My Dad is 18 months post diagnosis of mixed dementia and I wondered how other people cope with not knowing what the future holds?
I have really taken on the standard advice to try to enjoy time with him and focus on the here and now, but that’s never been a strategy that works for me in terms of coping with any situation and actually make me feel more anxious.
He seems relatively well just now but I wake in the night wondering if I am kidding myself that visiting him once a week is enough (he lives about an hour away). Or I wonder if people say this, because it’s going to be really bad all of a sudden. A couple of really insensitive people who had experiences with dementia have hinted that he will most likely not recognise us ag some point and will be aggressive.
It reminds me of a close relative who had a terminal illness and the hospital staff told us not to read anything and to take things as they come. He died at the textbook average expectancy and with the symptoms expected. I felt like if they had been slightly more open about what was going to happen, we could have been better prepared. For example, I wouldn’t have booked a holiday when he was in the last weeks of his life. It sounds silly, but we didn’t actually realise that he was in the end stages until the GP told us on a home visit. I’m scared of this happening again.
How do you cope with the not knowing if it’s not a style of coping that’s helpful to you? Or were you able to piece together some information?
Sorry for the big ramble, but I do find it stressful wondering if my Dad might not be here next year and I’ve not fully grasped this yet.
I have really taken on the standard advice to try to enjoy time with him and focus on the here and now, but that’s never been a strategy that works for me in terms of coping with any situation and actually make me feel more anxious.
He seems relatively well just now but I wake in the night wondering if I am kidding myself that visiting him once a week is enough (he lives about an hour away). Or I wonder if people say this, because it’s going to be really bad all of a sudden. A couple of really insensitive people who had experiences with dementia have hinted that he will most likely not recognise us ag some point and will be aggressive.
It reminds me of a close relative who had a terminal illness and the hospital staff told us not to read anything and to take things as they come. He died at the textbook average expectancy and with the symptoms expected. I felt like if they had been slightly more open about what was going to happen, we could have been better prepared. For example, I wouldn’t have booked a holiday when he was in the last weeks of his life. It sounds silly, but we didn’t actually realise that he was in the end stages until the GP told us on a home visit. I’m scared of this happening again.
How do you cope with the not knowing if it’s not a style of coping that’s helpful to you? Or were you able to piece together some information?
Sorry for the big ramble, but I do find it stressful wondering if my Dad might not be here next year and I’ve not fully grasped this yet.