Well the capacity assessment didn't happen on Friday as planned. On Thursday evening I had a call from the care home where he was in respite care to tell me they had called an ambulance for my husband. Apparently he had asked to go to the toilet but couldn't stand from his chair and was complaining of severe backpain. It took 3 carers to get him to the toilet. They then had more difficulty getting him off the toilet. He was given medication for the pain but he still couldn't stand and walk. They consulted with the surgery who advised calling an ambulance. They were told the wait could be two hours. They said they would let me know when the ambulance arrived. Because his room in the care home is upstairs and they only have a stair lift it was impossible for them to get him to his room. I later had a call to say the ambulance had arrived. He had been given more medication for the pain and after 40 minutes had managed to stand with help and walk a few steps. He then sat down and couldn't get up again! They wanted to take him to hospital but he was refusing to go. I was asked to speak to him to persuade him he needed to go. I spoke to him and told him he had to go to be checked over. His response was 'where do you think I am now?' I said you're at the care home but you need to go to hospital. He agreed to go if I thought he should. He couldn't make this decision for himself, he didn't understand why he needed to go to hospital. Does this call into question his mental capacity to make appropriate decisions?
So he is now in hospital and as usual I'm getting very little information. He is being given antibiotics because blood tests indicate an infection somewhere but they don't know where. The diabetes team need to review him as he apparently has a blister on his foot. They say his dementia was reviewed before he reached this ward, they can't tell me what this means or who it was reviewed by. He will be reviewed by the physio but probably not over the weekend because they are prioritising patients for discharge. All this I had to drag out of the nurse in charge yesterday after his first response was 'he's doing well'. I said that tells me absolutely nothing, he has dementia, I need to know what is going on. I've told him under no circumstances is he to be told that he can go home until a proper mental capacity assessment is done because this was planned before he was admitted to establish whether he has the capacity to make decisions about living at home. I told the nurse I can't manage him at home any more and he isn't safe. I'm not sure how much of this he understood. I told him that his social worker will send all her records to the hospital. He actually asked me if I'd heard of care at home for my husband! How patronising!! I informed him we have had care at home but it doesn't work. He has dementia, he won't wait for carers to come to get him up or go to bed so I have to do it and I pay for a service he doesn't receive. I am now completely drained and depressed. I spent the whole of yesterday evening crying. I'd had a phone call from my husband saying he hopes he can come home soon. Last time he was in hospital in July last year I had the same scenario. I've been advised to refuse to have him home which I tried to do last time but they told me he had mental capacity and wanted to come home. I don't believe they did a proper mental capacity assessment, in fact they admitted last time that they didn't but they decided he had to come home. I have no confidence that they will do things properly this time and I dread the battle ahead. The respite has turned into a complete nightmare and I can't see where things will go from here.
So he is now in hospital and as usual I'm getting very little information. He is being given antibiotics because blood tests indicate an infection somewhere but they don't know where. The diabetes team need to review him as he apparently has a blister on his foot. They say his dementia was reviewed before he reached this ward, they can't tell me what this means or who it was reviewed by. He will be reviewed by the physio but probably not over the weekend because they are prioritising patients for discharge. All this I had to drag out of the nurse in charge yesterday after his first response was 'he's doing well'. I said that tells me absolutely nothing, he has dementia, I need to know what is going on. I've told him under no circumstances is he to be told that he can go home until a proper mental capacity assessment is done because this was planned before he was admitted to establish whether he has the capacity to make decisions about living at home. I told the nurse I can't manage him at home any more and he isn't safe. I'm not sure how much of this he understood. I told him that his social worker will send all her records to the hospital. He actually asked me if I'd heard of care at home for my husband! How patronising!! I informed him we have had care at home but it doesn't work. He has dementia, he won't wait for carers to come to get him up or go to bed so I have to do it and I pay for a service he doesn't receive. I am now completely drained and depressed. I spent the whole of yesterday evening crying. I'd had a phone call from my husband saying he hopes he can come home soon. Last time he was in hospital in July last year I had the same scenario. I've been advised to refuse to have him home which I tried to do last time but they told me he had mental capacity and wanted to come home. I don't believe they did a proper mental capacity assessment, in fact they admitted last time that they didn't but they decided he had to come home. I have no confidence that they will do things properly this time and I dread the battle ahead. The respite has turned into a complete nightmare and I can't see where things will go from here.