My sister and I have cared for our parents for 2-3 years . My Mother has Altzeimers ( early) and my Father has unspecified dementia. My sister and I both have difficult jobs and at first managed ok between us - it was all very organised ! but the last year unfortunately has been awful and both of us are burned out .It is affecting every aspect of our lives including our health . We’ve both had to reduce our hours at work and I’ve been called out of work many times by the carers for ‘emergencies’ .My managers have been very understanding so far , but I’m not sure for how much longer .
We pay for carers 4 times a day for Dad who is doubly incontinent ( due to prostate cancer , not dementia) , but despite the carers being amazing -they are having problems with staffing and frequently don’t turn up until gone 11 am and are constantly phoning me with various problems.
My Mum doesn’t think she needs carers and is refusing to have them .We have to prepare / cook all of their meals .Mum is very fussy about what she eats -so ‘meals on wheels ‘ and ready meals are not an option !!! Freshly cooked each time !! -then she doesn’t always eat them because she’s been ‘ snacking’ The repetitive conversations I have with Mum are finally driving me crazy !! because I’m so tired. !
My Dad is probably coming close to needing 24 hour care, but my Mum just wants to get out of the house and be sociable , which is difficult because we can’t leave Dad on his own for too long .They both have very different needs
I just don’t know where to go from here - we can’t cope anymore and I worry about them constantly. It’s got to a point where I have panic attacks when I walk down their drive - not knowing what I’m going to face ( they live 5 mins from me ) I know that it’s only going to get a lot worse .
We pay for carers 4 times a day for Dad who is doubly incontinent ( due to prostate cancer , not dementia) , but despite the carers being amazing -they are having problems with staffing and frequently don’t turn up until gone 11 am and are constantly phoning me with various problems.
My Mum doesn’t think she needs carers and is refusing to have them .We have to prepare / cook all of their meals .Mum is very fussy about what she eats -so ‘meals on wheels ‘ and ready meals are not an option !!! Freshly cooked each time !! -then she doesn’t always eat them because she’s been ‘ snacking’ The repetitive conversations I have with Mum are finally driving me crazy !! because I’m so tired. !
My Dad is probably coming close to needing 24 hour care, but my Mum just wants to get out of the house and be sociable , which is difficult because we can’t leave Dad on his own for too long .They both have very different needs
I just don’t know where to go from here - we can’t cope anymore and I worry about them constantly. It’s got to a point where I have panic attacks when I walk down their drive - not knowing what I’m going to face ( they live 5 mins from me ) I know that it’s only going to get a lot worse .