and i found it difficult to communicate,as i got older and had children,we grew closer and spent a lot of time togeather,if we wernt togeather she would phone or i would phone lots,
mum was never a huggy i love you kind of mum but as we both got older we developed that kind of relationship ,id send her flowers every week just to make her smile,
now because of her alzhimers she sometimes forgets who i am ,especially in the evenings if i call her,
i have started to back off from her and protect my heart, i hope this doesnt sound to stupid and that someone will know how i feel,
i mean i dont give the same hugs smiles etc as i did before although i know she needs them as much if not more,
i keep waking at 4am ,thinking about the fact i lost my dad 5 years ago,now im losing my mum ,can someone please help me by advising me how to bring down the walls ive put up between mum and i?
i do spend a lot of time with mum,take her shoping do her washing etc etc ,but i feel like the daughter from hell because im scared to love her because im going to lose her ,
im new here and finding my way around,
my mum was diognosed last year,
i feel very selfish and angry at my self,i will try to explain why
mum had me when she was nearly 48 and as a teenager her and i found it difficult to communicate,as i got older and had children,we grew closer and spent a lot of time togeather,if we wernt togeather she would phone or i would phone lots,
mum was never a huggy i love you kind of mum but as we both got older we developed that kind of relationship ,id send her flowers every week just to make her smile,
now because of her alzhimers she sometimes forgets who i am ,especially in the evenings if i call her,
i have started to back off from her and protect my heart, i hope this doesnt sound to stupid and that someone will know how i feel,
i mean i dont give the same hugs smiles etc as i did before although i know she needs them as much if not more,
i keep waking at 4am ,thinking about the fact i lost my dad 5 years ago,now im losing my mum ,can someone please help me by advising me how to bring down the walls ive put up between mum and i?
i do spend a lot of time with mum,take her shoping do her washing etc etc ,but i feel like the daughter from hell because im scared to love her because im going to lose her ,